25. Lucas
LUCAS
T he show was impressive this year. These things could be incredibly tedious, but I was enjoying myself quite a bit. Whether that was due to a well put on show or the brunette I had tucked beside me, I couldn’t say, though I had my suspicions.
Olivia and I had taken turns speaking to vendors that interested us. All the while, I kept her hand snuggly tucked in mine. It was as if now that I had her; I didn’t want to let her out of my sight.
Plus, she seemed so surprised I had shared our updated status with anyone. Too surprised for my liking. Like she’d expected me to hide her away like a dirty secret.
If I was being logical, I could understand. I’d told her getting involved would jeopardize Alessi Construction.
But I wasn’t being logical.
She’d flipped a switch in my brain and now I just wanted to live in her space as much as possible. Which meant other people would see us. And I didn’t like the idea of her finding that odd.
We were coming up on the booth of a company that recreated vintage decor pieces. Right up Liv’s alley. I saw the moment she noticed the company and what they did. She turned to me with giant eyes and started bouncing on her toes.
“Lucas! This is amazing. Look at that insanely weird cat lamp! I need to go talk to them.”
She started to drop my hand and walk away when I tugged her back to me.
“I’ll come with.”
She leveled me with a stare that I’m sure she thought was intimidating.
“You’ve been with me all day and waited through a million boring conversations. Why don’t you go find food and meet me back here? Oh! Look, there’s a booth right over there giving away soft pretzels. Please Lucas? I need sustenance.”
It was so dangerous how easily she could persuade me to do what she wanted.
“Fine. I’ll be back with pretzels.”
“I look forward to it.”
She flashed me a bright smile before popping up on her toes to plant a kiss on my cheek. Then she turned and practically skipped up to the booth, throwing me another kiss over her shoulder on the way. I watched her for a moment, soaking her up from a distance, before heading toward the pretzels.
The booth in question was a designer rain gutter vendor. It was the type of thing Alessi got into, making our builds more high end. Today though, listening to the salesperson drone on about how advanced the technology of these rain gutters was, I couldn’t muster the interest.
Suddenly a tall blonde appeared at my side, cracking gum between her teeth. She looked familiar, but my efforts to place her got interrupted when she spoke.
“This really goes to show you I will do anything for food.”
I huffed out a laugh as the salesperson elaborated on ground spouts. She turned to look up at me and gave me a curious look, like she might recognize me too.
“Do I know you?”
“I was thinking the same, actually. Lucas Alessi.”
“Oh, my god! Lucas! I should have known. You look just like your sexy brother.”
It was finally clicking. This was purple hard hat lady. The woman who’d visited Helen’s home with Olivia. I couldn’t remember Liv ever mentioning her name, though. I offered my hand in greeting.
“I’m Callie.”
She said it like I should know more based on that simple introduction, but this woman seemed overly friendly, so I chalked it up to that.
“Right. You visited Helen’s place with Olivia.”
“Yes! And after seeing it, I think it’s going to be great for the show. You are all doing amazing work there.”
“For the show?” I hedged.
What show?
“Well, we initially feared that the progress wouldn’t line up with our ideal production schedule. It looks like it’s going to work out nicely, though. ”
What was this woman talking about? Liv had mentioned nothing about a show. Who was this lady and what hadn’t Liv told me?
“Right… well, that’s good,” I mumbled. I couldn’t get my bearings. Should I be trying to end this conversation? Hunting Liv down and demanding answers? Trying to get them from Callie? My head was spinning.
“It’s so exciting! I’m really pumped to switch things up in this space. Netflix is going to have the only show with someone in her demographic, doing work this way.”
Was this a show about Olivia?
“What way is that?” I asked, feeling more sick with every word Callie spoke.
“Oh, you know, a single lady, working with contractors and buzzing around on her own. Very nineties girl power.”
I was in complete free fall. This woman had offered Olivia her own show. That was huge. It would entirely change Olivia’s life. It sounded like the opportunity of a lifetime. One that sounded like it hinged on Olivia appearing as a single, independent woman.
One that she didn’t tell me about. Why didn’t she tell me about this? She’s clearly known for a long time. It sounded like this show’s production was fairly far along.
My mind was spinning with the implications while Callie obliviously chattered on about the show and how great Olivia was going to be.
Of course, she would be great. Olivia had a personality made for television. You could see it in her social media. She was warm and inviting, non threatening with just the right amount of spice .
Would she lose this opportunity if they found out we were dating? I seemed like the worst possible candidate for her based on what this woman was saying. I was familiar with these shows. Couple that builds and designs was a well-worn trope.
The reality of how serious this was settled in. Being with me was going to hold Olivia back. Deep down, I’d known this. And it’d been part of my resistance to get involved.
This was different, though. She was standing in front of a major opportunity. It was here right now. The idea of holding her back was no longer an abstract concept.
It was concrete and staring me right in my dumbass face.
I shouldn’t have done this. I knew it and I did it anyway.
It would have been so much easier to walk away before I knew what she tasted like. If I didn’t know what she felt like in my arms or how her breathing evened while she slept and her mouth opened in an O shape.
I always knew she’d wreck me no matter what I did. It was obvious from the moment I laid eyes on her. I knew she had the capacity to ruin my life.
It didn’t take long for me to come to a decision, because I’d been stewing about this exact problem for months. It was going to tear me apart, but I couldn’t keep her. Not when it meant she needed to settle for less. Less life. Less achievement. Less shine.
I wouldn’t do it. I’d bear the pain of missing her every day for the rest of my life to make sure she lived hers fully.
Callie turned to me, sporting a face that looked as awful as I felt, but she couldn’t have an equally terrible reason. She wasn’t about to end things with the love of her life unwillingly.
“Don’t look now, the mother is here.”
Her mother was here? That didn’t seem like a reaction one would have for their mother.
“Your mother’s here?”
“Not mine, Liv’s. See? Shit. She definitely saw me. Thank god you’re here,” she mumbled before pasting on the widest, fakest smile I’d ever seen. “Ms. Jones! How lovely to see you again.”
“Hello dear. Livvy’s TV friend, yes?”
“Yes, Livvy’s TV friend. Callie, actually. Head of East Coast Development at Netflix.”
Even through the swamp of depression my recent realization had created, Callie’s passive aggressiveness made me chuckle. She was so chipper as she dug into Olivia’s mom. Though I wasn’t exactly sure why.
“Of course, dear. I’m here with my team, getting the word out on our stellar services. We come every year we can. Though, there was that year I had the flu. Horrible case of it. I was nearly hospitalized. I did manage to send notes throughout the day, though. I pride myself on my dedication.”
My face must have been displaying utter confusion at the direction of this conversation. Callie’s had “See?” written all over it.
What the hell was this woman talking about?
Callie chose not to acknowledge anything Olivia’s mom had said. She just stared, maintaining her saccharine grin. I couldn’t take the awkwardness. I figured letting her know her daughter was nearby would alleviate things.
“Liv is a few booths back, if you want to say hello.”
“Oh, no need. I’m sure I’ll bump into her at some point,” she responded.
“Hold on. You don’t want to go say hello?” Now I was moving from confusion to anger.
Callie seemed satisfied. “Ms. Jones, this is Lucas Alessi. He’s currently working on a project with your daughter.”
“Oh! An Alessi. Wonderful to meet you. You do amazing work. We’re always interested if you ever need someone to list one of your properties.”
Liv had told me her mother wasn’t very maternal, but I hadn’t grasped the reality of what that looked like until it was staring me down in a perfectly pressed pantsuit.
“Ms. Jones, I’m sorry. Your daughter is getting a television show and working on one of the most high-profile projects in the area right now and you’d rather try to slip me your contact info than go say hello, or I don’t know, congratulate her?”
Liv’s mother seemed slightly taken aback, but not particularly offended. I realized it was because a person had to care to be offended.
“I’m sure she’s busy, what with all her recent accolades you mentioned. Excuse me, I see Dan Reeder over there. I need to see how his Alaskan cruise went. I booked mine two weeks ago.”
Olivia’s mother shot us a saccharine smile and sashayed away.
Callie quickly grabbed a soft pretzel from the table, now in front of us, and took a large bite. Through chewing, she lamented, “Now I’m going to need to go shower again.”
“Sorry, what?”
“Bad vibes. I can’t have that woman’s vibes following me around all day.”
She shivered and took another bite of her pretzel before handing me one. I couldn’t move. My brain couldn’t process everything I’d learned in the past fifteen minutes.
Callie asked where Liv was, and if I was headed back to join her.
I pointed her in Liv’s direction, but explained I was going up to the room.
We said goodbye, then Callie happily flit off to meet Liv.
As I watched them greet each other, I texted Liv to let her know I was going back to our room and to stay as long as she wanted.
Then I slowly, painfully trekked to the elevators and up to our room.
This weekend wasn’t the time to discuss the future I now knew lay in front of us.
Instead, I grabbed the remote, planning to drown my sorrows in the hotel cable until Olivia came back and I could hold her.
Until I could pretend I’d always be able to protect her from her terrible mother, heal her from losing her father, and support her incredible career.
I couldn’t do any of those things. Because I had to let her go. Even though she was mine. Actually, because she was mine.