Chapter 15
Claire
That hug with Ryan was…really nice.
Like, really nice.
I don’t remember ever hugging him like that—a full-frontal, arms wrapped around each other hug.
And I may have forgotten myself for a moment, leaning into him, getting the full effect of his embrace, hearing his heart thump in his chest. There was relief in being held by him, and not just physically.
It was the relief that we’d talked about our friendship and could hopefully put all the weirdness behind us.
As soon as I realized what I was doing, I pulled away. I’ll admit, I was slightly awkward about it. But it is what it is.
The rest of the week has been pretty normal.
We had another actual planning meeting on Tuesday, and Ryan doesn’t seem like he’s intentionally avoiding me anymore, but I still feel like our interactions are laced with an underlying tension.
So on Friday afternoon, instead of worrying about my friendship with Ryan, I focus on getting ready for a date with Zach.
A date.
We haven’t been on a date in… I think it’s been about three years.
But this morning, he texted me and asked if I wanted to go out to dinner and see a movie.
I got a little thrill like I used to when he first asked me out.
I haven’t felt this way in a long time. Zach hasn’t given me butterflies since…
Well, it’s been a while. And ever since we had our wedding planning meeting with our moms last week, I’ve been feeling like I could use a night to reconnect with him.
When we were seventeen and first started dating, we didn’t do anything fancy. We just went to In-N-Out, sometimes we’d go to the beach and he’d play the guitar, or we’d even hang out at home. There’d never been a need to impress each other. I never thought I needed that.
But today, his text not only invited me to dinner, but it told me to wear something nice.
He didn’t give any other details, which makes me a little nervous, but I’m pushing that aside and choosing to be excited instead.
So for the first time ever, I felt the rush of getting dressed up for him.
The idea that he wanted to take me somewhere fancy made me feel special.
After I finish my hair and makeup, I go into my closet and pull out a satin, emerald-green dress.
It’s sleeveless with a square neck, and fitted throughout the body, hitting just above my knees.
Ryan told me at last year’s faculty fiesta that green looked great with my hair and eyes, and I’ve never forgotten.
Not that I’m wearing it for Ryan. Of course not.
It’s just…nice to know that I’ll look good.
Paired with some tan heels, gold jewelry, and a tan handbag, I actually feel like I could turn some heads.
I remember a shawl this time in case it gets cold—a beautiful and delicate crocheted cream shawl made by my aunt Silvia.
My phone buzzes in my purse. A text from Zach.
Zach
I’m downstairs, come out when you’re ready.
With a smile, I exit my apartment and head down the stairs to his truck. He’s looking down at his phone, which is on the steering wheel, when I open the door and slide into the passenger seat.
“Hey!” I say breathlessly. I lean over for a kiss, but he’s still engrossed in his phone, so I peck his cheek. “I’m excited for tonight.”
“One sec.” He finishes typing a message, presses send, and puts his phone in the center console. He flashes me a grin, the one I always loved as a teenager. Yes. This is good. Remember these things. “Me, too.”
He puts the car in drive and pulls out of the parking lot.
“So, where are we headed? Magistra’s? Angie & Dan’s?” I list off a couple of the fancy restaurants nearby. When he doesn’t respond, I throw out a joking, “In-N-Out?”
He chuckles. “No. Not In-N-Out. But you’ll see when we get there.”
I settle back in my seat and look out the window, content with the idea of a surprise evening together. Memories flood my mind from when we were first dating. The fluttery feelings of knowing that he wanted to hang out with me and just me, hold my hand, have his arm around my waist…
I look back at him. We’re not even touching now. When did that change? I reach over, trying to grab his hand that’s on the shifter, but he puts it back on the steering wheel and looks over his left shoulder to change lanes.
Awkwardly, I take my hovering hand and put it back in my lap. We’ll have opportunities to hold hands later tonight. I’m sure of it.
“How was your day?” I ask him.
“Pretty good. I hit the gym in the morning, then the sauna. Came home and took a nap. Watched a little TV. How about you?”
“I’m off Fridays, so I just did my work from home. I had a bunch of calculus exams to grade in the morning, and then I prepped my lectures for next week. I worked on my online classes and graded their discussion topics. Pretty typical Friday.”
I also worked on my book, but I don’t tell Zach that. I’m almost done with the synopsis, so I took a chance with my relationship with Ryan and sent it over for his feedback. While I waited for his response, I did work for school.
I still haven’t heard back from Ryan.
He glances over at me with a grin. “Doesn’t sound like a fun Friday.”
I tilt my head. “I don’t know. I enjoy it. It doesn’t feel like work to me.”
“Just like my app.”
“Mm-hmm.” What I want to say is, No, it’s not just like your app. I actually get paid for this. And I worked today, but you didn’t.
Yikes. Where did that come from? Such a sudden, knee-jerk reaction to him bringing up his “work.” I didn’t think I was so bitter about it. Actually, I don’t know if I’ve even explored my opinion about his newest venture.
How DO I feel about the app?
I look out the window, not letting his nearness influence my thoughts.
Zach has always had the potential to do great things.
He’s charismatic, good-looking, and fun.
At first meeting, everyone loves him. I’ve always thought he would be good at sales or marketing.
But instead, he hasn’t had the drive or motivation to make something of himself.
Mike and Julie are incredible people, but I don’t think they’ve been the best at helping Zach find his own talents and skills. They’ve made it too easy for him.
And I’m about to make it even easier.
I push those thoughts out of my mind. Maybe it’s something we can talk about once we’re married.
Zach turns into a parking lot, and I take a look at our destination—the Canyon Vista Golf Club. “Are we…golfing?”
Zach laughs and shakes his head. “No.”
Thank goodness. I tried golfing once and it was a disaster. At this point, I’ll stick to mini golf, and even that is rough. You’d think a math professor would be good at golf, with the angles and all that, but my hand-eye coordination leaves much to be desired.
He pulls up to the valet station, and we get out of the truck. To my left, I swear I see Ryan’s silver Toyota parked in the lot. In fact… Yes, that’s Ryan’s license plate, too.
What is he doing here? Maybe he’s golfing with Chase or his roommate?
The idea that I might run into Ryan makes me weirdly excited and also nervous. But I don’t have time to dwell on it. Zach comes around to my side of the truck and leads me into the club.
I’m not sure where we’re headed, and I don’t love that feeling. Surprises aren’t my favorite—case in point, the proposal. But I’m trying to be excited that Zach planned something special for us. We walk past the sports bar, the casual restaurant, and then arrive at a set of double doors.
“Ready?” Zach asks.
I want to say, No, of course I’m not ready, because I have no idea what I’m walking into, but I nod anyway. He opens the door, and we’re met with a crowd of fifty people shouting, “SURPRISE!”
I turn and look over my shoulder, wondering who they’re surprising, until I realize there’s no one behind us. This is for me. I look around at the crowd… My parents, Zach’s parents, my aunt and uncle, Zach’s cousins, and…my workmates.
Janet, Christopher David, Liam Patel (blech), and Ryan.
I meet Ryan’s eyes, confusion clouding my thoughts. What is he doing here?
“Isn’t this awesome, babe?” Zach’s voice to my left draws my attention away from Ryan. “Our parents threw us a surprise engagement party! Well, you’re the only one getting surprised.”
Yay for me.
“Are you surprised?” Mom cries out, her hands clasped in front of her chest.
And then I realize how many people are watching ME, waiting for MY reaction. I flash a huge smile. “I had no idea!”
Everyone laughs, so that was apparently the right response. The crowd rushes over, hugging and congratulating us on our engagement, and I’m too busy greeting everyone in turn to get lost in my feelings.
At the end of the procession line are my coworkers. Janet gives me a professional hug, Christopher nearly tackles me, Liam waves politely, and Ryan is the last to say hi.
“Congrats, Claire,” he says, pulling me into a side-hug.
It’s the first time we’ve touched since I hugged him in the conference room on Monday afternoon.
I quickly lean my head on his shoulder, feeling the warmth of his body next to mine.
Of everyone here, he’s the person I’m most comfortable with.
Even if I’m not going to hold him like I did in the office, it’s a relief to sink into him.
I don’t even know the last time I felt that safe being held by Zach.
Ryan pulls away quickly and smiles at Zach, who’s right at my side. Ryan holds out his hand. “Congrats to you, too.”
“Thanks.” Zach ignores Ryan’s outstretched hand and roughly slings an arm around my shoulders. He squeezes me tight, jostling me a little. “I snagged a good one.”
Ryan awkwardly brings his hand back to his side and watches us for a moment, the smile disappearing from his lips.
“You sure did.” His expression morphs into a grin, and he points over at the food table.
“I’m gonna go grab some appetizers. Talk to you later.
” He heads across the room, and my brow furrows as I watch him leave.
“That was weird,” Zach comments. “You’d think he was into you or something.”
“Ryan? No way.” I laugh, my throat a little tight. “He’s the cool surfer guy. There’s no way he’s interested in me.”
Zach nods. “Yeah, you’re right.”
A voice from behind us draws his attention away from me, and he calls out, “Tyson! Yo!” Then he rushes over to his best buddy with his arms outstretched for a bro hug.
I blink a few times, watching them and wondering why Zach thinks someone cool like Ryan would never be interested in someone like me.
And then I realize a more dangerous question: Why do I wish he was wrong?