Chapter Thirty-Four
There was a not-very-nice conversation at home when Lucy asked her mother if she could take the sewing machine to Daphne’s charity shop.
‘Why would you want to do that?’ her mother said.
She looked angry, but she could have just been upset. It can be hard for Lucy to tell, because this sort of reaction has been happening a lot and she doesn’t know if her mother is generally miserable or specifically angry.
She knew this question would come, though, and she’d tried to find an answer that wouldn’t make her mother so upset, but it was hard to figure out what that might be. Russell scares me was the truth, but if that got back to her father – or, worse, Russell – Lucy could be in even more strife.
I don’t have anywhere else to go would be another unacceptable answer, she knew, so she’d decided on a version that sounded self-sacrificing.
She’s spent enough years as a teenager, seeing how the world works, to understand that everyone likes it when girls and women sacrifice themselves.
So even though she needs to sew at the charity shop for her own safety and peace of mind, she knows that framing it as something she’s doing for others would be the way to get what she wants.
‘I know I’m in everyone’s way here,’ she told her mother. ‘And the machine is noisy.’
‘It’s not that noisy.’ Her mother now looked less angry. But was she really going to make Lucy have to say that it was Russell who’d complained she was too noisy?
‘Um …’ Lucy smiled quickly, apologetically.
Her mother sighed. ‘What’s at this shop that you like it so much?’
‘There’s space for me.’
That was the phrase she hadn’t rehearsed, and it was the one that changed her mother’s mood back to anger.
‘I can’t believe you’d say that! There’s space for you here!’
Lucy chewed the inside of her cheek. She wasn’t prepared to compromise on being at the charity shop – she needed to be there. But she didn’t want home to be harder than it already was, which it would be if her mother was angry at her.
There was a stand-off for a few seconds, then her mother sighed again.
‘Okay,’ she said. ‘I’ll drive you.’
The shop was in walking distance but it was too far to carry the sewing machine, and Lucy was glad of the lift.
Daphne looked so happy to see her when she walked in with the machine, and took her straight to the back room, where she’s now set up with everything she needs and lots of space.
‘Just like the old days,’ Daphne had said with a faraway look in her eyes. ‘After Ophelia sold the business, we had a lady out here doing alterations.’
Now that the school year’s started, Lucy’s still working at the dry-cleaning business after school – she needs the money to pay for fabric – then coming to the charity shop for a little while before going home for dinner.
Daphne gave her a key, as she promised, which means she can also come and go on weekends.
It’s Saturday today, and Daphne doesn’t normally come in, but she said something about how she’d rather be here than at home, and because Lucy understands that all too well, she didn’t ask questions.
‘All right, Lucy-Lu?’ Daphne says now as she pops her head around the corner and winks.
‘Yep!’ Lucy grins, and it feels like the first real smile she’s made in ages.
‘That’s my girl.’
Daphne disappears and Lucy feels a warmth in her chest. Almost like someone is hugging her.
It’s silly, but she feels like she belongs here at the shop.
More than at school or at home or at her parents’ business.
Maybe she just belongs with Daphne, who’s more of a grandmother to her than her actual grandmothers, who she doesn’t even know that well.
Families are weird, Lucy thinks, as she looks at a couple of patterns she found in the shop.
Each family runs by its own rules – or no rules – on the inside, while trying to look the same on the outside.
If everyone just stopped trying to look like everyone else, it would be easier.
The weirdness might not even happen then, because she’s convinced it’s the pretending that makes things weird.
In her family, the pressure at the dry-cleaning shop, in particular, to make sure their customers see them all getting along is part of the reason why Lucy’s moved her sewing to the charity shop. It’s too much stress, in addition to her worrying about what Russell is going to do.
The other day she thought he was like a shark swimming around at home and the business, not dangerous until he decides to strike – but Lucy never knows when that’s going to be, so she has to presume it could be at any time and protect herself accordingly.
Daphne understood that when Lucy told her. Said she’d known people like that and the only way to handle them was to avoid them. Lucy’s grateful to Daphne for helping her avoid Russell.
And maybe she’s avoiding her parents too, but that’s only because they’re not doing anything about Russell.
Yes, she understands it’s tricky – that her father especially would feel like his hands are tied.
She’s his child too, though. Her wellbeing should be an equal priority.
As it’s not, she has to look after herself.
‘Hey!’ someone says.
It’s Christina, and Lucy gets the jolt of nerves she always has around her. She keeps waiting for it to wear off.
It must be noticeable too, because the other day Daphne said, ‘You know, she’s just a person like you and me,’ and winked.
Lucy was so embarrassed, because it means she’s probably acting silly around Christina and she doesn’t intend to.
It’s just so strange to have her working in the shop, like she’s not someone who’s been in magazines and movies.
‘Hi,’ Lucy says.
Christina steps into the back room. ‘What are you working on?’
Lucy shrugs and holds up the patterns. ‘Still deciding.’
One is for a 1960s sleeveless swing dress with a high collar.
The other is for a longer dress that’s simpler around the neckline, and it would be easier for Lucy to do at this stage of her sewing life, but she isn’t sure she’d wear it.
She’d wear the swing dress. It’s fun and light and there’s still enough of summer left for it.
The longer dress would be good practice for the evening gowns she hopes to make one day, though.
She hasn’t told anyone that she really wants to get into evening wear.
Especially not Christina, even though she would know a bit about it because she’s worn evening gowns to fancy events – Lucy’s seen the photos.
‘Ooh, I love that one.’ Christina points to the swing dress. ‘I’d wear that.’
Lucy giggles, then is immediately embarrassed. Giggling in front of a movie star!
‘You like it too?’ Christina asks.
‘Yeah.’ Lucy clears her throat. ‘I, um, I can’t decide, though.’
‘Tell you what …’ Christina raises an eyebrow. ‘I’ll pay you to make me that swing dress.’
Lucy’s mouth falls open and her mind feels like it’s left her body. Christina wants to wear something she made? No. This can’t be real.
‘If you don’t want to make it for me, that’s cool,’ Christina adds quickly.
‘I just …’ She laughs. ‘It’s hard for me to go shopping for clothes.
If the shop owner recognises me they want me to tell other people where I bought the outfit.
And the clothes here are great, but most of them don’t suit me.
I’ve been back in Australia for ages and I don’t have enough clothes, so you’d be doing me a favour. ’
Not for a second does Lucy think this is true, but she’s hardly going to pass up this opportunity. Even if she should.
‘I’m not very good,’ she says. ‘I don’t think I’d feel right charging you.’
Christina looks thoughtful and folds her arms in front of her chest. ‘How about this: you make it for me, and if it doesn’t work out – if you don’t want to sell it to me – you wear it instead? We’re about the same size, yeah?’
In fact, Lucy is sure they’re exactly the same size, and they’re a similar height. So she nods.
‘And if you were going to make it for yourself anyway, then …’ Christina shrugs.
Lucy feels nervous about accepting the commission, but she doesn’t want to refuse it. She may never get this chance again.
‘Would you like to pick the fabric?’ she says.
‘Nup – I trust you!’ Christina smiles. ‘Measure me later? There are customers here. Oh! One of them’s looking at that suede jacket I had my eye on.’ She sighs. ‘I knew I should have put it aside.’
Then she leaves and it feels like a whoosh has gone out of the room.
Lucy starts to shake a little, nervous at what she’s taking on. Or excited. Yes, that’s it – she’s excited. This is amazing. Amazing.
And if Russell hadn’t been so mean to her she wouldn’t be here and it might never have happened. Not that she’s going to thank him for it. He doesn’t deserve it.
She’ll measure Christina later, then get started on the pattern for the dress, and … ah! Is this the feeling of her life really beginning? She can barely get her head around it.