Chapter Forty-One

CHAPTER

FORTY-ONE

Jae

I walk up the stairs almost lightheaded. From Uncle Rowan’s apology. From his hug. From what feels like love. I lie down on the bed, sink into it with deep breaths, and stare at the ceiling. Maybe I could use some stars.

My phone buzzes.

Just checking on you.

You don’t have to respond if you don’t want to.

The house is so empty without you.

I stare at the messages that go way back, unanswered.

I picture her sitting at the kitchen table, only one chair occupied, the sunlight from the window illuminating dust and emptiness.

I wonder if she still watches our shows in front of the TV.

I wonder if she steps into my bedroom, seeing all the old treasures I left.

School trip photos and friendship bracelets.

I hear the quiet plod of her feet down the hall.

I put the phone on speaker, hear the ringing and my heartbeat.

“Jae!” she answers, almost breathless. “Oh, Jae.” She sighs into the receiver. “Jae.”

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