Chapter Seventeen #2
Tearing his gaze off Margo, Hawkeye saw the laughter in Bear’s eye. “It’s not what you think.”
“I did notice you didn’t come to the bunkhouse last night.” Bear flicked the piece of hay into the grass. “Margo is fitting right in. She’s a beauty, don’t you think?”
It didn’t take a genius to figure out where Bear was headed. “Sure is, but so what?”
“I also noticed how you ‘bout broke that cowboy’s neck at Oscar’s because he’d come onto her a little too strong.”
“I was only protecting her. Men need to understand how to treat a woman. Keep his hands to himself unless she invites him to touch.” Hawkeye stretched his arms high above his head, easing the ache in his shoulders.
“You mean like you were with her. Practically licking her on the dance floor,” Bear said without apology. “Did she ask for it?”
“I guess you have a point but it’s different.”
“Yeah? Because you have feelings for her?”
“Like you have feelings for Aasia?” The teasing could go in both directions.
“You’re full of shit. I don’t have feelings for her. She and I are just friends.”
“There wouldn’t be anything wrong if you did like her, buddy. She’s smart. Beautiful. Kind.”
“And she’s engaged.” Bear readjusted himself on the bale of hay, his gaze moving to the crowd. “Anyway, she wouldn’t want a man like me, not when she’s marrying into riches.”
“You’re smart enough to know that money doesn’t keep a relationship afloat. I overheard a bit of her conversation with you last night. She doesn’t seem so happy with Barley.”
“Bentley. His name is Bentley.”
Hawkeye shrugged and took a draught from his beer. “Same difference.”
“You heard us talking?” Bear lost all his smile.
“Don’t worry. I wasn’t snooping. Just what I gather you’ve been there for her, and she appreciates it.”
Bear looked up at the sky as if looking for answers. “There’s a fine line between friendship and being lovers. We haven’t crossed that line, but damn…sometimes I want to do bad things with her.”
Hawkeye chuckled. “I understand.” His gaze traveled to Margo again. She was no longer with Carsen. She was now talking to a couple of cowboys who seemed very interested in what she was saying.
“She won’t stay single long. You know how men are around these parts.”
Hawkeye knocked back another swig of beer.
“I know I deserve happiness as well as the next son-of-a-gun. Look at Sharp. We both know he never thought he’d be married and be a father to one, let alone another on the way.
But look at him.” Hawkeye pointed with his bottle. “Best damn husband and father ever.”
CaDee and Sharp were dancing slowly. He wore his pride like a badge. She wrapped her arms around him and stood on the tips of her toes to whisper something in his ear. He laughed and then planted a kiss on her forehead.
Something kicked up in Hawkeye. Not jealousy. Never. He was happy for Sharp. Maybe a bit of envy. Who couldn’t look at the loving couple and not wish for something similar? They were in love and had a great family.
Hawkeye wouldn’t mind having a family.
Hell, where’d that revelation come from?
Bear snorted. “They fuckin’ do put a new spin on happiness. Big old rough and tough Sharp is an ol’ softy when CaDee’s around. Can’t say I ever saw it coming until I saw them together the first time. Then it all made sense.”
“Think you could see yourself in something like that?”
Bear grinned. “Yeah, I think I could.”
“So finally, you admit it. Bout freakin’ time.” Hawkeye laughed. “Maybe we’re maturing and seeing a different way of life.”
“That’s just it, man. I don’t know the first thing about what a healthy relationship looks like.
My dad hit the bricks before I was out of diapers and Ma had brought in more daddy-uncles than I could keep track of.
Connecting with my feelings is just another way of saying I don’t break the jaw of half the assholes I meet on the daily.
A woman like Aasia needs a man that can be soft when needed. ”
“Don’t be so damn hard on yourself. You can’t say you aren’t cut out for it until you’ve tried.”
“What about you? Think you could be the man that she needs?”
“Margo?”
“Yeah, Margo.”
“That’s a lot to digest.” Hawkeye swiped his hand down his smooth face. He’d decided to shave that morning although he already had a layer of whiskers. “I’m supposed to be protecting her, not sleeping with her.”
“Did you tell her that staying overnight with her was part of the job?” Bear laughed.
Hawkeye couldn’t even think of a comeback. He knew there were pros and cons to following his attraction. She was exactly the type of woman that caused an internal upheaval. Yet, what could he offer? A fun time until she was safe.
Bear passed him another beer. “Don’t overthink it.”
Hawkeye scowled. “Live by your own words.”
“Hard to think we’ve come so far. Think Sharp really likes the idea that CaDee is starting a wedding business?”
“He loves her. He wants to support and encourage things that make her happy. So, hell yea. He’s on board.”
Bear wore a look of shock. “I guess you’re right.”