Chapter 18
Marty
After class on Wednesday, I meet with Ash and Lance in the library. I don’t always study with them, but this week I could use a little time to concentrate, especially when I’ve had sex on the brain since Ryan and I made our agreement.
What did I get myself into?
The last thing I was expecting last Friday was to have Ryan’s lips around my cock, but I must admit, all that jealousy he felt about not being good at it was for nothing because I couldn’t even get my cock back in his mouth before I was shooting.
Shouldn’t surprise me. Ryan’s a sex god, and clearly I’m no more immune to it than any of the numerous girls he’s hooked up with.
I’ve never been the kind of guy to be obsessed with sex, but since we started kissing, it’s been like when I was thirteen and first discovered how amazing my dick could make me feel.
I’m catching up on some reading when I notice a DM notification on my phone.
Ryan: Check out this one too.
“We can take a few days to research.”
Since he blew me, we haven’t done anything more than jerking off, kissing, and him sucking me off.
But I’ve been scouring the net to find out more about anal and what that will entail.
Reading about other guys’ experiences. Meanwhile, Ryan’s been sending me clips and screenshots from gay porns he’s been watching.
He says they call it “watching film” in football.
My thumb hovers over my phone screen as I peek at Ash and Lance. Ash is focused on his phone, probably chatting with Colin. Lance seems absorbed in his reading.
I make sure the volume is turned down on my phone, since one of the links in a DM from him was loud and graphic when I opened it around some of the guys back at the house. Not making that mistake again.
I open the message, discovering a screenshot of a guy—what I guess is considered a twink—facing the ceiling, holding the headboard of a bed, suspended in the air, while a much larger, hulky guy fucks him. Under the photo, Ryan’s DM reads: This position looks fun. *devil emoji*
My cheeks heat up the way they do whenever he sends me something like this, my cock twitching. If I hadn’t already realized I was into guys, I’ve definitely realized it since he’s been blowing up my phone with these kinds of messages, making me think of the wild sort of guy Ryan is.
Although, I’m also a realist…
Me: Did you mean to send this to a gymnast you were planning to fuck?
Ryan: You can’t do that?
Ryan: Maybe I need to look for a guy who’s a little more adventurous.
Me: I’d need to work on my upper body strength to even try.
Ryan: Depends on which position you’re playing.
Me: Pretty sure for either.
Ryan: Nah. The bottom’s more about the core. *winky face*
Me: Any recommendations? Crunches? Ab rolls?
Ryan: Planks, for sure.
Me: You know I’m joking, right?
Ryan: And you know one of us has always had a sense of humor, even before we started making out…right?
I chuckle, but then quiet, looking to Ash and Lance to see if either noticed. Neither looks up, and another DM comes through.
Ryan: I’m feeling good to go on my end. You?
My thoughts scramble, my anxiety shifting gears.
Me: Good to go? Actually do this…like soon?
Ryan: Why not? I’ve been watching a lot of videos and reading subreddits. And I told you, I’ve had anal sex with a girl before. I get the gist.
I’ve hit up my share of subreddits about anal. And despite the tension in me, there’s eagerness too. What we’ve done so far has been exciting and intense. I can’t help thinking this will be too.
I chew at my bottom lip.
Me: So when would we do this?
Ryan: Tonight? You have plans?
Fuck, how is he so damn casual about everything? Especially this.
Me: I’m tempted to make some up.
Ryan: Obviously we don’t have to if you don’t want to.
Me: No, no. I didn’t say that.
I couldn’t have messaged back faster, and I wish I’d thought about that before replying because I sound desperate.
Ryan: Because you wanna fuck me?
Me: Shut it. I’m trying to figure if my core will be up for it.
Ryan: Who says you’ll be the one bottoming?
My face warms.
I can’t tell if he’s serious, but it’s something we haven’t really gotten into since our agreement—something that, as we researched, it became clear we’d need to discuss, and I guess I should bring it up now rather than dealing with the awkwardness tonight.
Me: So…since you brought it up, I figure whoever is bottoming will need to take care of things to make sure everything’s good.
Ryan: You mean douche?
I’m gonna give myself an aneurysm from this eye roll.
Me: Yeah…that’s what I meant, Mr. Subtle.
Ryan: You gonna get nice and clean for me?
Me: Do I need to?
I see that he’s typing, but then he stops, and this happens a few times before I push:
Me: I can see you typing. You’re making me anxious.
Ryan: Oh, sorry. I was trying to work out who was bottoming. I think I’d want to try that too.
Reminds me of all the things we haven’t discussed. Are we jumping into this too quickly?
Me: Maybe the fair thing is for us to switch?
Ryan: So we need to decide who will bottom first…
Ryan: I mean, I can do it, if you want me to.
Me: Honestly, I’ve been so anxious about it, I’d rather get it over with.
Ryan: How romantic for me…
I can’t believe he’s even joking about anything we’re doing being romantic.
Me: I thought a guy like you would be allergic to the word romantic.
Ryan: Well, now I know what that itch is, so I guess I don’t need another STI test. ;)
Ryan: You know that’s a joke, right?
What does he think of me that he believes I’d take that seriously?
Me: I figured as much.
Ryan: Never know with you. *winky face*
“Who are you messaging?” Lance asks.
I drop my phone, and it slams against the tabletop, earning not only Lance’s and Ash’s attention, but other students’ around us.
Ash winces. “Um…”
“You seemed awfully invested in that conversation,” Lance observes. “Was it Angie?” He grins like he knows me so well. If only he knew, Angie hasn’t been on my mind nearly as much since Ryan and I have been experimenting.
Oh, just talking to Ryan about bottoming for him tonight.
I don’t say that, but I can imagine their expressions if I did.
“It’s only Ryan,” I reveal. I’m not lying to my friends, but they also don’t need to know everything that’s been going on with me lately. Especially not what Ryan and I are talking about doing tonight.
“You’ve been texting a lot with him,” Ash says.
“How would you even know? You’ve had your face buried in your phone since I got here.” No doubt sexting with his boyfriend.
“I’m pretty observant. And I’ve noticed you guys have been getting awfully close recently.”
“What makes you say that?” I didn’t mean for it to come out so defensively, but it earns looks from both my guys.
“Last Friday night, you were hanging together, and you seemed cool.”
“Oh…yeah.”
“Things seem better since probation,” Lance adds.
Better? That’s an understatement. “He hasn’t done anything so bad.” Nope. Everything he’s done has actually been pretty great.
“That’s good,” Lance says. “Guess we just needed to get up his ass.”
Or maybe he just needed to get up in mine…
“You guys want to get together for some games tonight?” Lance asks.
“I was gonna head to bed early.” I don’t know why I’m saying it so weirdly—it’s not a strange thing—but it’s like I’m worried my buddy who knows me best will read all over my face, Because I’m planning on letting Ryan fuck me tonight.
But Lance shrugs. “Cool.”
I pick my phone back up and see a message from Ryan: I’ll be back from work around 8…
*
I prep before Ryan returns to the house, and after he gets home, he hits up the bathroom for a shower to wipe the sweat and shop smell off.
This gives me plenty of time to entertain my anxiety-ridden thoughts. I’m doing some last-minute browsing of the videos we swapped throughout the week, putting one on repeat as it shows a cock entering the guy’s ass. That’s what will be happening to me. Fuck. This is starting to feel very real.
When the water shuts off, I close the video and set my phone on my nightstand, but now I don’t have anything to do with my hands, so I look like a virgin sacrifice waiting for Ryan to come and deflower me.
Awkward.
I pick my phone back up and pull up my news app, but then I realize that’s not going to put me in the mood, so I tuck my phone in the nightstand, retrieve the box of condoms and the lube, and set them beside me.
Although, it’s not like we need a whole damn box.
I pull out part of the strip of condoms, and as I tear one at the perforation, I accidentally cut into the package, exposing the condom.
Smooth.
The door to the bathroom bursts open, the surprise jolting me, sending the box of condoms tumbling off the side of the bed. “Fuck,” I mutter as it rolls all the way to his air mattress.
Ryan stands in the doorway, his hair wet, messy, only a towel around his waist. I’m sure his towel always hangs this low, but I must admit, it’s a nice view of the ridges defining his waist, lines seeming to draw the eye down to what I know is under the towel.
He folds his arms, studying me. “Are you doing something adorable?” He winks, smirking like he’s feeling charming as fuck.
“Could you get that for me?” I ask, indicating the fallen box.
“All over it.” He retrieves the condoms and sets them on the nightstand, towering over me. “Come on, scoot.” I make room for him, and he crawls into bed, lying back on the pillow beside me, groaning. “How you feeling?”
“Honestly, fairly anxious.”
“Really?”
“I fumbled my way through prepping earlier, and then I’ve been thinking if it’s gonna hurt or if I’m gonna have a panic attack in the middle of it.”
His brows knit. “Maybe we pushed this too quickly.”
“What? No, no, no. I did not spend the day stressing and getting ready so that you can bail. Unless you want to bail.”