Chapter 16
Chapter Sixteen
LIVIANNA/LILY
Now
Loud Places and Quiet Worries
I chase it to the edge, but it disappears before I catch it.
“I’m fine, Lily.” Callum pushes himself upright against the headboard, both palms pressing into the mattress. “I just fell asleep.”
“You just fell asleep.” I stay near him at the side of the bed, arms crossed over the front of the dress I put on two hours ago. “While I called you four times and texted more than that.”
He doesn’t immediately answer. The color in his face is still wrong, and there is a dampness along his hairline that the room’s temperature doesn’t explain.
He stands with the kind of deliberateness people use when they are not entirely sure the ground will hold.
“I’ve had a long week.” He drags a hand through his hair. “The construction and the label demands have been relentless. I laid down for a minute and went out harder than I meant to.”
“Callum.” I stare into his eyes. “Look at me and tell me you’re not sick.”
He finds my gaze. The silence stretches a beat too long.
“I’m fine.” He draws an X over his heart. “I swear to you. Cross my heart and everything like that.”
The tightness in my chest loosens, not all the way, but enough. “You need to eat something before you do anything else.”
“Yeah, probably.” He scans over me and confusion covers his expression. “Were you going somewhere tonight?”
“We have plans with the band.” I turn and start to leave. “You need some water. I think you might be dehydrated.”
The hallway is two steps away when he stops me in my tracks.
“You’re gorgeous, Lily.”
I face him. “Thank you, handsome.”
“And you’ve been inside your own head for weeks. I can see it every time you come home from work.”
“Callum.” I keep one hand on the doorframe. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“You’re all up in your head, stressed out and restless.” He pushes to his feet and crosses toward where I’m standing. “We’re going out tonight, and you’re gonna relax.”
The tension in my chest begins to ease. He’s right about one thing. I have been wound up.
He tilts his head toward the hallway. “Go get some water, and then let’s go.”
“Finally, but you’re driving.” I sway to the kitchen and get him a bottle of water.
He follows. “I always drive. That’s the rule.”
“Rule?” I flash him a sinful smile. “Aren’t those made to be broken?”
“Ah, I see you’re in one of those moods.” He takes the water from me.
“And what mood would that be?” I pop my hip out as I push my breasts toward him.
“That kind.” He places the bottle down and takes me in his arms. “Wanna have a quickie?”
“As much fun as that sounds, we’re already late. We were supposed to have dinner with them.” I give him a quick peck. “Plus, I’m itching to get out. I can’t remember the last time I did.”
“That’s a relief.”
I step out of his arms. “Why?”
He kind of squints. “Um… We went out to a place called Trax. We ran into some idiots, and they ruined our night.”
“Oh! That’s the night Sebastian told me about.” I try to pull the memory forward, but nothing comes. “Well, it sounds like it wasn’t a night worth remembering.”
Callum’s jaw works as if he’s holding back from saying something. I don’t want to ruin the night, so I drop it and leave the kitchen.
“Let’s go, rockstar. This girl wants a drink.”
“Let me find my song notebook.” He glances around as his expression deepens into concern. “Where the fuck did it go?”
I stop in the foyer. “Where did you have it last?”
“Right here on the couch.” He flips the cushions over, peeks under them, and growls. “It was here before I fell asleep.”
Knowing how Callum feels about his creations, I don’t press him to forget about it. He’ll be more fun if he has what he wants.
I let him tear the room apart while I go into the bedroom. The notebook is sitting on the nightstand.
“Callum, it’s in here.” I grab it and stride down the hall with my head held high. “See, you need me.”
“Never a question about that.” He takes it from me, relief melting from his face. “Nice. Thanks.”
I flash him a warm smile. “Can we go now?”
“Yeah.” He grabs his keys and phone off a hallway table on our way out. “The view from here is divine.”
I’m leading him out the front door. “Someone is flirting.”
“Every day, love. Every day.”
We get into his silver speedster.
He beams when he gets in. “I fucking love this car.”
“I know, but I thought you weren’t going to drive it anymore.”
“It was just sitting in the garage all lonely and sad.” He revs the engine. “I had to get her out. She needs some attention.”
“Your car isn’t alive, Callum.”
He raises his eyebrows. “That’s what you think.”
I laugh it off as we pull out and drive down the winding canyon road. I slide my hand onto his thigh.
He lifts it and kisses the top. “Lily, you’re wearing your engagement ring.”
“Yes, I am.” I face him. “I’m ready for the world to know.”
“You sure?”
“Absolutely.”
“Why the change of heart?”
I shrug. “Honestly, I don’t want to get pregnant and then come out and say we’re getting married. Everyone will say you only proposed because you knocked me up. I want to preserve the meaning of our love.”
“That’s beautiful.” He races down the street, going faster than I like. “What do you think the meaning of our love is?”
“It’s real, sometimes intense, but full of warmth. Not the scandalous relationship the tabloids want the world to believe.”
We drive for a while until the venue appears at the end of a block lined with people. It’s the kind of crowd that forms wherever music lives on a Friday night. I spot a cluster of photographers near the entrance with their lenses already up.
Callum eases his Porsche up to the valet stand. “Ready?”
“Give me one second.” I flip down the sun visor, check my reflection, and flip it back up. “Okay. Now I’m ready.”
The valet circles to the driver’s side and stops. “I’ll take excellent care of her.”
“Make sure you do.” Callum pats the roof once. “She’s my baby.”
He comes around to my side before I can open the door myself. I take his hand and step out. The moment my heels hit the pavement, I make a decision.
“Callum, I have an idea.”
“Sounds a little wicked, given the mischievous shine in your eyes.”
The photographers clock us before we make it five steps, and the shift in the air hits right before the lenses start moving.
Any other night, I would’ve put my head down and kept walking. Tonight I stop, angle myself toward them, and lift my left hand to push my hair back from my face.
The flashbulbs fire all at once, and the paparazzi shout out.
“Cash! Cash, over here!”
“Livianna! Is that one of your designs?”
I flash my ring since they didn’t seem to see it.
“Is that a ring?” Another flash of light.
“Livianna! Is that an engagement ring?”
“Cash, are you two engaged? Is it official?”
A real and bright laugh escapes me. I turn slightly, just enough to give them the angle, and tilt my wrist so the ring catches every available light the block has to offer. The frenzy around us doubles in an instant.
“You did that on purpose.” Callum steps in close to me. “You’re running the show.”
“For once, this is going to be my narrative.” I interlace my fingers with his.
More shouts surround us.
“Livianna! When’s the wedding?”
“Have you set a date? Cash, look this way!”
“No comment.” I lean into Callum.
“No comment.” He steers us toward the entrance. “You’re fascinating, Lily. You know that?”
“I’m just a woman in love.” I peek up at him with a smile so big my face hurts.
“Right.” He smirks. “Like you didn’t plan every second of that.”
“Oh my god.” A girl breaks from the crowd and plants herself in our path. “Can I get a photo? Please? I’m obsessed with you both.”
“What’s your name?” I stop beside her.
“Jade.” She holds out her phone, hands shaking. “I can’t believe you actually stopped.”
“Most people aren’t us.” Callum takes the phone from her. “Get in.”
“Are you taking it?” Jade stares at him with wide, sparkling eyes. She’s in awe of him.
“Someone has to.” He holds the phone up. “Tell me when you’re ready.”
Jade laughs but covers her mouth with her palm. I pull her in by the shoulder and grin at the lens.
“Perfect.” Callum snaps the photo and then hands the phone back. “Have a great night, Jade.”
“Thank you.” Jade backs away, already staring at the image. “Oh my god. Thank you.”
A security guard steps in and moves us smoothly through the entrance before anyone else can follow. The door closes, and the noise drops away.
Inside, the low and thumping music takes over. A staff member takes us straight to the VIP area at the back.
The VIP section is elevated and roped off, with the city spread wide through the glass behind it. A black sectional-style couch forms a U-shape, with a thick glass table in the center. Bren spots us first.
“Finally.” He pulls me in. “Two hours late, Livianna.”
“Not my fault, Bren.” I squeeze him back. “Callum was the one who held us up this time.”
Cooper raises a glass. Hawke’s already smiling at Callum like they share a secret.
Hawke leans toward me. “What are you drinking?”
“Something cold and ridiculous.” I settle next to him. “Impress me.”
“On it.” Cooper waves a server over.
Callum drops to the other side of me and gestures to the pitcher of water. “Maybe I should have a stronger drink.”
All of us face him. His therapist has told him it’s wise to stay away from alcohol, but it’s not his issue. His drugs of choice are cocaine and opioids. Those are the real threats.
Ultimately, the choice is his. And he had some champagne at our engagement party, and nothing bad happened.
I place my hand on his thigh. “Are you sure?”
“I don’t know, but I feel like celebrating.” He scans the mixers and bottles of alcohol on the center of the glass table. “My lady just let the world know we’re tying the knot.”
The staff approaches just as Bren gets up and sits next to Callum. Bren says something to him none of us can hear. Callum’s lips press into a hard line, and he nods.
As they’re speaking, our personal server makes our drinks and hands them out to us.
A warm, spice-laced scent slams into me hard enough to stop my breath. I freeze with the glass halfway to my mouth.
Heat, spice, and cedar.
My pulse stutters, and I fly to my feet. The glasses go before I register what I’ve done, the cold liquid spreading wide across the glass table and straight down the front of Callum’s shirt.
He’s on his feet with his arms out, completely soaked. The staff runs to us and begins cleaning up as soon as they notice what I did.
“Lily.” He gazes down at himself. “What just happened?”
Cooper surveys the mess I made. “There go all the drinks, bro. Every single one of them.”
“That’s fine. I’m driving anyway.” Callum peels the wet fabric away from his chest. “I’ll get a new shirt from the mech store.”
“Callum, I just smelled some guy’s cologne.” I lean in to Hawke, chasing the scent, but it’s gone. “Hawke, are you wearing a spicy aftershave or something like that?”
“Nah, just deodorant.” He lifts his arm and sniffs. “It’s not me.”
Callum takes me by both arms. “Are you sure?”
“I’m sure.” I grip his wrist. “It was a spice of some sort, but it’s gone now.”
“Okay, love. That’s great.” He scans the surrounding space. “There are plenty of dudes here who smell like they bathed in it.”
“Callum, this has to mean I’m regaining my senses.” I search his face. “Tell me I’m getting my life back.”
“Don’t get your hopes up.” Bren sits forward. “Just because you smelled something doesn’t mean it was real. It’s like having a limb cut off, but you can still feel it.”
I hate his answer, so I glare. “Not cool, Bren.”
“Lily.” Callum releases me. “Guns is right. It might not be anything but…”
“But what?” I inch back. “Why don’t you want that for me?”
“Hey.” He cups my face in both hands. “I want that for you, but I don’t wanna see you get depressed or upset if your senses don’t return.”
“Callum.” I give him a pleading stare. “You don’t know what it’s like for me.”
He scrapes his teeth over his lower lip. “I know, but don’t get ahead of yourself, Lily.”
“How am I supposed to not get ahead of myself right now? Do you know how hard it is for me?”
“I can only imagine. Just be careful.” He takes my hand and brushes his thumb across my knuckles. “One moment isn’t a recovery. It could be, but it might not be.”
“I understand that.” My heart pounds against my ribs.
Something moves underneath the steadiness in his gaze, a flicker that’s gone before I can name it.
“Are you sure you smelled it?” He shrugs. Or are you just wishing so hard for things to be like they used to be that you’re making stuff up to fill the gaps?
“It’s possible, but…” I peer up to the rotating lights above. “Maybe I’m grasping at straws.”
“Hey, I believe you.” He gives me a hug. “I’m just asking you to stay calm. Be careful with your heart on this one. I know what it means to you.”
He’s right about one thing. I want this so badly that I can’t fully trust myself.
Once our area is cleaned up and more bottles are delivered, we dance and listen to the live band. Callum is sporting one of their T-shirts.
Bren slides up to me. “You like their sound?”
“Yes, they’re awesome.” I give him a thumbs up. “The lead singer is a woman, and I love it.”
“Yeah, and she loves me.” Bren tips his beer bottle my way. “We’re thinking about signing them.”
“Bren, did you sleep with her?” I face him. “Please tell me you don’t fuck the talent.”
He smirks, takes a drink, and then turns to listen. Callum pulls me into his chest, my back against him.
I lean against him and sway. His body meshed with mine is all I need tonight. I push back into his groin.
He dips his head near my ear. “Vixen, you’re being naughty.”
“In that case…” I turn his way. “Why don’t we call it a night?”
“You sure?” He raises his brows. “You said you needed to let loose tonight. Maybe you haven’t gotten in enough dancing.”
“There are other ways to let loose, and I can dance for you at home.”
“Fucking hell.” He takes my palm and runs it over his growing erection. “See what you do to me?”
I give his bulge a gentle squeeze. “Careful, love. If the girls here get a peek of that, I’ll have to fight them off.”
“That’s it. We’re out.” He takes me by the hand and practically drags me away.
I barely have time to say goodbye. Once we’re in the car, he flips on the radio.
A song is playing. As soon as it’s over, the DJ cuts in. “This just in. Child actor and lead singer of the band Black Cyanide, Zara Blackthorn, was in a deadly accident this evening. It seems both the driver of the black SUV and Zara were pronounced dead at the scene.”
“What!” My mouth drops open. “This can’t be true.”
“Shh.” Callum turns the sound up. “I wanna see if they’ll explain what happened.”
The DJ continues. “The crash took place on Pacific Coast Highway near Malibu, where the SUV ran off a cliff. It’s advised to stay clear of the area as an investigation is in progress.”
Callum’s smile grows. “Fucking hell, he did it.”
What the…?
I angle myself toward him. “Who did what? And why do you look so happy about it?”