Chapter 7 #3
She’s so pale, and her teeth chatter as her body shivers.
I’m an asshole for dragging her through all this, but I also know I can’t move forward without her.
“The—the party. The big one. Terra had been planning it for months. She had her largest recruitment class—families and kids aged five to seventeen that she was…onboarding. She was—” She licks her lips, almost compulsively.
“She was transferring ownership of them. She didn’t pay much attention to the families, because they’d all be separated during initiations anyway.
But this was the party…she thought I was ready. ”
“Ready for what?” I ask.
“To be the showcase. To be put on display. For everyone to…test her methods on.”
The world narrows to a pinpoint.
“You were fifteen.”
She’s shaking now. “Almost sixteen. That’s when you come of age at Roots of Salvation, and she had very specific plans for me. As soon as I was claimed, my training would have intensified.”
“Claimed?” I roar, then immediately rein it in. For as jumpy as Clover is, she doesn’t show an ounce of fear around me, and I don’t want to give her a reason to start.
Even with my outburst, though, she remained still.
She’s not afraid of me. She’s afraid of the damn garbage truck that makes too much noise, but not me. What did I do to earn this kind of trust?
“She had plans for us.” Her voice is detached now.
Maybe it’s no longer an unwavering trust. “A merging of families, or whatever you want to call it, that she believed would bring in even more elite members.” Her fingers move quicker, tapping a beat on her thigh.
“You overheard her and told me we had to leave. She was planning to up the mind-fuckery until my free will was stripped away. She wanted my mind to be an empty vessel for her teachings. Miriam helped you get in touch with Vivi, and you made a plan. We were supposed to sneak off the night of the ceremony, while everyone was distracted, but—”
“We ran.”
“I ran.” She meets my eyes. “You got me to the main road, to Miriam, but you stayed behind to throw them off. To make sure they couldn’t track me.
If we’d both disappeared at the same time, Terra would have found me too quickly.
The plan was for you to meet me once Vivi arrived.
” A tear slips down her cheek, and I sit on my hands to keep from wiping it away. “But I never saw you again.”
Wrecks barks loudly, then whines while attempting to climb into her lap, just before my phone buzzes.
Roman: Savvy’s stable. Swelling is decreasing and doctors are optimistic.
I show Clover the message, and her entire body folds in on itself. “I should call Madi and Elle.” She’s already reaching for her phone. “They’ll want to know.”
“Go ahead. I’ll clean up here.” Nothing in me wants to touch that journal ever again.
She disappears up the stairs with her phone pressed to her ear, and I’m left alone in the kitchen with a dog too big for the room and the remnants of a childhood I’m only now beginning to understand.
My phone buzzes again on the table.
Roman: Also, Grant’s planning a trip to Happiness and bringing half of Charlotte with him. Prepare for chaos.
Me: Define chaos.
Roman: Grant, Sterling, Chase, plus some additions to the security team. Grant insists.
Me: You can’t take over an entire town.
Roman: We’re protecting the town. There’s a difference.
Me: Is there?
Roman: Ask me again when Chief attempts to assign you to the graveyard shift.
I’m still staring at my phone when Clover returns, eyes red, but smiling.
“Madi’s crying. Happy crying.” She wipes her eyes. “Elle’s already planning the welcome home party for Savvy when she wakes up.”
“That’s good. That you have each other, I mean.”
“It is.” She scans me from head to toe. “You should go home, Valen. Get some rest. You’ve been up for—”
“Forty-eight hours,” I fill in. “But I’m fine.”
“Valen.” She’s silently asking for space, so I nod.
“I’ll be right outside.”
“You don’t have to.”
“I do, though.” I move toward the door, Wrecks following, and I frown. “The dog needs somewhere to sleep.”
“He can just sleep in the bed with me.”
Shit. Am I jealous? Again? “Are you sure?”
“I think—” She clutches her sweater tighter around herself. “I think I’d like the company.”
I bite my tongue so I don’t say anything inappropriate—something like allow me.
She follows me to the doorway. We’re too close and not close enough, and I have the overwhelming urge to pull her into my arms like I did this morning.
But I don’t.
Because she’s fragile right now. And I’m still a stranger who forgot her.
“Goodnight, Clover.” I unlock her door and open it.
“Goodnight, Valen.” She places a hand on the doorframe. “And thank you. For—for everything today. As hard as it is to relive it, it’s healing to relive it with you.”
“You don’t have to thank me.”
“I do though.” Under the porch light, her eyes are the color of honey. “You’re choosing to stay. Even though you don’t remember. Even though this is complicated and messy and—” She breaks eye contact, choosing to stare at my shoulder instead. “Thank you. I’ve needed this.”
I don’t trust myself to speak, so I nod. It’s insufficient and cowardly, but she accepts it with a small smile I pretend she’s saved just for me.
As soon as she closes the door, my head falls to it with a dull thud.
I know without opening my eyes that she’s going through her home, checking that each light is shining brightly. Somewhere behind this door, she’s counting her way through another night.
But this time, she’s not alone.
This time, I’m ten feet away in a ridiculous black tank.
And this time, no one will tear me away.