Chapter Thirty-One
CHAPTER
THIRTY-ONE
Jae
At school, I hear Derek’s voice everywhere, sometimes calling my name. I take hallways I never go down. I walk double-time, making up for my short strides. I become a master of elusion and soon, he stops calling.
The school day ends, and it feels like my heart is punching against the walls of my chest.
I walk through the grove and see the top of his white hat. My foot snaps a fallen branch and the noise makes everyone look up. But Derek’s head barely rises. I’m thankful. I miss looking into his eyes. Miss the soft swirl of black hair against his ears. I miss him.
“Hey.” I hold out his poetry notebook, and his eyes snap up to meet mine. He reaches for it slowly, quietly, and for a moment, we’re both hanging on. Fingers inches apart.
“I can’t be in the club with you,” I say quietly. “If you want to stay, I can’t.”
One side of his mouth slips into a smile, and I notice that the cut in his lip is now a faint purple line.
“Hey, don’t look so chewed up about it,” he says.
“I was trying to get out of here, remember? Your uncle’s doing me a favor.
” Something passes in his eyes and his smile widens. “I’ll talk to Mrs. Aldana. No worries.”
“I’m sorry.” I let go of the notebook. Let go of all the words inside about destiny, about the stars telling our story.
I walk away from my usual stump beside him and sit on the edge of CJ and Swan’s blanket, hugging my knees.
They’re talking about the Halloween party, only weeks away, and I’m lost in my own thoughts, my nerves pulled tight.
Derek stands up and picks up his backpack, tells Mrs. Aldana he has to go and will see her later, waves at everyone, and walks off. He walks through the trees, head bowed, and I hug my legs harder, press my face into my knees so no one knows my heart is wringing.
When Mrs. Aldana asks us to write our five-minute poem, I write one. Only one.
A?enyo
My last name means
Home is good
But home has always been the place where
People come to leave
So how could home be
Anything but
Empty