Chapter Eight #2
My entire body trembles, and I hide my face in my hands, laughing as an instinctive reaction to avoid crying.
I hear Luigi rising from his chair and stepping closer. Then his hands are on my shoulders, and I get up to let him hug me. Daisy is not the only one needing comfort.
“Please don’t lose faith in me,” I say, and Luigi holds my head against his chest as if I’m a boy who grew up too much, too fast.
I back away to compose myself, but he holds my face at arm’s length, looking at me firmly. “Listen now, son. I’m not losing faith in you. Ever. Do you understand?”
My eyes prickle as I hold back the tears. Son. I can’t believe how lucky—how blessed , as Daisy pointed out—I am for having found Luigi. He doesn’t owe me anything. I’m a musician he picked up off the street, and yet he treats me like I’m his flesh and blood.
I want to be worthy of his love. Because even if I’m not good enough to be his successor, he will always be a father to me.
And he deserves the truth.
“I’m in love with her, Luigi.”
I hear the words echoing in the room, and they sound so powerful, so chilling, they lift the hairs on my arms. Luigi squeezes my shoulders, his gaze firm, but full of solidarity.
“I’m glad you didn’t keep telling me the lie because I knew it the moment I walked onto the terrace.”
I chuckle and shake my head. How could he know? Even I didn’t know the full extent of my feelings until this afternoon…
“You wanted her the moment you saw her, Lorenzo. That’s what this whole thing has been about.”
This accusation gets me defensive. I cross my arms. “It wasn’t about me. I truly wanted to help them.”
“No, you wanted her to see with her own eyes that her plans wouldn’t work.”
I laugh with scorn. “Is that what you think of me? Then why didn’t you say it to my face when I asked you to let me do this?”
He never believed I could succeed. Damn. It hurts.
Luigi takes a step closer, confronting me. “I’m not accusing you of disloyalty or deceit, Lorenzo,” he says, his voice louder than before. “I just want you to confront your nature. You won’t get far in life if you don’t admit who you are to yourself.”
I swallow my next words and let the silence fill the room.
Then I can’t stand it.
“And what is that nature exactly?” I raise my voice now too, pissed. “Seducer? Uncommitted? Casanova?”
I stare at him, breathing heavily, challenging him to say the truths he thinks he knows so well.
He stays controlled. His eyes are almost perfectly calm. I see his hands shaking, though.
“I believe in the best of you, Lorenzo,” Luigi says, and before I can reply, he continues. “I know you are perfectly capable of replacing me as general manager. What I don’t know is if you know yourself and the power you have over people.”
I snort, pacing the room to avoid him, but he follows me with his imposing voice.
“You enchant people, and you move them, both with your music and your charming personality,” he says.
I halt and look at him with my forehead wrinkled.
“It’s a great power, and it can be useful as a musician and a hotel manager, but you need to be aware of its consequences.
Of where you’re aiming. Of the trail of shattered hearts you might leave behind. ”
So that’s where he’s going. “Is this what you’re worried about? How many people will fall for me because I’m good-looking and like to smile and flirt?”
He steps closer, rigid. “You promised to make that woman fall in love with her best friend, and now she’ll leave Hotel Marchesi thinking of you.”
I put my hands on my waist, my blood boiling. “And what about me? Do you think I’m some destroyer of dreams with no feelings?”
“You just don’t see it coming. That’s what I’m trying to tell you.” He comes so close, I can see every line on his forehead. “When you flirted with her, did you think about what that would mean for both of you?”
I purse my lips, swallowing hard. No, of course I didn’t. I assumed it was harmless, like I always do. I told myself it was a fun game we would both enjoy and then forget about.
That’s not how it feels now, though.
I look down, hating to admit that Luigi is right.
“I didn’t plan on falling for her, okay? I’m sorry!” I open my eyes wide with frustration.
Luigi stares at me and then sighs. “I know you didn’t, but I knew you might.”
“And then you let me because you wanted to test me?”
That was the real bet—how long I would last helping a pretty girl. Damn.
“I wanted to see you commit, didn’t I?” Luigi raises one eyebrow at me. “And you committed, Lorenzo.”
I committed to Daisy. I gave her all of me these past few days. I made her feel the magic of Venice like I set out to do.
Suddenly, things start to fit into place, and my anger subsides. “She’s special,” I say, low as a whisper. “And I don’t want her to leave. I want to keep committing.”
Luigi nods, his eyes narrowed, full of sympathy. He deeply cares about me, and he doesn’t want to see me fail. But he still has a hotel to manage and must make sure he’s leaving it in the best hands.
“You should tell her how you feel, Lorenzo,” he says, because he knows as well as me that this isn’t a spring fling I’ll forget about next week. “You should go with her.”
The suggestion takes me by surprise. I blink at Luigi.
“What? To the US? No, no.” I back away, reaching the desk and leaning on it. “That’s not an option.”
I can’t leave Italy to live in Los Angeles because of her.
I have no wish whatsoever to pursue the American dream.
I belong in Venice, the city that welcomed me, in the hotel that became home—even when Luigi is gone.
Because the calm and enjoyable life I made for myself here brings forth a version of me that, yes, is flawed, but is at least untroubled, unanxious, and cheerful.
I’d rather enjoy the beauty and the pleasures my days here offer than go to an unfamiliar place. A big city that will turn me into a stressed fish out of water trying to succeed in a competitive, ruthless industry, whether it’s music or hospitality.
“I want to stay here and run Hotel Marchesi,” I say firmly, hoping Luigi understands how much I want this.
“But what if you could resume your violin career there?” He comes closer, gazing at me intensely, but I keep shaking my head, avoiding him and his words.
“You know I can’t play as well as before. I won’t make it in any orchestra.”
“You will if you set your mind to it,” Luigi insists, harsh as only he can be with me.
But I don’t want to accept what he is saying.
It would be too hard. Being with her would mean giving up too many things—Venice, Hotel Marchesi, the Lorenzo I became here and the peace and happiness I’ve found.
I really can’t go back to being an anxious musician who will take one hit after another until there is only a pile of scraps to pick up.
Not even having Daisy would justify going through all that. Besides, I’d be a lost man, which means I wouldn’t be able to give her the love she deserves.
“I’ll need to convince her to stay,” I conclude. It’s the only way this could work.
I’ve already made her fall in love with the city. Now, she needs to be brave enough to take the big step. It would be great for her. And it would make us possible.
Luigi smiles, and there’s too much disbelief in it for my liking.
But there’s also amazement. For the fact that his ragazzo grew up and found love at last.
“Regardless of what happens between Daisy and me, nothing will change, Luigi,” I reassure him. “I’ll still want to manage your hotel. I’m not leaving.”
“Well, we’ll see about that, won’t we?” He squeezes my shoulder and turns his back to me.
That annoys me greatly. I haven’t convinced him yet. Which means I’m not done here.
But he is.
He exits the room and leaves me alone in the manager’s office, as if on purpose, so I can contemplate all I’ll lose if I don’t prove my heart is within these walls.
* * *
I knock on room 305 at seven o’clock, looking over my shoulder to make sure no one has spotted me. Luigi knows now, but I still don’t want to be the subject of gossip.
When Daisy opens the door—in the same T-shirt and jeans she was wearing on the terrace—her mouth opens in a slight O. Maybe she expected Jeremy, not the hotel employee she was almost caught kissing.
“Everything okay, Ms. Hogan? Can I enter?”
She nods, knowing I’m using my professional tone just in case, and lets me in. I close the door behind me and instantly drop the concierge pose.
“Seriously, are you okay?”
I barely have time to see the expression on her face, and she hugs me.
Having her in my arms is so comforting I feel ten kilos drop off my shoulders. I could stay in this embrace for a very long time, caressing her hair and smelling her skin, but she quickly pulls away and looks at me with a concerned face.
“I’m okay, but what about you? Did he—”
“He knows.”
She inhales noisily, covering her mouth with her hands. “Oh no, Lorenzo. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” She grips my shoulders with panic in her eyes.
I hold her face to reassure her. “Don’t worry, okay? Luigi is a friend above all. He understands.”
“Understands? What exactly did you tell him?”
I need to choose my words carefully. Daisy’s distress makes me worry she might end things to protect us both.
I can’t let her.
“He…read between the lines,” I say simply. “I didn’t have to tell him anything. He knew.”
She runs her hands over her hair as if she is trying to take the tension away from her forehead. “We were really stupid,” she says. “Of course he didn’t believe our story. I’m sorry I asked you to meet me, Lorenzo. I really am.”
“I’m not,” I say, moving closer and cupping her cheek. She stares at me with her warm brown eyes, so beautiful even when she’s worried. “I don’t regret a single moment with you.”
I want to kiss her, but I don’t dare right now.
She lays her hand over mine, keeping it on her cheek. A shower of relief bathes my organs. She still wants me.