Chapter 5
NOW
The cocoa formed a thin film of chocolate over the batter and she watched as it folded in, turning the cream-coloured mixture the colour of toffee. Bella added a little more until the mixture was sufficiently rich.
Her phone flashed up the name ‘Kitty’. She swiped at the screen to accept the call, leaving a trace of chocolate, and put it to her ear, cradling it between her shoulder and her head. ‘Hi.’
‘Hi.’ There was a pause. ‘So, how are things?’
‘OK,’ she lied, scraping batter into yet another set of cupcake cases.
‘Seriously?’
‘What do you want me to say?’ She could hear the sharpness in her tone and grimaced. Whatever this was, it wasn’t her sister’s fault.
There was another pause.
‘Sorry.’
It was very unlike Bella’s sister to be so hesitant.
Since Pete had left three weeks ago now, she’d phoned almost every day.
She’d counselled Bella through fits of tears or anger, helped her start to get the house organised for the imminent sale.
Even emailed an agent who had come to value the place. She deserved better than that.
Only, when Bella was baking, all the other stuff seemed to fall away. Her sister ringing now was like someone piercing the bubble of a dream and letting reality in.
‘We’ve accepted that offer.’
‘That’s really good!’
‘Is it?’ Bella looked sadly around the kitchen; she wasn’t sure how she felt about it now, without Pete there any more. The house was large, empty, fairly remote. It felt odd to be here solo. But she wasn’t in a hurry to leave either.
‘It is. Come on, Bella, you can’t afford it on your own. You said that yourself.’
‘I know. But… what am I meant to do? This is my business too. I won’t have a job or anything once it goes.’
‘Come home.’ Kitty’s voice took on an older sister authority. ‘Just get on a plane and come home.’
‘This is my home.’
‘It was your home. It’s not now, Bella. We’ll look after you here. You can find a job. Start again.’
Bella shook her head vehemently; the tears that hadn’t been far from her eyes over the last three weeks began to threaten again.
‘No,’ she said, her voice sounding slightly strangled now.
‘I can’t, Kitty. I don’t want to give up on France, even if I do have to give up this house. And I haven’t got time to start again.’
Yet another pause. ‘I do try to understand, I do,’ her sister said. ‘And I know France is beautiful. But I honestly can’t understand why you hate visiting the UK so much. It’s not that bad, you know!’
‘I know that!’
‘So let go of France for a bit. Come back, see me. Get to know your nephew a bit more.’
Now it was Bella’s turn to be silent. Then, ‘I can’t,’ she said, her voice small, reluctant.
‘But what will you do?’
‘I don’t know. I’ve applied for – I don’t know – a thousand jobs? One of them has to come up, surely.’
‘But you can get a job here, there’s loads of temping work around at the moment and…’
‘I can’t do it, Kitty. At least not yet. Because if I do, then Pete’s taken everything. Don’t you see that? He took my marriage, and my home. But I’ve had this dream of living in France for as long as I can remember. He can’t take that part of me too.’
‘He won’t. You’ll still be you.’
‘Look, maybe I will go back to England one day. But if I do, I want it to be on my terms.’ She sniffed loudly.
Kitty was silent. ‘OK,’ she finally said.
‘OK?’
‘I understand. But if that is the case, then you have to stop making cupcakes and start actually being practical.’
Bella looked around the kitchen – at the mixing bowls piled by the sink, the plates of pink-iced cupcakes, chocolate swirls. ‘What makes you think I’m baking?’
‘Bella?’
‘What?’
‘Bella…?’
She sighed. ‘OK, yes. I’m baking.’
‘And?’
‘And I’ll stop once this batch is finished. I’ll get back online and find something if it kills me.’
‘Atta girl.’