Chapter 13
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
VALEN
Leaving Happiness feels like committing a crime that makes no sense.
Clover sits in the passenger seat of the RV, counting under her breath as we pass the Take Some Happiness with You sign at the town limits. Her fingers tap against her thigh—one, two, three, four, five—and her breathing is measured and controlled.
But I have a feeling underneath this mask, she’s anything but calm.
Ever since we smuggled her into the back of the RV and pulled out of her driveway, she’s been a shell, an illusion of who she was becoming. She has the strongest coping mechanisms I’ve ever witnessed, but how effective are they really?
“Are you okay?” I keep my tone even and light so I don’t startle her again.
I still can’t believe she got the jump on me in her kitchen. I’m not sure who was more surprised, her or me, but I am grateful to know that in times of duress, her muscle memory kicks in, even if her mind freezes.
“Three. Four. Five.” She mumbles the rest of her count before looking at me. “It’s just a lot.”
“I know.”
“The farthest from home I’ve been lately is Greyson’s new office, and it practically straddles the line of Happiness and Hopevale. That’s—” She laughs, and it’s a wobbly sound with no joy. “It’s less than five miles from my house.”
Chief leans forward from the new leather recliner I had bolted to the floor that he quickly claimed as his territory. “You’re doin’ great, Clover. Just keep moving forward.”
“There’s no pressure here,” I say gently.
“No judgment. This is your call, Clover. Yes, getting you out of Happiness, and out from under the all-seeing eye of your stalker is appealing, and as your boyf—ah—bodyguard.” Holy shit.
“I also understand if it’s too much. If you can’t handle any part of it, then we’ll find a plan B. ”
Fuck. I almost called myself her boyfriend.
Her gaze lingers on my face. Those honey-colored eyes bore into my soul, and I wish I weren’t driving so I could get lost in them. I have no doubt that this woman knows me better than anyone, even myself. I wish I could recall how we got to this point.
“I can do this,” she says, before biting her bottom lip.
“You can,” I agree.
She’s picking at her cuticles now—a habit I’ve noticed she does when counting isn’t enough. Her thumb works at the skin beside her nail until I gently cover her fingers with mine. She stills, and it’s as though her nervous energy bleeds from her limbs into mine.
“I can do anything for five seconds.” Her voice is like honey. Sweet. Tame. Rich.
She can do so much more than she realizes. Five seconds, or five million, she has an inner strength I wish she could acknowledge. Clover Danforth is a warrior—she just hasn’t recognized that piece of herself yet.
Behind us, Wrecks has claimed the entire floor where the Murphy bed should be, sprawled out like he owns the vehicle, chewing on his third “indestructible” toy of the hour.
I glance in the rearview mirror where Chief’s puttering around in the kitchenette, listening to something that sounds suspiciously like pop music while Clover…
She’s watching the world go by as though she’s seeing it for the first time.
“Look!” She rolls down her window and inhales deeply before pointing at a roadside fruit stand. “Peach cobbler. It smells heavenly, doesn’t it?”
I side-eye her. “Clover, we’re going sixty miles an hour.”
“I can smell them.” She’s practically hanging out the window, so I reach over, grab a fistful of her sweater, and drag her back in before I crash the RV from a heart attack.
“That’s not safe,” I grumble.
“Ah, I’m sitting,” she says. “You can…”
I follow her line of sight and immediately release the fist I still have on her sweater.
“Sorry,” I say. “Habit.”
“No problem, though I find words are generally just as effective.”
Is she— “Are you teasing me?”
Her cheeks flare with the prettiest shade of pink. “I just didn’t know that personal security was so…handsy.”
“Can’t help himself,” Chief hollers from the back of the RV. “You’re two sides of the same coin…never meant to be separated.”
My fingers flex, and I realize my palm is now resting on her thigh. It’s like she’s her own magnetic field, and my entire body is tuned into her force.
Breaking our connection takes physical strength and a mental pep talk.
“Oh, look at that barn! Did you see it?” Clover’s eyes are wide, the discomfort fading into wonder. “The entire thing was painted with sunflowers. Who paints a whole barn?”
“Hippies?”
“Happiness seekers,” she corrects.
It’s going to be a long road trip if she gets this excited about everything. I don’t have the heart to keep turning her down.
Chief snorts from the kitchenette. “Clover, there’s a whole world out there just waitin’ for you to explore. Maybe after all this is said and done, you’ll finally take one of those adventures you’ve been daydreaming about your whole dang life.”
“I have plenty of adventures.” Her protest is weak at best.
“Making them up in your head isn’t the same as experiencing them, and you know it,” he hollers back.
“Secret gardens are great places for making plans,” I say quietly.
“Now you just have to unlock the door. Living in fictional worlds is safe, I get that, but you’ve been living in black-and-white when you were made for Technicolor.
And you, Honeybee?” I cut my gaze to hers and find her staring at me with her mouth agape.
“When you unlock your story, you’ll shine brighter than any star. ”
“Now, that’s a line for a Heartmark film if I ever heard one.” Chief chuckles from the belly of the RV, and just like that, the tension breaks.
“Thank you, Valen. For saying all that.” Clover’s words are almost lost to Chief’s overpowering laughter. But I heard it, and once again, my name triggers a memory I can’t quite catch, but I know it’s there. I feel it, and when they do come flooding back, my world is going to change forever.
“Always.” I flash her a smile, and as the miles fly by, she relaxes, settles in, singing along to whatever Chief’s playing in the background. But never once does she count, and that hits me like a personal accomplishment I’ve been chasing my entire life.
By the time we stop for gas a few hours later, Clover’s entire demeanor has shifted. It’s subtle. Her weighted sweater has fallen to the floor, and her cheeks are flushed with excitement. She even gets out of the RV, standing in the parking lot like she’s conquered Everest.
“I’m on a road trip,” she says, wonder coating every word. “Doing things I’ve never done before.”
“What’s that?” My body feels lighter, more at ease too.
“I’m…standing in a random gas station parking lot in North Carolina.”
“Technically, we’re still in South Carolina—”
“Shh. Let me have this.” She spins in a circle with her arms spread. “I’m having a moment.”
And what a fucking moment. She’s the beautiful innocence in life I never thought I’d get back.
Chief pumps gas while I watch Clover photograph everything. The gas station. The vending machines. A stray cat that’s eyeing Wrecks while he chases a butterfly he has no chance of catching.
A dark SUV pulls into the lot with tinted windows and out-of-state plates.
My whole body stands at attention. I track it while it parks on the far side, until a tired-looking family of four spills out, heading toward the restrooms. Jesus, I’m on edge.
Still, my hand stays on my hip until they’re inside, and I make a mental note of their license plate. Just in case.
“She’s been plannin’ this for years, you know,” Chief says while staring at the gas pump.
“Planning what?”
“Road trip. She has a whole list. Things she wants to do. Places she wants to see. Never thought she’d be brave enough to actually do it.”
Someone might as well wrap a fist around my heart and clench as hard as they can. “What kind of things?”
“You’ll have to ask her.” Chief caps the gas tank and heads toward the store. “But maybe, if you’re lucky, she’ll let you be the one to help her check more off that someday list of hers.”
Moments later, Clover exits the building, pressing herself against the side of it until she spots me, then makes a beeline for me, holding a snow globe of a farm stand full of peaches.
“They had a gift shop.” She presses the snow globe to my chin. “It’s got glitter.”
Innocent. So damn innocent. And every time I see her, I want to defile her in every way possible.
Lusting after a client is a terrible idea that’s never been a problem for me before. Lusting after the one person who knows all my secrets could be disastrous…and yet, I can’t seem to do a fucking thing about it. “It’s very…sparkly.”
“I love it,” she says, making me smile as she shakes it to watch the golden peaches swirl around the farm stand. “We couldn’t make many stops when Miriam was helping me get away from ROS. This is my first souvenir on my first real road trip.”
She’s perfect.
My phone buzzes with a group text from my cousins, and I groan.
Chase: How’s our girl doing?
Sterling: I’ve been monitoring traffic cams. No tails that I can see.
Grant: Mom would have loved her, V. Just wanted you to know that.
My throat burns. Grant doesn’t bring up his mother lightly. Him recognizing something worth mentioning in Clover means more than I know how to say, so I pocket my phone.
“What else can we check off your bucket list?” I ask.
She freezes, and her happy smile morphs into a strange wobble. “My what?”
“Chief said you have a road trip bucket list of things you want to do.”
“Chief has a big mouth,” she mutters as a beautiful blush creeps across her cheeks.
“Tell me.”
“It’s silly—”
“Clover.” I wait until she meets my gaze. “Tell. Me.”
She fidgets with the snow globe. “It’s just— When I first moved to Happiness, I started making lists of things I’d do when I was brave. Stupid stuff mostly.” She shakes the snow globe again. “I’ve been there for years, and my list just keeps…growing.”
“Like what?”