Chapter 25
25
The restaurant Andrew wanted to try was in Mayfair. Su Khoon’s PA had booked a private dining room for their lunch with him. This had sounded good in theory, but it turned out to be in the basement—something of a letdown after the bright, airy ground floor of the restaurant, with its white walls and high ceilings.
Descending a dimly lit flight of stairs into a windowless room, Renee felt some doubt as to whether this was an improvement. She’d never understood why restaurants thought it was fancy not to be able to see what you were eating, or the people you were eating it with.
But then again, given Andrew was going to be there, the less Renee was able to make out of the company, the better. They weren’t that big a party, so it was unlikely she’d be able to avoid talking to him. Only the decision-makers on each side were in attendance.
Fortunately, Su Khoon’s PA hadn’t been quite so organised as to come up with a seating plan. Renee managed to manoeuvre herself into a seat next to Lin.
Over the past few weeks, she’d gained an impression of Lin as being highly competent and severely underrated. It said a lot about her that she was the only woman visible on the Freshview side of the deal, and the only Malay woman in a predominantly Chinese team.
Sure, Lin was friends with Renee’s sister-in-law, who hated her. But Renee wasn’t going to hold that against Lin, if Lin didn’t hold it against her.
They were chatting about skincare, exchanging tips on what had and hadn’t worked to banish their teenage acne, when Lin cut herself off midsentence. She had been relaxed, laughing, but now she straightened up, an alert wariness passing over her face. Her mouth curved in something that was almost but not quite like a smile.
Renee turned to see Andrew had appropriated the chair to her right. The Chahaya business development guy had been sitting there a moment ago, but either he’d gone to the bathroom, or he’d been prevailed upon to give up his seat for Low Teck Wee’s nephew.
“Sorry I’m late,” said Andrew. His teeth flashed in what he no doubt thought was a charmingly boyish grin.
Renee cast a desperate glance at the other side of the table, where Su Khoon was sitting. She’d assumed he’d be keen to monopolise Andrew, given his philosophy on building relationships with people who mattered. But Su Khoon was off duty, chatting to his Freshview watch-nerd bros, his face already stained pink from the welcome glass of champagne.
There was nowhere to run. Gritting her teeth, Renee returned Andrew’s smile, though hers was probably even less convincing than Lin’s had been.
“When are you guys heading back to Singapore?” she said.
Lin was staying for an indefinite time: “Maybe two, three years. I’ll be supporting the project.”
“You must be desperate to get back,” said Renee to Andrew. He was sitting a little too close. She adjusted her chair discreetly to put an extra inch of distance between them—the most she could manage with the space available. “I’m sure Felicia can’t wait to see you.”
Her emphasis on his wife’s name was probably a little on the nose, but this wasn’t the time to be subtle.
“Felicia’s in Jakarta with her family,” said Andrew. “She’s got two nannies, her mom’s waiting on her hand and foot, and some Indonesian grandma comes to the house every day to massage her. I don’t think she’s missing me.” He laughed. “I’m not in a rush. There’s plenty of work to do, and I love London.”
His eyes strayed down her front.
Renee was wearing an Isabel Marant V-neck midi dress, black velvet with long sleeves. She hadn’t thought the dress was that low-cut when she put it on, but the way Andrew’s gaze was dipping downwards was making her wish she’d turned up in a high-collared sack.
It was a relief when the waitstaff brought in the amuse-bouches. Renee turned back to Lin. “What did the waiter say this was? A consommé? Great, I love a consommé.”
Renee usually enjoyed a tasting menu, but it was a different experience with Andrew to fend off. She wished she’d faked a cold and stayed home. After the first glass of champagne she stuck to water, but Andrew was subject to no such restraint. Each course was paired with wine and he knocked back a generous glass of every one. By the fourth and final entree, there was a warm, sweaty hand on Renee’s knee.
She drew her knee away, but the hand followed. She couldn’t shake it off without making it obvious to the table at large what was going on. She didn’t want to make a scene.
Andrew was relying on that, of course. Bile rose in her throat.
He waited till Lin was busy talking to the guy on her other side to shoot his shot.
“Renee…” Andrew shook his head, smiling. “I can’t get over the fact we’re here together. Running into you again, on this deal… it feels like fate.” He moved his mouth close to her ear and said, his voice gravelly, “You were always the one that got away.”
Because Renee’s brain hated her, a voice in her head said, Imagine if it was Ket Siong saying this to you. It was like someone had put their fist in her chest and squeezed.
Nine days had passed since she’d had any interaction with Ket Siong. Not that she’d been wondering how he was; what he was doing; what he thought of her. Whether he was as upset and bewildered by her cutting off contact as she had been over his rejection of her, all those years ago.
He must be thinking she’d ghosted him because he’d challenged her, told her home truths she didn’t want to hear. He had no way of knowing how his revelations were haunting her—how many hours she’d spent poring over articles about Freshview’s iniquities and Stephen’s disappearance.
She’d read through the Hornbill Gazette ’s archive of posts on Ensengei, including the two entries mentioning Stephen. These shed no light on his fate; they simply quoted him as an environmental campaigner. Renee was subscribed to the blog now, when a couple of weeks ago she’d never heard of it.
Not that her reading had helped her decide what to do. She could see it was simple for Ket Siong. Even if Freshview hadn’t been responsible for Stephen’s disappearance, by their own admission, they were culpable. Destroying huge tracts of rainforest might be legal; that didn’t mean it was right. Anyone involved with Freshview was ultimately profiting off their wrongdoing.
Ket Siong wouldn’t care about everything that complicated the matter for Renee. Her dad’s expectations; her burgeoning not-quite-friendship with Su Khoon; the way she was doing what her family wanted of her for the first time in her life.
It wasn’t just about her family. Getting this deal through was a matter of professional pride. Renee’s entire life had been about being good at her job. It wasn’t like she had much of anything else to fall back on.
At least Ket Siong only had half the picture. He wouldn’t know the other reason she’d blocked him—pure jealousy.
God, she was so pathetic.
She felt drained. The waitstaff were clearing away the plates for the dessert course, the petits fours had come out, and coffees were being served. Maybe she could slip away.
Andrew didn’t seem to have noticed her silence.
“I know we had our problems,” he was saying, “but the good times were good, right? It’s never been the same with anyone else. I’ve missed you. I miss the person I was when we were together.”
Renee had been on the verge of getting up, announcing she had a headache ( not tonight, dear ). But this was too much. “Andrew, when we were together, you used to go through my phone and get upset over my guy friends’ messages. You can’t call that a healthy relationship.”
Andrew seemed to take a perverse pleasure in getting told off.
“It was because I could never believe you really wanted to be with me,” he said, wide-eyed. “I was always terrified someone was going to come take you away.”
“Well, nobody did,” said Renee. “We broke up because you were sexting another girl. Remember?”
Andrew heaved a sigh. “Biggest mistake of my life. But—I’m not saying it was right, what I did, but I never cheated on you. I never met up with her, it was just texting. It was dumb, I should never have done it. But all of that, it was about me, Renee. How I felt about myself. It wasn’t that I didn’t care about you.”
Engaging with him had been a mistake. Renee had thought if she made him mad enough, he’d back off.
It wasn’t as though Andrew had ever actually liked her . He’d liked the idea of her: her family, their wealth, her looks, her accent. He’d even liked the idea of having a girlfriend who ran her own business. It was the reality he’d had problems with—the fact it meant Renee worked all the time and had a mind of her own.
“I wasn’t ready to admit it then,” said Andrew. “But being with you made me feel insecure. I knew you were out of my league.”
“Look, it was a long time ago,” said Renee. “We both made mistakes.” For instance, she had been dumb enough to date him, whereas he had been a giant asshole. “But we’ve moved on. You’ve got Felicia and your family, and this great new role. And this project—it’s such an amazing opportunity. I want to take it forward on the best possible terms.”
Andrew’s face darkened. His hand tightened on her knee, his fingers digging into her flesh. “Stop avoiding the subject. You think I can’t tell you’re trying to fob me off?”
For a moment Renee was flung suddenly back in time. She was in her flat, staring at Andrew’s red face as he screamed at her, knowing she was in danger.
“Andrew, you’re hurting me,” she said, and heard her voice wobble.
“Oh, Mr. Yeoh,” said Lin. “Heng Yee is saying he has a contact in local government here, maybe we can talk to them about our issue with planning. Do you want to explain to him?”
Heng Yee was one of Su Khoon’s guys. Leaning past the back of Lin’s chair so he could catch Andrew’s eye, he said:
“I don’t know if my contact can help, but I’m happy to connect you guys.”
Andrew let go of Renee’s knee, forcing a smile.
Renee said, “Heng Yee, why don’t you come over here so you can talk? I’m getting up anyway.” She pushed back her chair, standing up.
Lin wouldn’t meet Renee’s eyes, but Renee caught her darting a nervous glance at Andrew. She had a feeling Lin was aware of everything that had happened, down to the hand on the knee.
She thought about making a break for it while she was in the bathroom, but the meal was almost over. She’d tough it out. Su Khoon was bound to make something of it if she retreated even at this late point.
Heng Yee was deep in conversation with Andrew when she returned, as she’d guessed might be the case—he was a talker and keen to make an impression. Renee was able to slip into the seat he’d left vacant next to Lin. She spent the rest of the meal talking to Lin.
Finally the last coffees and petits fours were consumed, napkins discarded on the table, chairs pushed back. The party went upstairs, chatting desultorily while they waited by the cloakroom for their coats and bags.
Renee took up position next to the door, to enable a quick exit. She could no longer see Andrew among their group. Maybe he’d gone to the bathroom, or left in a fit of pique.
She was starting to hope she’d escape any further encounters with him, when, with an unpleasant shock, she caught sight of him through the window. He cast his cigarette onto the pavement, grinding it under his heel, and came back into the restaurant.
He was on her before she could decide what to do. He said brusquely, in an undertone:
“I’m not done with you yet. We need to talk.”
Renee put her shoulders back, lifting her chin. “No.”
“What do you mean, ‘no’?” said Andrew. “I thought you wanted to work together? Or you don’t want that anymore?”
He was starting to attract attention, drawing curious glances from the other diners. The Freshview team were looking uncomfortable. Out of the corner of her eye, Renee saw Su Khoon shrug on his coat hastily, preparing to come over.
She should let her brother handle this. She could practically hear him: Never mind my sister. You know what women are like. I’ll handle her.
But she was fed up. She’d had enough of biting her tongue to spare men’s feelings.
“We’ve made it clear we want this partnership. But you and I are not going to be able to work together if you can’t keep our personal history out of it,” said Renee. “I’m not the one clinging onto the past. You don’t see me telling people about how you broke into my flat and threw my phone out of the window. You got cautioned, remember? I would like to forget, but you are not helping!”
She didn’t bother lowering her voice. The Freshview team heard every word. They sneaked shifty looks at one another, like a class of students getting reamed out by the teacher.
Su Khoon looked furious. At Renee, obviously. But she wouldn’t have expected anything else.
A new party entered the restaurant, looking taken aback at the crowd of worried Chinese businessmen blocking their way. Renee pushed past them blindly. She had to get out before anyone noticed the tears in her eyes.
They were tears of rage, but the men would see them as a sign of weakness. She wouldn’t give them the satisfaction.
She was nearly at the end of the street when she heard footsteps behind her, quick and purposeful.
She could turn around and face her brother. Or she could keep walking, and he’d probably put on speed and grab her. She turned around.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” said Su Khoon.
He was a dull red. She could smell the alcohol coming off him. They were on a quiet street, lined with residential and office buildings. In a sense, it didn’t matter if they had a scene—but Renee would have appreciated having witnesses.
“Let’s talk about this later,” she said. “You’ll want to say goodbye to the Freshview guys.”
“Say goodbye to the deal, more like,” said Su Khoon. “Are you purposely trying to fuck us over or what? Just because you don’t want to work with Andrew—”
“That is not what that was about. Andrew was the one who—”
“You wanted to work on this pitch,” said Su Khoon. “You wanted to come to this lunch. Fine, I let you join, I trust you to be a grown-up. And this is how you behave? You blow up at Andrew Yeoh, treat him like he’s nobody in front of his staff. What the hell are you trying to achieve? Everybody knows Low Teck Wee’s daughters are not interested in the business. Andrew is being groomed to take over.”
Renee crossed her arms over her chest, shivering. She’d forgotten her coat at the restaurant, and it was cold. “He was being a creep! He was groping my knee all through lunch, being a total sleaze—”
Su Khoon rolled his eyes. “Even something like this you can’t handle? Managing relationships is not about buying people sushi so you can be popular. It’s about dealing with this kind of situation. The man’s away from his wife, he had a few drinks, he’s trying his luck. It’s not like he was going to do anything in a restaurant, with his staff there.”
Renee had a lump in her throat, which made her angrier than ever. She should know by now not to let her family get to her.
Su Khoon was never going to see this from her point of view, or give her any credit for exercising self-control. Why should that hurt her?
“I tried being polite,” she said. “It didn’t work. What did you want me to do, go back to his hotel and fuck him just to shut him up?”
“I don’t know why you mind so much,” said Su Khoon. “It’s not like you’re picky when it comes to men.”
Heat rose in Renee’s face.
“This isn’t about me,” she snapped. “I was being professional. Andrew’s the one who keeps going over the line. I shouldn’t have to put up with this behaviour.”
“You knew he was coming when you asked to join,” said Su Khoon. “If you weren’t prepared for it, you shouldn’t have come.”
“Er Ge—”
“I am not going to let you fuck this up for me,” said Su Khoon. “Whatever shit you have with Andrew Yeoh, deal with it, or I’m telling Dad this is over.”
He ran his hands through his hair, shaking his head. “I should have known this was going to happen. Dad wants Da Ge to win, that’s why he stuck me with you. But there has to be a limit. He can’t blame me for you being uncontrollable.”
A woman coming along the street glanced at them and crossed to the other side, casting a curious look backwards. Did she think they were a couple having a tiff, or a boss giving his employee a dressing down?
Renee said, with a composure she did not feel, “Let’s not do this here. It’s been an emotional day, and—” You’ve had a lot to drink, she almost said, but cut herself off just in time. “And we could both do with a break. Let’s have the weekend off. We can talk about this on Monday.”
“There’s nothing more to talk about,” said Su Khoon. “You’re coming back with me to apologise to the Freshview team.”
Renee stared, but he was serious. “Are you kidding me?”
“Why did you think I came after you?” said Su Khoon. “Come on. They’re waiting.” He turned, not even checking she was following.
“I’m not coming,” said Renee.
Su Khoon stopped. He turned his face up to the sky, as if seeking celestial intervention.
“This is the only way to fix the relationship,” he said, with strained patience. “I know you’re busy throwing a tantrum right now, but we are talking about half a billion pounds here. If you’re not willing to swallow your ego for that, you might as well go back to selling overpriced dresses to aunties. Don’t fool yourself that you’re ready to run a business like Chahaya.”
He was probably right that she was putting the deal at risk. Renee had no doubt Andrew was petty enough to use what clout he had to knock them out of the running. Chahaya needed her to turn back with Su Khoon and grovel.
Chahaya had loomed like a mountain over the landscape of her childhood. She had spent the past few weeks labouring in its shadow. But at this moment, it seemed tiny, insignificant, her work to win it meaningless. Renee thought of Andrew’s fingers, digging into her knee, and opened her mouth to throw it all away.
Then she heard the clicking of heels. Behind Su Khoon, Lin was approaching. She had Renee’s camel hair coat folded neatly over her arm.
“Mr. Goh!” she said. “Miss Goh forgot her coat.”
Lin was breathless, her hair tumbled by the wind. She held the coat out to Renee.
“I—thank you,” said Renee.
Su Khoon, too, seemed disarmed by the intrusion of a stranger on their fight. He cleared his throat and tugged at his jacket, shaking out the sleeves.
“Yes. Thank you,” he said. “We were just coming back. Sorry to keep you all waiting.”
Lin glanced from him to Renee. “Miss Goh is coming, too?”
They had been on first name terms, earlier.
Su Khoon said firmly, “Yes.”
Renee was about to disagree, but Lin’s expression was so transparently relieved that it gave her pause. Lin threw a glance backwards. There was something hunted about the turn of her head, as though she thought someone might be in pursuit. She hadn’t followed them simply because she was worried Renee might get cold.
It didn’t take any extraordinary insight to guess what she was worried about. Renee could imagine what it would be like for Lin, returning to all those men. Andrew would be fuming, and Andrew was her boss.
Renee would have left Su Khoon to work things out on his own. She wouldn’t go back for him, or Chahaya, or herself.
Even now, her stomach turned at the idea of trotting back, docile, to abase herself to Andrew. Apologise to the Freshview team, Su Khoon had said, to make it more palatable, but they both knew what he meant.
Why should she have to eat crow because Lin had a shitty boss? Lin had chosen to work for Freshview. Presumably the advantages of her position outweighed the downsides.
But Lin looked over her shoulder again, shifting on her feet.
She’d intervened during the lunch, redirecting Andrew’s at tention, even if Renee could have wished the intervention had come sooner. Renee owed her.
“Yes,” echoed Renee. “I’ll come.”
She shrugged on her coat, belting it at the waist. The three of them walked back to the restaurant together, in silence.