Chapter 67 – Azaria
AZARIA
The next morning, before I did anything else, I went to Myrin’s office. After Quin and I had slept in and had breakfast, of course. It was close to tenth bell by the time we finally reached the palace. I told him to head straight to the training ring while I checked in with Myrin.
The healer’s wing smelled as it always did: sharp herbs, alcohol, and the faint thrum of active wards. I rapped on her door and stepped inside. She was at her desk, but the moment she saw me, she stood and strode over.
“Sit. Let me check you over.”
“I feel fine, Myrin. Whatever you and Kalias did worked wonders. I’ve never felt this alive in—gods, I don’t even remember how long.”
“That was mostly your shifter, girl,” she said as her magic swept through me.
“I felt it when I woke. What did he do exactly?”
She finished her inspection, then met my eyes. “The wolf knows. He sensed it instantly. The bi—“ She caught herself, jaw tightening. “The void.”
We both knew why she’d stopped. Speaking plainly about what lived inside me—calling it what it was—risked triggering the very thing we were trying to manage. The blood bond woven into the spell would feel it.
And of course Kalias would notice. His magic was too potent not to. Shifters could sense, could smell more than we ever gave them credit for. He knew more about me than I’d ever said aloud.
It was too late to worry about it now. He knew. Myrin knew. The circle was widening whether I liked it or not.
“Just tell me, Myrin.”
“The void was damaged. Your essence leaked through. That’s what caused the illness, the fevers, the pain. Each time your essence grew, it pressed harder against the void, and you paid for it.”
Clever woman, talking around the spell to say what needed to be said without saying too much.
“Recently the void’s started cracking. Your essence is too strong for it to hold. Kalias patched what he could, sealed the leaks, but the void itself remains. Breaking it entirely would risk killing you faster than leaving it alone.”
I drew a long breath. So, over the years, what lived inside me had grown, pressing against the cage that held it. Every fever, every ache—it was my magic bleeding through the cracks. Now, the cage couldn’t contain it anymore.
And the only ways out were impossible: Torven willingly releasing me, which would never happen, or one of us dying.
I’d known the void was killing me. Darkness had confirmed it twice now. But hearing the mechanics laid bare, hearing that it was cracking, that Kalias’s patch was all that stood between me and the next fatal surge?—
That made it harder to ignore.
“How long?” I asked quietly.
Myrin’s jaw tightened. “I don’t know. Could be days. Could be weeks if you’re careful. The next major surge after the patch fails—“ She didn’t finish.
I nodded once. Worrying wouldn’t change it. “Understood.”
Silence stretched between us. Then Myrin’s expression shifted—less healer, more friend.
“You need to speak with him,” she said quietly.
I didn’t need to ask who. “Dain.”
She nodded.
I leaned back against the edge of the bed, crossing my arms. “What exactly do you want me to say, Myrin? ’Oh, by the way, Dain—I’m dying’?”
Her eyes narrowed, the kind of look that could gut a recruit. “If you think he doesn’t already suspect something, you’re a fool. He’s been watching you longer than anyone. Every fever, every collapse—you think he hasn’t pieced it together?”
My jaw clenched. She wasn’t wrong. But saying it out loud, seeing his face, would break me.
“He deserves the truth,” Myrin pressed, softer now. “More than anyone.”
“I know.” My voice barely carried. “It will break him, Myrin. I can’t do that to him.”
“So watching you fall to your death one afternoon will be easier for him?”
“Myrin—“
“No, girl. Tell your Shadow, or I will.”
My head snapped up. She wasn’t bluffing. “You won’t.”
Her eyes glittered. “Does Tywin know?”
I hesitated. “Yes. But he doesn’t know it’s killing me.”
She cursed under her breath. “Now that I know what it is, I can research. Maybe there’s a way to weaken it or slow it down. I swear on my healer’s oath, Azaria—I will fix this.”
She wouldn’t. We both knew it, but I thanked her anyway.
“I don’t want to think about impending doom right now. Not when I feel this good.” I stretched, trying to shake the weight off.
Myrin snorted. “Yes, well, a relationship with the Thornvale boy certainly invigorates you.”
My face went hot. Myrin laughed outright. “Gods, is that a blush? I’ve never once seen you blush, Azaria Sylvenhart. I ought to note it in your health records.”
“Don’t you dare. My father would barge in with another lecture about sex and how I’m leaping from one bed to another.”
Her laughter cut short, eyes narrowing. “He looked into my notes?”
“More than once. He wouldn’t have known certain things otherwise.”
The way she stared at me? I may as well have signed Theran’s death sentence. Best to make my escape.
“Thank you, Myrin,” I said, and meant it.
“Go, girl. And if anything happens, bring your wolf.”
“I don’t think leaving him behind is possible anymore,” I muttered with a smile, then left the wing.