Chapter 11
Chapter Eleven
JAXON/JAX
Now
Measured Silence & Calm Chaos
I can stall it, soften it, redirect it, but I can’t stop what’s coming.
Standing near the pathway to this private beach, Livianna shakes her head. “I’m serious, Jaxon. Did you know Callum cheated on me with Zara?”
“No.” I stay where I am. “I asked him once if he had, and he adamantly denied it. Are you sure you have the details right?”
“I don’t know.” She’s quiet for a moment and then glances toward the ocean. “The visions seem real. They’re clear, and this pit in my gut is telling me, yes.”
I can tell by her glossy, bloodshot eyes that she’s high. She might be getting all of this wrong. But she remembered she kissed me. My chest heats.
“Livianna, are you starting to remember?” I try to hold in my elation.
She scans the area and then comes back to me. “I think I am, but only you can tell me if what I recall is real.”
“How so?”
“Did I try to kiss you on this beach?”
How do I answer this? Honestly, Jaxon.
“Yes, you did.” I tilt my head, studying her for an adverse reaction.
Tears form in her eyes. “And you rejected me. I made an ass of myself. It’s all right here in my brain.”
Oh, that’s the time she’s talking about. Not the millions of times she’s kissed me in this very spot. Does she know the Malibu house is right behind her?
“Livianna, you were barely eighteen when that happened. I was thirty-three. It wasn’t right.”
“I get it, but…” She sniffles and buries a cry. “That means I’m right. Callum did cheat.”
She collapses into herself as she weeps into her palms.
I take her in my arms and sway. “It’s going to be okay, Livianna. We’ll get this figured out.”
“How?” she murmurs into my chest. “I can’t forgive that. If he did what I think he did, I won’t be able to move past it.”
Despite what she’s going through, it’s like a dream to hold her like this again. I take a selfish minute to soothe her as she trembles in my arms.
Once she’s composed, she steps away from our embrace. “Thank you for consoling me. I appreciate it.”
“You know I’m always here if you need me.”
“Thanks.” She peeks over her shoulder and then brings her gaze back. “I need to go. Sorry.”
“I’m not letting you drive.” I retrieve my phone from my pocket. “My driver is waiting down the street. I’ll text him to pick us up, and I’ll take you home.”
“No, Jaxon. I can’t ask you to do that.”
“You didn’t ask. I offered.” I send David a message to be ready in front of the house. “He’s parked along the street. Follow me.”
I start to walk away, but she doesn’t budge. “Livianna, is there a problem?”
“Yes. I have my car, so you can go without me.”
My jaw tightens. “I wasn’t going to say this, but since it appears I need to, I will. You are not driving anywhere?—”
“Why?”
“Because you’re high, emotional, and the clouds are growing dark. The roads could get wet?—”
“Jaxon, you need to hear me now. I am not a child, so stop treating me like you’re my father.”
God, her defiance can wear on the best of men.
I step toward her, reminding myself she’s not twenty-three in her mind. She’s still operating as an eighteen-year-old.
I relax my stance. “Please, let me take you home. Cash has been looking for you. I guess you left your phone at home, and he’s in a panic that he can’t find you.”
It’s true. Cash called, screaming at me for something I had no part in. He’s stressed, and it’s showing. Of course, he knows I have a team surveilling her, so he knows I can find out where she is whenever I want.
“Why would he think you would know where I am?” She tucks her hair behind her ear. “Never mind. That doesn’t matter. I need to get home, and I don’t need you to transport me.”
“Livianna, don’t make me do this.”
“Do what?”
“Force you to do what I’m asking of you.”
Her eyes grow as large as the moon. “You wouldn’t dare.”
“I would.” I inch toward her, getting ready to confront her. “You’re high on something, and there’s no way I’ll let you get behind the wheel. So I can call Cash and have him come to get you, or?—”
“Fine, Jaxon. For fuck’s sake, fine.” She stomps off in the direction of the path that borders our fence.
I follow, half tempted to tell her I need to stop by my house first. If she saw the inside, it might trigger more of her memories. But then again, she’s already upset about Cash.
Timing, Jaxon. It’s all about timing.
We get up the sandy embankment, and she marches straight to the car. David has the back door open, waiting for us. She says something to him I can’t make out, then ducks into the vehicle.
I tip my head at David. “Thanks. We’re going to Pacific Palisades. Stop at her house first.”
“Very well, sir. Is there anything else?”
“Do we have water in the car?”
“Yes, sir. I restocked the mini-fridge this morning.”
“Thanks.” I tuck myself into the backseat and gaze at the most beautiful woman in the world. “Thank you for not fighting me on this.”
She lowers her red-rimmed eyes. “You’re welcome. I think it’s stupid, but I guess driving high is even worse.”
“It is.”
David closes the door, and we drive away not much longer. I pretend to be scrolling through my phone so Livianna can wrap her head around things. It might not be possible given her state of mind, but I know her. She needs the quiet.
Halfway back, she turns sideways in my direction. “How did you know where to find me?”
I run my hand down my freshly shaved beard. “You used to stroll down that beach every day.”
“I did?”
“Yes. Every night after work.” I let the memory wash over me.
It was our ritual. Before we did anything, she had us take a walk. She said it helped her transition from work mode to home mode.
I would tease her, but I loved it. It’s funny how much you miss something when it’s taken from you.
The story of your life, Jaxon. Stop being so pathetic about it.
She peers out the window, taking in the passing surroundings. “Why that beach?”
I stall, acting as if I’m answering a text. “One minute, Livianna.”
“Take your time.” She turns to me, tapping her finger against her leg.
I formulate the best way to put this. She’s still fragile, but her doctor said if she starts to remember something it’s okay to help her fill in the gaps. Trauma takes time to heal, and they don’t want us to push her past what she can handle.
I face her. “You rented a home from me. You were sitting next to the property, right by the fence that keeps the place secure. Your dad approved you living there because of the top-level security.”
That earns a small laugh. “He would. He’s always been my protector.”
I wait for her to process what I said. She checks out the interior as she considers whatever thought is floating through her mind.
She places her hand on my knee and gazes at me. “You let me live in one of your homes?”
“I did.” My insides heat. “You loved it there, and I had an extra house that just so happened to be in a place where you wanted to live.”
She studies me for a few seconds. “Why are you so willing to help me? All I remember about our relationship is that I used to…”
“What, Livianna? Whatever it is, just ask. No question is off-limits.”
“Off-limits.” She forces out a huff, and her face turns red. “Callum told me this morning that I can no longer be friends with one of my guy friends.”
Not the direction I was hoping we’d go, but I can’t press her. “Why?”
“He says he’s dangerous.”
The muscles in my back tighten. “Who said that?”
“Callum.” She rests against the seat. “He said I wasn’t allowed to be friends with him. Isn’t that?—”
“Who’s the man Cash is talking about?”
“Sebastian Holloway.”
“The movie star you went out with last night.” My intuition is screaming to listen to Cash’s warning. He knows things I don’t.
“Yeah. That’s him.”
“Why would Cash think that of Sebastian?”
“Do you want the long or short story?”
“Long.”
Her face screws up. “Really. Wow, I wasn’t expecting you to say that.”
She continues to explain her past with him and why Cash has hated him for kissing her. If you ask me, Cash took it easy on the guy. I’d kill him if that were me.
I adjust my watch after taking a peek at it. “Why would you go out with Sebastian if you knew it bothered Cash?”
Because she’s defiant as fuck when she wants to be.
She sighs. “Sebastian was a friend of mine. I don’t understand why we can’t put the past behind us and move forward.”
“Is that what you want? To forget the past and just move on with Cash?” I know how loaded that question is, but I need to know.
“Callum needs to learn to forgive. He’s a jealous man and always has been. I’m not blind to who he is, and I don’t want to change him, but growth is important.”
“It is.” I settle in just as my phone rattles in my lap. “Excuse me.”
“Of course.”
I answer. “Hello, Natalie. What can I help you with?”
“Hi Jaxon. I was wondering if you want me to reschedule the meetings you canceled this afternoon?”
“Please.”
“Very well.” She breathes heavily enough that I can hear it through the line.
“Is there anything else?”
“Yes. Are you with Livianna?”
My chest squeezes into an uncomfortable ball of stone. I’m not accountable to Natalie, but I understand she’s supporting me.
I glance at Livianna. “Yes. Why?”
“I figured.”
“Why would you say that?”
“Jaxon, I’ve seen all the stories about what happened last night.”
“What happened?” I furrow my brow.
“Sometimes I wish you would read the tabloids.” She clears her throat. “Cash was photographed with another woman last night. He was caught kissing the other girl.”
My stomach drops. “Are you sure?”
“Yes, I read every article.”
“Thanks, Natalie. Is there anything else?”
“No.”
“Great. Have a good evening.” I don’t wait for the reply.
Livianna stares at me from where she’s propped up against the corner of the seat. “You went pale. Is everything okay?”
I swallow hard. “Have you been online at all today?”
“No.” She sits straighter. “Why?”
I shake my head, knowing I can’t lie to her. “It’s… Livianna, have you talked with Cash about last night?”
“Yes. That’s what our entire fight is about.”
“Then you’ve seen the photos?”
“No.” Her eyes narrow. “Why?”
Fuck!
I do not want to be involved in this. It’s just going to seem like I fed the information to her to get her angry with Cash.
“Jaxon, tell me what you know.” She scoots closer. “What was that call about?”
“First, you need to tell me about this argument.”
Her face sets into a deep frown. “He’s jealous that I was out with Sebastian.”
“Why?”
“There are pictures of us leaving the restaurant together, but we planned it. We knew they were out there waiting, so we gave them a fake story.” She lowers her head. “I don’t want the world to know I’m engaged yet, so we made it look like we were on a date.”
I pull back and peek at her bare left ring finger. “Why don’t you want them to know?”
“Once they find out, they’ll try to sabotage our relationship.” Her eyes well up again. “They hate me and love him. I just want to enjoy it and keep it precious for a while.”
My heart aches for her. She used to tell me how bad the media was to her. I believed her, but I never saw it affect her until now.
I hold my arms open. “If you want, I’ve got a hug waiting for you.”
“Thanks, but I’m fine. I’m used to it.”
I lower my arms with my insides bleeding raw for her. “Was there anything else you two were fighting over?”
“Um…” She fiddles with the handle of her purse. “Not exactly.”
“Anything you feel safe sharing?”
“Not right now. It’s nothing that won’t pass.”
“I have something we need to discuss about Cash.” I run my hands down my thighs.
Her breathing picks up. “What about him?”
“It’s about the stories in the tabloids.” I brace myself for her reaction. She may go through the roof.
“Jaxon, what do you know?”
“Cash was…caught in a compromising position. There are images circulating on the internet.”
Her mouth gapes. “What kind of pictures?”
“I haven’t seen them myself.”
“Then how do you know?” She’s fire-red now, her breathing fast and strong.
This information is going to send her into the deep end. She already remembers he cheated on her with Zara, if that memory is even true. Cash swore to me he never cheated on Livianna with Zara.
I lift my phone. “Natalie just told me.”
Livianna throws down her open palm. “Let me see for myself.”
“How?”
She raises her eyebrows. “You have access to whatever bullshit is floating out there. Hand over your phone.”
I know this Livianna. If I don’t, she’ll become activated in a way that won’t end well.
I open my phone and give it to her. “I haven’t seen anything, so I don’t know where to?—”
She gasps, already reading an article. A picture of Cash and a woman kissing is front and center.
“Is this who he is now?” Her hands shake, and she peeks up at me. “Is Callum like this all the time?”
“I don’t know. We’re…” What the fuck are we? We’re more than business partners, but I wouldn’t call us friends. “We’re friendly business allies.”
“You two hang out more than business partners would.”
“I’m with you more.” I let that hang in the air.
If she’s near a full memory return and I can move that along, I’m all in. She continues to scour the web, huffing and puffing.
Where I thought she would fall apart, she’s just growing hostile. By the time we get to her house, she’s about to claw my face off just so she can take out her anger on someone of the male species.
We pull into her driveway, and she tries to open the door before we’ve stopped. I wrap an arm around her waist to hold her steady.
“Let me go.” She tries to wiggle free. “I have a bone to pick with someone.”
“Livianna, stop. The car is still moving.”
“Ugh…” She pushes against me, and the car parks. “Now, can I get out?”
Before I release her, I give her something to consider. “You said the media has never been good to you. Give Cash a chance to explain.”
She whips around, madder than a hornet. “You’re on his side? He’s a cheater.”
“You don’t know that.”
“Then why is that how I remember him?”
I sit back. “I don’t know, but I know he loves you more than he loves himself.”
It’s true. I know by the way he stares at her. She’s his world. I recognize it because it’s how I feel myself.
Confusion covers her expression. “I know he does, but…”
The door opens, and Cash stands peering in. “Of course, that’s where you’ve been. It’s always Jaxon.”