Chapter 14
Fourteen
Late that night, Emily sat with her sisters, Joanne and Judith. Everyone had retired long ago, and the three of them sat in Joanne’s solar whispering like they had done when they were little girls.
Judith had taken off her nun’s habit, but her shorn hair was a stark contrast to their long braids. Even so, ‘twas good to be sisters again if only for the night.
She and Judith sat on the bed while Joanne took her usual seat in her chair before the window.
“Did you see the look of shock on Niles’s face?” Joanne asked in a glee-filled voice.
Aghast, Emily and Judith exchanged puzzled looks. Joanne had never been one to condone violence of any sort.
How could she take such enjoyment from seeing her betrothed humiliated?
Then Joanne sobered as she looked to Emily. “Lord Draven has never struck you, has he?”
“Nay.” Why would her sister ask such? “He’s normally so in control of himself. I can’t imagine what possessed him to strike out at Niles.”
Joanne stared out the window as if she pondered Emily’s words.
Silence fell for several minutes while Emily and Judith watched Joanne’s pensive face. Something wasn’t right. Judith had confirmed her suspicions by telling Emily earlier she had noted the same peculiarities in Joanne.
“Tell me of your plans for Lord Draven… Are you making any grounds toward settling his dispute with Father?”
Emily squirmed uneasily. She loved Judith, but speaking about seducing a man she wasn’t married to in front of her religious sibling was not something she relished.
Judith patted her hand. “Judge not lest ye be judged. Have no fear of my censure, little sister. I am here tonight as your blood confident. Tomorrow you may confess your sins to Father Geoffrey.”
Emily smiled at Judith. “Well, there isn’t much to report, in truth. Draven hides from me every chance he gets.”
“Have you sought him out?” Joanne asked.
“I have tried, but he’s very good at hiding.” Emily sighed. “Tell me, how did you get Niles alone?”
“I didn’t.” Biting her lip, Joanne refused to meet their gazes. “Remember the night Father went to Cromby?”
Emily nodded.
“Niles came looking for him. You were abed with a headache, and he plied me with wine while we waited for Father to return.”
Judith gasped. “Joanne—”
“Sh,” Joanne said, cutting off her words. “I never told either of you the whole truth. I was too afraid you would tell Father and trap me here forever.”
A wave of apprehension went through Emily. “I don’t understand.”
Joanne leaned her head back in the chair and looked up at the ceiling. “I didn’t know what I was doing.” Her voice shook from pent-up tears. “Niles led me to the pantry off the main hall. My head was spinning from the wine and his kisses were wondrous. I’d never been kissed before.”
Emily swallowed at the memory of Draven’s lips on hers. If Niles’ kiss had been anything like that, she could imagine how her sister’s head had been turned.
Joanne lowered her head and rubbed her brow with her hand.
“And then he started touching me in places where no man had touched before. Oh Em, Jude, I was scared and confused, and I didn’t know what to do.
I told him nay, but he kept on, and I was too terrified to call out lest someone find us there and blame me for it. ”
“What are you saying, Joanne?” Judith asked.
“Did he force you?” Emily demanded.
Tears streamed down her face, but she wiped them away. “Not exactly. I was curious too, but...”
“But?” they asked in unison.
Joanne sobbed. “It hurts so much when a man takes you.”
Emily was horrified. “But you said—”
“I know what I said. I was afraid to tell you the truth.”
Emily left the bed and gathered Joanne into a tight hug. For several minutes she held onto her, letting her sob until she was spent.
Judith wet a cloth and brought it to them, then helped dry Joanne’s tears.
When Joanne had regained some of her composure, she grabbed Emily’s hand. “Please, Em,” she whispered. “Don’t make my mistake. I’m no longer sure if life with Niles would be better than life here with father. In fact, I wish I’d listened and never courted any man.”
Emily squeezed her hand back.
“It’s just jitters, isn’t it?” Judith asked. “You’re just afraid of leaving here tomorrow?”
Joanne swallowed. “I guess.”
Emily knelt before her chair. “You don’t have to marry him, Joanne. You know that. Father will understand.”
“But the guests—”
“Won’t care,” Emily interrupted. “They came for free food and drink and they’ve been served.”
“Emily!” Judith chastised. “How discourteous of you. I’ve never heard you say such before.”
Emily inclined her head sharply to Joanne to let Judith know what she had said she had said for the benefit of their older sister.
Joanne pulled back and stared into Emily’s eyes. “Promise me you won’t let Lord Draven take your virginity.”
Emily frowned. “What?”
“I don’t want him to hurt you, Em. You can’t imagine what it feels like when a man buries himself in you. And they don’t stop, not even when you cry from the pain.”
Emily sat stunned as Joanne’s words sank into her. Surely if Joanne was right, Christina and Alys would have told her?
Wouldn’t they?
Either way, she knew something needed to be done about the coming wedding. “I don’t want you to marry Niles.”
Joanne looked at her aghast. “But—”
“Nay,” Emily said firmly, “we shall go to father and—”
“Em, I’m with child.”
Emily closed her eyes and held her sister’s hand tightly. If she didn’t marry Niles, Joanne would be ruined. The child would be stigmatized.
God help them, it would ruin both lives.
“Then let us pray,” she whispered. “Surely God knows what is best.”
Draven leaned against the crenelated wall and stared at the moonlight dappling on the moat far below. The late-night wind blew a chill through the air, but he didn’t feel it.
His thoughts were on a winsome maid with hair of gold and eyes of dark green.
He heard footsteps to his right.
Glancing, he did a double take as he saw Emily approach as if his thoughts had summoned her. “Emily?”
She offered him a timid smile as she paused by his side and duplicated his pose of folding her hands and leaning on her arms against the stone wall. “I thought I would find you here, milord.”
Draven didn’t bother making an excuse. She had learned weeks ago that he haunted the parapets at night like a troubled spirit seeking redemption.
“I fear I couldn’t sleep if I had to. Simon snores like a charging boar.”
She laughed, but he noted the hint of sadness in her eyes.
“What troubles you, milady?”
“I need someone to talk to and there’s no one here I can trust.”
He didn’t know why her words surprised him so. But they did. “You trust me?”
“Aye, I do.”
For the first time in his life, he actually felt gallant as a swell of pride beat through him. “What do you need?”
“Why did you hit Niles?”
The tenderness fled as anger took root in his heart. So, she didn’t trust him after all. Instead, she had to have a reason for his actions. “That’s—”
“Don’t’ be angry,” she said, interrupting him. “I am not fault finding here. My sister has told me things that make me doubt his character. From what I know of you, ‘tis not like you to strike for no cause.”
“Your father swears otherwise.”
She gave him a peeved glare the likes of which he’d not received since he lived with his own father.
“I am not my father,” she said coldly. “I have spent nigh on three months with you now and I think I can judge your mettle on my own. Now tell me why you struck him.”
Draven clenched his teeth. His first instinct was to remain silent, but somehow he found the truth coming out. “Montclef insulted your family.”
“My family? I find it hard to imagine you would defend my father.” She paused, then looked at him. “Niles insulted me, didn’t he?”
Draven didn’t answer.
Emily reached out and touched his right hand where he had a single bruise over his knuckles from their fight. A chill went up his spine at the contact. “You’re hurt.”
“Montclef has a hard head.”
She gave a short laugh. And then he made the mistake of looking at her. Gentleness, warmth and concern met his gaze. He felt as though someone had just struck him in the gullet.
What would it be like to see that look for the rest of his life?
“Can I ask you something that is awkward and embarrassing, but ‘tis something I really need to know?”
Alarms went off in his head. He felt like a rabbit trapped by a pack of wolves. “If you must...”
She nodded. “Before I ask, I want you to know that this is not part of my attempt to get you to marry me. This is simply one friend to another.”
Curious and wary, he cocked his head. That voice was back in his head telling him to run as fast as his legs could carry him.
But like a fool, he didn’t move.
“One friend to another. Very well, milady, ask away.”
“Does it hurt when....”
Draven waited, but she said nothing more. Instead, she looked as if she might be blushing and she refused to meet his gaze.
“Does it hurt when what?” he prompted.
“Does it hurt when you—” and then her words were lost behind the hand she rubbed over her lips.
“I didn’t understand that last bit.”
She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “Does it hurt when a man enters a woman.”
He couldn’t have been more stunned had she reached out and slapped him. Worse was the image in his mind of her lying naked beneath him as he did what she so boldly said.
“I think I liked the hand gibberish better.”
“Draven, please,” she begged. “I am embarrassed enough. Please don’t make it any worse. I didn’t know who else to ask. ‘Tis not something one goes around with.”
“I should hope not.”
“Well?” she asked.
“Why do you want to know?”
“I cannot say, but it is important.”
He rubbed his hand over his face. If he didn’t know better, he’d swear she was after him again, but the concern in her eyes was proof she really needed an honest answer.