Chapter 34
Ryan
A week after my thumb injury, I pull up to the driveway of my parents’ place. I asked if they could meet me at the house, though from what I gather, Mom isn’t staying there anymore.
As I park alongside the curb, Marty glances over from the passenger seat. “You sure you want me to come in with you right away?”
He’s giving me one last chance to bail.
“Why? You worried they’re not gonna like you?”
“You know damn well that’s not what I’m worried about.”
“Maybe you should start worrying.”
Marty enjoys a laugh before resting his hand on my thigh, offering a gentle rub. As the knot in my gut loosens, I rest my hand on top of his.
“How do you do that?” I ask him.
“What?”
“How does the most anxiety-prone guy in Alpha Theta Mu know how to set me right at ease?”
“Not the most anxiety-prone guy in Alpha Theta Mu anymore. I mean, not technically.”
He got me there.
“Well, I want this anxiety-ridden guy to come with me,” I assure him. As much as I struggled with the news of Mom seeing a guy, I know it’s time to have this conversation. “I want them to meet you. You’re my guy now, and I’m tired of secrets. We’ve all been keeping too many of those.”
“Okay,” he says, “but should we have a code word in case things get awkward and I need to bail?”
“What kind of conversation do you think this is gonna be?”
He shrugs. “I don’t know. I haven’t met them yet.”
“It’ll be great.”
Not only because I expect my parents will be fine with me having a boyfriend, but because I know, no matter what happens in there, I have him.
It reassures me that however this evening goes, things will be just fine.
It’s something I’ve really let sink in since Marty bought me that silly protein bar. Since I realized this is my guy.
“How about…Xenomorph?” he asks.
“Huh?”
“For the code word in case things get awkward. It’s not likely to come up on its own.”
I chuckle. “Sure, why not?” It’s a funny word to use, but it does make what we’re about to do feel less heavy.
I brace myself, and we get out of my car, head up the drive together.
He doesn’t seem to know what to do with his hands.
Keeps them in his pockets one second, pulls them out the next, scratches at his shoulders.
I’ve learned this is one of the ways he shows he’s uncomfortable.
And I love noticing little things like that about him.
Things I’ve picked up because of how much time we spend together, and I’m sure he’s noticed similar things about me.
I move close, resting my hand on the small of his back, and he seems to relax.
When we reach the door, I key in the code and head inside. “Knock, knock,” I say to announce our entrance.
Some shuffling comes from the kitchen before my parents appear, greeting us in the short hall to the foyer. Their eyes go right to Marty.
I told them I was bringing someone with me but didn’t qualify it, and they didn’t ask. Maybe they just think I brought a mediator with me.
“Marty, this is my dad and my mom. Mom and Dad, this is my boyfriend.”
No hesitation. No awkward pause. Only me claiming my guy with my parents.
Marty’s lips curl upward, like he’s pleased I don’t have an ounce of uneasiness about letting them know whom he belongs to.
Mom’s jaw drops as Dad tilts his head. They stand there stunned, and Marty rubs a hand against his arm. “Nice to meet you,” he says with wide eyes and a smile.
Mom snaps out of her daze first. “Yes, wonderful.” When he extends his hand for a shake, Mom says, “If you do hugs, you might as well start now.”
He breathes a sigh of relief. “I’m fine with that.”
“But make sure you have one for me too,” Dad adds, making eye contact with me, grinning in a way that assures me he’s cool.
I never imagined my parents would be dicks about this, but it’s still a relief because fuck, that would have been awkward if his parents had been cool and mine had been a bunch of d-bags.
With the introductions out of the way, I say, “I wanted to bring him here because I wished I’d introduced him to you both sooner, but also because we all need to start sharing more about what’s going on in our lives.
Mom, if you have a guy you’re seeing, I don’t want you to feel like you have to hide that.
But I don’t like the fact that I was the last to know everything.
I’m not saying I want a blow by blow of the divorce proceedings, but I do want my parents to be my parents and to be a part of my life, whatever that looks like now. ”
Their frowns suggest their sorrow about everything that’s happened, which makes me feel like crap. “I’m not saying I blame you. It was a tricky thing to navigate, but now that things are out in the open, can we make an effort to be more transparent? And no more surprises, at least for a while?”
They exchange a look. “We can do that,” Mom says. “We’re sorry. We know this must have been a lot. It’s been a lot for us too.”
“Now, come on in,” Dad says. “The delivery guy brought extra meatballs. So I hope you came with an appetite, Mart. I can call you Mart, right?”
“Sure thing, and I love meatballs,” Marty replies.
“And I brought over a trivia game,” Mom adds. “So I hope you like games.”
“Oh, not a game,” I groan.
That’s my mom for you.
“Can you just let me know whose team to be on so I can beat him?” Marty asks. “This is one of the few things I think I could win against him with, and I want to really impress my boyfriend.”
He sneaks me a look as they burst into a laugh, cutting through any lingering tension.
“You stick with me when it comes to trivia,” Mom says, guiding him into the kitchen, and Dad sidles up beside me. “I like him already, champ.” He hooks his arm around me, tugging me close, as though to remind me he’s my dad and he cares.
We enjoy dinner, then play trivia, with Mom and Marty stomping Dad and me out. When Mom and Marty get to chatting about her trip to Europe, Dad invites me to go out on the back porch with him.
“You’re full of surprises this year, aren’t you?” he says. “I’m just happy my son’s happy, you know that, right?”
It’s not only his words, but his gentle expression that tells me the same.
“That means a lot to me, Dad.”
“I shouldn’t have pressured you so much. I did really want you to go pro, partly because I couldn’t make the cut. But I never wanted it at the expense of your happiness.”
“I knew that would be how you felt. I hesitated because I didn’t want you to feel like all those years and that money went down the drain. Like I wasted your time. Because I did want it, really bad. But things change.”
His gaze shifts, and he looks out to the yard.
“Speaking of things changing, it’s time for a confession.
I did pressure your mom to keep these secrets—the divorce and Enzo—so please don’t put any of that on her.
When we first told you, I didn’t mean to be so obvious about not wanting this.
Just…the way it all played out, and I couldn’t keep my mouth shut, but I do think you should keep in mind that since we agreed to this, your mom’s been really happy.
I mean, happy in a way I’ve never seen her before, which also makes this hard for me. ”
It’s a tough thing to hear, and I can see the heartbreak as his lip twists down, a deep sadness in his eyes.
“But,” he adds, “just because I wish things had been different doesn’t mean I don’t want that happiness for her.
Knowing she fell out of love, it’s better this way, even if it’s hard.
I don’t want anything I’ve said or done to make you feel any way about her or us other than we had a beautiful marriage together.
We were lucky enough to have an amazing kid, and it breaks my heart that you would think I would see all the time and money I spent on football with you as a waste. ”
This catches me by surprise.
“A waste of what?” he says. “How many dads can say they spent that much time with their kid? That we’d even happen to have a similar interest that would allow us to share that time?
I got to see every game and every practice.
I got to coach when you were a kid. I got to practice with you.
I will never see a moment of that as a waste. ”
He tears up, and now he’s got me all choked up, really appreciating all that time we had together. Both my parents knew how much it meant to me, and they moved heaven and earth every time an emergency or schedule change came up so that I wouldn’t miss any of it.
“I love you, champ. And in the same way that I want your mom to be happy, if football isn’t what makes you happy anymore, then you have to move on with your life, regardless of the dreams your dad was living out through you. You get that?”
Now he’s got my eyes watering.
Dammit.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to get all emotional like this.” He pats my shoulder.
“It’s good. It’s been an emotional year. And a lot of surprises, clearly.” I indicate Marty through the French doors.
Dad glances at him and then back at me. “Speaking of your new man, I do wonder about this thing they say about queer people and genetics.”
Given what we’ve been talking about, this one really throws me. “Huh?”
“Something I’ve been thinking about myself recently too. Before your mother, there was a guy in college…and we had some fun. I don’t know.”
Now I’m the one stunned into silence. Dad messed around with a guy in college?
“Wait, what?” Questions race through my brain. “How much did you mess around with this guy in college?”
His gaze wanders. “Maybe six or seven months. Just fun stuff.”
“Oh my God.” I can’t believe I’m only hearing about this now, but also, guess it’s not the kind of thing to tell your kid either.
“I’m only telling you because I might be keeping my options open now that I’m a single man. I’ve been thinking about downloading one of those apps…”
“Gross. You’re not supposed to say that to your son.”
“I thought I was supposed to be more honest.”
By the wicked glint in his gaze, he knew damn well what he was doing, but it’s definitely nice that he felt comfortable enough to share that part of himself with me. And it makes me even happier that I brought Marty over tonight.
He pulls me in for a hug. “I love you, kid. Nothing will ever change that. And when I do stupid things, just give me a kick in the ass.”
“Won’t, now that I know you might like it.”
We share another laugh before he says, “Come on. Let’s go spend some time with your man.”
We head back inside, and I settle beside Marty, resting my hand on his thigh. As he looks at me with that tender expression, the relief I’m feeling about tonight, and the conversation I had with Dad assure me that even though things might be messy for a while, I’m gonna be okay.