Chapter 38 – Elias
ELIAS
Ileft the common room shortly after we rounded off patrol. I didn’t mean to stalk Azaria, but these days she marched out of the palace the moment the day’s duties were done, so I couldn’t take chances. The moment she left, I followed, backed by the silent, encouraging nods of the others.
I didn’t need Quinton or Dain to tell me Azaria was spiraling.
The entire squad saw it. From the moment she stepped out of the recovery ward two weeks ago, she hadn’t been herself.
Something inside her had snapped, shattering whatever light and softness she carried and replacing it with shadow and emptiness.
Quinton felt it most, and it dragged him down with her. He told me his magic had grown more restless than normal, especially these last few days. He didn’t say it outright, but I knew it was becoming physically painful because of whatever connection his blood magic had forged with Azaria.
So I did what had to be done. Maybe asking Azaria to talk about a lover lost to abyssal magic wasn’t the wisest idea I’d ever had, but if Eris was the kind of man who could spare an enemy on the battlefield, then maybe the same empathy could make Azaria lower her walls.
Just for a little while. Just enough for that softness to slip through again.
I didn’t need much. Just enough for her to start doubting the shadows consuming her. Enough for me to keep my head attached to my shoulders.
I walked down the familiar path along the river, past the neat row of houses, and stopped at the very last one. No lamps glowed in the windows, but it was still fairly bright outside. I took a breath, stepped forward, and knocked.
Nothing. A couple of heartbeats passed. I was almost ready to knock again when the door opened. Azaria stood there. Her face was blank, but I caught the ripple of annoyance in her eyes.
“Hi, Azaria,” I started gently.
She didn’t return the greeting. “What are you doing here, Elias?” She asked, low, level, and guarded.
“I just wanted to talk for a moment, that’s all.” I kept it light, unthreatening.
She looked at me for a long beat, jaw tight. I thought she’d shut the door in my face. Instead, she stepped aside, opening it wider without a word.
I slipped inside, pulling off my shoes at the door. Azaria didn’t allow boots or shoes in the house. I’d made sure to remember that detail. No sense in agitating her more than necessary. I liked my head where it was.
The house was just as I remembered: the small sitting room with the unlit hearth, a narrow bar cabinet tucked in the corner, and further back, the dining room and kitchen. Nothing out of place; everything neat and clean.
She didn’t offer me a seat, but I took one anyway. She stayed by the window, arms crossed, dressed down from her uniform into softer clothes. I wondered, briefly, if I’d interrupted her rare attempt at peace. Well, too late now.
“You’ve spent very little time with the squad lately,” I began.
Her shoulders stiffened. The way she crossed her arms turned harsher, more defensive. “I’m busy. If you came here to give me a lecture, Elias, you can leave now.”
I swallowed, but didn’t stop. “Kael and Reyna were talking about him the other day. About Eris.”
Her voice dropped, low and dangerous, colder than I’d ever heard it. “I suggest you stop talking. Right now.”
I almost laughed at myself. This is how I die. “I recognized him,” I said quickly. “We met on the battlefield. During the war.”
That caught her off guard. She froze, her mask faltering just slightly.
I pressed on. “We fought. Water against water. He beat me badly. But he spared me. I never forgot his face.” I turned toward her. “I was hoping you could tell me more about him.”
That threw her. I could see the war raging behind her eyes, whether to curse me and throw me out or give me something. She shifted, uncomfortable.
“You mentioned once that this team had lost people,” I said more gently. “Was it him you meant? Eris?”
The almost imperceptible tremble of her lips told me she was thinking about him right then. She swallowed, then carefully asked, “Where… where did you fight him?”
Progress.
“South-eastern side of the current Thalor ravine. Around the midline. He was leading a squad, I think, but he fought me one on one,” I answered, remembering every detail.
Eris could have ended me easily. His power dwarfed mine. The duel was so one-sided it was embarrassing. But he spared me nonetheless.
Azaria nodded slightly, still not looking at me. Then, so quietly I almost missed it: “Yes. It was him.”
Some might think balancing this conversation on a knife’s edge was laughable. We were both adults, both scarred by war and politics. Surely Azaria could handle a simple talk?
But Azaria wasn’t herself. She was a wounded animal. Someone with nothing left to lose, and that is the most dangerous state for a human being. That’s how you lose people to the dark.
So I pressed gently. “Will you tell me about him?”
She was quiet for a moment, then shook her head. “No. I don’t think there’s any point in talking about this anymore.”
She uncrossed her arms, ready to walk away. I didn’t let her. “He mattered to you, though. I think there’s every point in talking about him. People should know more about who he was.” I met her eyes. “Do you think he deserves to be forgotten?”
Yes, I knew it was a low blow. She thought about Eris every single day. She wore his uniform, wore the ring he gave her. Dangerous move. Shitty move. But my head was still attached, wasn’t it?
Understandably, she bared her teeth at me, eyes dark with violence. “He will never be forgotten.”
I kept her stare, nodding calmly. “So… he mattered.”
Her chest rose and fell, fighting the weight inside her. The silence stretched long enough that I thought she’d walk away. But then she took one breath, then another, and finally said softly: “Yes. He mattered to me. More than anything.”
“Tell me,” I asked her. “Please.”
She walked slowly toward the cabinet. Pulled out a dark spirit, whisky by the smell of it, and poured two glasses. She carried both back and handed me one.
She drank from her own glass almost immediately. Not a glass for pleasure. For ballast. I took a sip in solidarity and waited.
She sat on the far corner of the sofa, eyes fixed on the cold hearth. Then, finally, she began.
“Eris joined the squad shortly after Kael. He’d originally applied for Captain Rylen’s wing, but they decided between them he should come to me instead.
Rylen never told me beforehand, and I didn’t enjoy being put in the dark like that.
I was newly appointed then, the youngest captain in history, assigned to a neglected district.
Woman, no magic. Tensions were high.” Her jaw clenched.
“I was angry at Rylen. Angry in general, because that same day Veshar showed up at the training ring, sneering at Dain and Kael. In less than two bells, the entire palace knew.”
In all those years, nothing had changed. Not the council, and certainly not Veshar.
“I brought Eris back to our common room and he just… settled,” she went on. “Like he’d always belonged. Rose to Kael’s antics, worked through code and reports with Dain. People in Tempest instantly liked him.”
Her voice stayed careful, but there was the faintest trace of warmth beneath it.
“Kael mentioned Eris was a strong, experienced mage. He fought in the war, I gather?” I asked.
“Yes. He fought alongside his father, though not in the same squad. His father served under my mother, while Eris was assigned to the water unit. He wasn’t in the field long, but long enough to gain experience.”
I nodded. “I could tell he wasn’t just a grunt. He overpowered me without breaking a sweat.” I gave a dry chuckle. “Just how strong was he?”
Azaria hesitated, then answered. “He could summon water from an entire lake and raise a tidal wave with a flick of his wrist. I’d say his magic was at least on par with Teyren, Rylen’s second. Perhaps stronger.”
No wonder he’d handed me my arse in less than a minute.
Commanding the mass of an entire lake was something only the highest, most powerful mages could manage.
The physical strain alone would break most people.
And remembering the portraits, remembering him on the battlefield, Eris had carried enough strength in his frame to bear it.
She was giving me the facts, the truths. But not the one I wanted. “What was he like?”
Azaria drew a slow breath. “Steady. Unshakeable. The sort of person who anchored you to reality, who gave you clarity the moment he stepped into a room. He saw through everyone, and when faced with a problem, he never looked at the obvious. He always searched for another angle, the one nobody else would have considered.” She paused.
“He was so calm all the time… it would have driven a madman insane, but it was infectious.”
“Is that how it felt to you?” I asked.
She took a shaky breath. “Yes. He saw right through me before we even reached the doors of the wing. It was unnerving. I’d spent my whole life guarding myself so closely, and suddenly I was surrounded by people who could see everything I wanted to hide.
I felt exposed, which only made me guard myself harder, but… ” she trailed off.
So, Eris took one look and saw a real woman underneath, and that rattled her.
“But you felt seen. Truly seen,” I finished for her.
“Yes, Eris saw me. And it was…” She faltered, then pushed on.
“I felt a pull toward it. Toward the calm and clarity he offered. He knew everything about me. I told him about my past: the deaths I caused, the blood on my hands, the nightmares that wouldn’t let me go.
I fully expected him to walk away. But he didn’t.
What I said only made him stay closer. He saw my pain and didn’t run from it.
He met me head-on, helped me through it. ”
“We trained every morning: sword fights, artifact attunement, and during that time I wanted to be closer to him. More and more. I wanted him.”