Chapter Nine
CHAPTER
NINE
Derek
The meeting ends. I jump up and grab my backpack. William yells, “See you next week, Derek!” and I give a wave over my shoulder, step into the sun.
I keep my head down, skitter like an ant along the side of the building till I get to the bike racks.
I’m unlocking my bike when I hear a whistle from the soccer field.
I look over my shoulder. Yellow-and-blue jerseys sprint across the grass.
Like he can sense me there, Miguel looks over, and I duck my head.
The story is, I have to miss practice once a week because Gina gave me more hours at the diner. But if the team sees me hanging around an hour after school ends, it’ll blow my cover.
My phone dings, and I expect it to be a text from Miguel: haha caught you!
But instead, it’s Valeria. I mean, a lot of Valeria in very few items of clothing.
I sigh, almost delete the picture. Then I imagine her standing at the edge of a building, mascara streaming down her face, yelling, “You didn’t like my picture!
” Because since her parents’ divorce, she looks to me for complete validation of her existence.
I hit the red heart.
Me: i think you sent this to the wrong person.
Valeria: omg! Embarrassing! But do you think it’s a good picture to send Tommy?
Me: who’s tommy?
Me: nevermind. you look nice. you always look nice, so you don’t have to keep sending me these pictures.
Valeria: I didn’t mean to
Me: cool.
Valeria: You don’t think the angle’s wrong? My neck looks kinda short, right?
Me: you have the neck of a gazelle. it’s lovely.
I put my phone away, wheel my bike out, and push it through the grass until I turn the corner. I finally take a deep breath and follow the gravel road, where voices are still coming from the dense trees. I try to catch a glimpse of Jae’s white shirt. Instead, there’s a flash of gold.
I jump when an engine roars past and a yellow Ferrari spits gravel into the air, filling my nose with its earthy smell.
Two seniors stick their heads out of the windows and yell, fists pounding to heavy bass.
I cover my eyes and wish I could melt into the rocks and disappear forever.
I was supposed to get a Ferrari for my sixteenth birthday.
Instead, I’m riding around on a twowheeler.
The bike pedal clips my calf and I wince and throw the bike into the gravel.
Just then footsteps approach. I glance behind me. Fluttering high-waisted pants. A braid hanging over one shoulder. Her short legs are moving as fast as they can, and she reminds me of Henry’s dachshund. I pretend not to notice her and bend down to pick up my bike from the dirt.
“Hey,” she says in a clipped tone. “When do you want to meet?”
“For what?”
“For what? We have to find a venue. We’re supposed to plan the whole thing.”
“Hey,” I say as nice as I can. “I know this means a lot to you. Honestly, it’s cute. I just don’t care, okay? So whatever you want is cool with me.”
“Well, I know this means nothing to you, and it’s not cute. But this isn’t about you or me, it’s about the club. I could plan the whole thing myself, but I don’t think I should have to.”
Another car blasts past, sending dirt into the air. I half expect to see Miguel and Henry.
“Let’s get outta here,” I say, picking up the pace.
She lets out a long sigh but follows. “Slow down, Derek,” she says, working double-time to keep up. I do. Her face says she’s on a mission and she’ll kill to accomplish it.
“Frankly, I’m surprised you even want to talk to me,” I say.
“Well,” she answers.
“You hate me?”
She cocks her head to the side and smiles. Her dimples are like wells you could drown in, but it’s not the kind of smile I was hoping for: Her eyes are ready to impale.
“Why would I hate you?” she asks.
“Come on.”
“No, you come on. They say you’re supersmart.”
“That’s what they say.”
“Then I don’t get why you’re asking me dumb questions.” She stops walking and balls up her tiny little gerbil hands and plants them on her hips.
I’m not a genius but I’m not dumb, either. I know why she’s mad. “It’s because of my friends, right?” I say. “Look, they’re being idiots and I don’t think it’s funny. I told them to leave you alone. But Jae. I’m not responsible for what those guys do.”
“It was my first day here! My first!” Her black eyes are sparkling as if she’s about to cry, and honestly, it makes my heart ache a little. Before I can say anything, she hurries ahead of me, almost in a run.
Explaining things wouldn’t make a difference.
She wouldn’t understand. Dad’s gone, and in a way, so is Mom, and the guys are the only sense of normal I have left, even if we have less in common than before.
It’s like looking for food in the same empty cupboard, over and over again, hoping there’ll be something there the next time.
It’s not that I want to be friends with them. I need them.
It’s almost too easy to catch up to her. “Jae. My friends—”
“I don’t want to know anything about you or your friends. This is strictly business. So do you have an idea for a venue or not?”
“How about the school gym?”
She actually growls and stomps her foot. “I can’t with you. I can’t.”
“Fine. There’s another place. We can meet Friday if you want.”
“Same time? Three o’clock?”
“Can’t. I have soccer practice. I can stop by your place when I’m done. Around four thirty or five.”
“My uncle’s house?” She’s shouting even though she’s whispering. “No way. Let’s meet at your place.”
“No way. Just meet me there. Atlantic Dunes Park. It’s not too far from here. You just head down that way. I can meet you at the pavilion.”
She nods.
We reach the end of the gravel road and Jae takes a sharp left. I know she can hear me behind her, my bike wheels whirring softly, but she doesn’t say another word. It’s like I’m pulled along on an invisible leash. I want to look at her as long as I can.
Soon we’re all the way on Ocean Boulevard, where the mansions overlook the water. And I realize that Jae lives close to my old house—Mrs. Aldana’s house.
We pass a cream-colored stone wall, then Jae walks through a black ornate gate, past a black car parked on the circular driveway, and up the front steps of a sprawling palazzo.
She opens the door and looks over her shoulder with an expression I can’t read.
I suddenly remember her face in the boys’ bathroom, how much she cared.
Are you okay? For a second, I wish she could see the Derek I used to be.
Because there’s nothing I want her to know about the Derek I am now.
If she knew how bad things have been, she’d feel sorry for me, and the only thing worse than hate is pity.