Chapter 7
Seven
Callie hesitated at the solar door where two guards stood on either side, making sure the countess didn’t leave her rooms again. But a moment’s hesitation was all she gave it. Her anger high, she strode between the men and threw the door open, then slammed it shut.
The countess looked up with a startled gasp from her perch on the bed as Callie charged unannounced into her room.
“What is the meaning of this?” Callie asked, moving to the bed to hand the countess the bottle of poison.
The lady wiped the tears from her eyes and drew a ragged breath as she ignored the bottle.
She lifted her chin regally while toying with the edges of the pillow in her lap.
“I thought you would have need of it tonight. Either for yourself or preferably for him. Either way it would spare you having to stomach such a repulsive monster in your bed.”
Callie was aghast. What on earth was the woman thinking? “How can you say that about your own son?”
The countess stiffened, her dark eyes snapped righteous fire. “He is no son of mine. That bastard destroys everything he touches. He always has. If you were wise, you’d drink that poison now and save yourself years of untold misery at his hands.”
The countess’ hatred of Sin mystified her. What could he have done to his mother to warrant such rampant hostility? “Why do you hate him so? What has he ever done to you?”
“What has he done?” she shrieked, rising from the bed and dropping her pillow to the floor.
“He ruined my life. That wretched demonic father of his seduced me when I was just a child. I spent one night with him that no one should have ever known about. Instead, I conceived. When my father found out, he was so enraged he beat me so severely it would have swept any normal infant from my womb. But not him. He is the devil’s own.
He even survived when I drank potions that should have killed him. ”
Callie’s stomach knotted at what the woman was describing. Her hatred of Sin was unimaginable. She’d known there were mothers unfit to raise their children, but never in her life had she heard of anything like this.
“When he was born,” the countess continued, “he almost killed me. I bled so that ‘tis a wonder I ever survived. When they tried to hand him to me, I couldn’t bear to even look at him. So I bade my maid procure a nurse and send him immediately to his father.”
“You sent a newborn bairn out into the world within hours of his birth?”
“Hours? I sent him out as soon as I had finally flushed him from my body.”
Callie couldn’t breathe as pain assailed her. She saw the image of a newborn being handed off so clearly in her mind. How could anyone be so cruel?
Worse, there was no remorse in his mother’s face. She felt fully justified in what she’d done to him.
It made no sense to Callie.
Rage and hatred burned in the countess’s eyes. “The man I wanted to marry refused have me after I had been stretched by another man’s child, so my father viciously married me off to a man older than he was.”
“None of that is Sin’s fault.”
“But it is. Had he not been born, none of it would have happened.” She snarled her lips and glared.
By the light in her eyes, ‘twas obvious the past was replaying itself to her. “I sent him to his father and thought I was through with him forever. Then ten years later, he showed up at court and all the gossips started in again. I had to live with that disgrace daily. People whispering behind my back. Comments and aspersions being made about my dear baby Roger. My husband was a pious man and made me wear hair shirts beneath my gowns from that day until he died. I was humiliated and forced to beg penance constantly for that creature’s birth. And now that monster has taken the only thing good in my life. Roger was all that was important to me. The only thing that gave my putrid life any happiness.”
Callie felt for the woman’s grief and she wished she could ease the pain she knew the countess bore over the death of her son. But none of that changed what she’d done to her eldest, who had been nothing more than an innocent babe in dire need of a mother’s love.
“Sin didn’t kill him.”
“You’re a fool if you believe his lies.”
Callie patted the countess’s arm in sympathy, wishing she knew what to say to ease the woman’s suffering.
But there was nothing she could do that would make his mother accept him or feel better. Shaking her head at the tragedy of it all, she handed the poison back to her. “I am very sorry for your loss, milady.”
She turned and quietly left the countess to her conscience.
Sin spent the entire day riding. He’d left London behind and headed south.
Part of him wanted to just keep going. He had lands all over England, Normandy and Outremer.
Castles so strong not even Henry’s entire army could breech them.
No one had ever defeated him in battle. He could destroy nations if the mood took him.
There was no reason why he had to go back to London or to his wife.
None whatsoever.
No reason other than the fact that he liked the feel of her hand on his arm. The look of laughter that hung in her bright green eyes. The look of that peekaboo dimple that flashed when she spoke.
He closed his eyes as indecision ripped him apart.
Tonight she would be his. He could take her over and over until he was sweaty and spent, until they both were unable to move from exhaustion. She wouldn’t deny him the right of her body. Wouldn’t turn away from him in disgust or fear.
For once, he could have comfort and a welcoming touch. There was no doubt in his mind.
Sin closed his eyes and tried to imagine a world where someone truly wanted him. A world filled with someone who would smile at his approach. Of someone’s face lighting up in happiness at his presence.
Would it be so awful?
Callie wanted to be wife to him. Could he not be husband?
He could try.
Aye. He could at that. His heart suddenly lighter, he wheeled his horse about and headed back to London.
Sitting at the window with her dinner laid out on the small table, Callie watched the sun set with no sign of her husband anywhere. He’d left hours ago and no one knew where he was headed or when he would be back.
If he would be back.
She heard her door open. Hoping for Sin, she turned to see Aelfa entering the room with sad eyes. “He has yet to return, milady.”
So this was it then. Alone even on her wedding night. It didn’t bode well for her future if he showed her so little regard today of all days.
Callie glanced to the ring on her finger. When she’d first seen it, she’d hoped that maybe there could be peace between them. That maybe he might be willing to accept her into his life.
She was such a fool.
“He could still return,” Aelfa offered charitably.
Callie picked at the dinner she had hoped to share with her husband. As she sat there staring at his empty trencher across from her, she became angry. This was her wedding night! How dare he treat her this way.
How could he have so little regard for her? The more she thought about it, the angrier she became. She had been nothing but kind and cordial to him. Had shown him only respect and then he couldn’t even be bothered to show himself for supper?
Well, she wasn’t some nothing. It was one thing to need time alone, quite another to wallow in self-pity and leave her guessing about where he was and when, if ever, he might decide to return to her.
By all the saints above, she wasn’t going to sit her another minute and feel this lowly and unwanted. If he didn’t want her, fine. She wasn’t going to spend the rest of her life trying to please him when it was obvious he didn’t want to be pleased at all.
“Where is Simon?” she asked Aelfa.
“With Jamie, in his room.”
“Could you please watch Jamie for a short time and ask Simon to come to me?”
Aelfa looked a bit confused, but didn’t hesitate with her answer. “Aye, milady. Gladly.”
Callie got up as the maid left and quickly washed her face and straightened her appearance.
It didn’t take too long for Simon to join her and yet she’d managed to down two goblets of wine while waiting for him.
“Can I be of service, milady?”
“Aye, Simon. I hear music below and since my husband seems wont to ignore me, I would really appreciate it if you would escort me to the hall where I can actually enjoy my wedding night.”
She saw the hesitation on his face.
“Please, Simon. Otherwise, I shall just sit here until I become so angry that I might do him harm.”
He laughed at that. “I would like to see that, I think.”
But he escorted her below.
Callie decided she would enjoy this night. Partaking of the wine and music, she danced with Simon until her head was light and dizzy from it.
Sin entered his wife’s chambers and drew up short. There was no sign of her anywhere. A cold meal, barely touched, rested on the table by the window.
Where was she?
Frowning, he glanced around the room, trying to discern what mood she might have been in when she left.
Surely, she wouldn’t have escaped now after they were wed. She’d told him she would be waiting.
Pain pierced his chest at the thought of her fleeing from him. It was so severe that it momentarily took his breath. He hadn’t realized until that instant just how much he’d looked forward to seeing her when he arrived. Of finding her here with a welcoming smile on her face.
Stunned by the realization, he headed below to find Simon and see if he had word of her.
The crowd in the great hall was thick. Music, voices and laughter rang throughout the madness of it. Couples danced in the center while some groups stood off to the side and people lined the tables that were filled to overflowing with food and drink.
Every time Sin drew near a group, they would grow silent and stare at him with repugnance etched into their faces. And as soon as he passed, their heads would go together and they would whisper.
Sin didn’t care. He had no use for them either.