Chapter Forty-Five
Some nights Lucy stays so late at the charity shop, with Daphne’s blessing, that she doesn’t get home until after her parents are asleep.
Russell isn’t asleep – she can hear him in his room, doing who knows what – so she’s as quiet as she can be.
He’s only caught her a couple of times, and both times there was a silent stand-off.
The second time, Lucy thought he looked less intimidating than before, but she didn’t stick around to confirm.
She’s become a phantom in her family life, but not in her own. In her own she feels strong – like she’s doing exactly what she’s meant to be doing.
It’s just hard to hold the line sometimes.
She’s still going to the dry-cleaning business after school, doing her hours.
It’s not even because she wants the money, although it’s helpful.
It’s to keep the peace as much as she can.
She’s still living in her parents’ house and they want her to work in the business, so she does.
But her real life is in the back room at the charity shop.
For a week or so she was worried it was all going to end. Daphne had been out of sorts for a while and finally told her that the shop would be closing, unless something extraordinary happened.
Then Christina came into the back room a couple of days ago, looking all happy. She’s been pretty happy a lot lately, which is nice.
Knowing Christina is one of the weirdest and best things in Lucy’s life.
She hasn’t told anyone at school that she hangs out with a movie star – although a couple of kids have been into the shop and seen Christina there – but she likes knowing it.
It feels like a secret weapon or something. Not that she’d use it.
‘I have an idea!’ Christina had said.
‘Oh yeah?’ Lucy said, pretending to be nonchalant.
‘Did you know that Daphne designs clothes?’
‘No.’ This made Lucy feel a certain kind of glee – that she and Daphne have this in common.
Christina then told her about renting the shop and how she wants to turn it into a boutique, with Daphne’s clothes in it – which she wants Lucy to make.
‘Oh, I …’ Lucy had to stop and think. ‘I don’t know if I’m ready yet. I’d have to be able to interpret the designs …’ She’d screwed up her forehead. ‘It’s a bit different to working from a pattern. I’d have to make my own patterns. Or something.’
When she’s made things for herself she’s worked mostly from instinct, which has led to some mistakes, but she’s learning. Once she’s left school she plans to take a course somewhere.
‘I believe in you,’ Christina had said, then left.
After that Lucy thought about it properly. Maybe she could do it. Especially if she wants to do it. And she does. What would be more cool than making Daphne’s clothes? Well, making her own, probably, but Daphne knows more about clothes than she does at the moment.
The problem is the amount of time she has.
School takes up a lot of it. Then there’s the hours in her parents’ business, and she has to do homework, then she’s sewing at the charity shop.
Something has to go, and the only thing she can think of is the job with her parents.
So that’s the conversation she needs to have today.
She waits until her parents have closed up for the day and are just about to head home. Luckily Russell isn’t here – she really didn’t want to have to talk about anything in front of him.
‘Have you got a minute?’ she says to her mum.
Her palms suddenly feel warm, along with her cheeks. No matter how much she wants to make this change, she wishes she didn’t have to have this hard conversation to do it.
‘Sure,’ her mother says, but she’s not looking at Lucy, she’s tidying the countertop.
‘Mum,’ Lucy says with a note of warning.
Connie glances up. ‘Mm?’
‘I need to talk to you and Dad.’
Connie frowns. ‘Okay. Rafael!’
Her father is in the back part of the shop and he takes his time joining them.
‘Yes?’ he says, sitting on a stool.
‘I, ah …’ Lucy swallows. ‘I need to tell you something.’
She decided on this wording beforehand: tell them, not talk to them about it or ask them.
Her parents look at each other.
‘Whatever it is, darling,’ her mother says, ‘we’ll support you.’
Lucy wants to say that she knows that isn’t the case, but she decides to wait to see how they’ll react first.
‘Are you pregnant?’ her mother blurts.
‘No!’ Lucy cries. ‘Why would you think that? I don’t even have a boyfriend!’
‘Sorry, sorry.’ Connie smiles brightly. ‘I just thought …’
Now she looks relieved. Which likely won’t last long.
‘It’s nothing like that.’ Lucy takes a breath. ‘I need to stop working here.’
Her parents both stare at her.
‘Why?’ her father says.
‘I have a lot on.’ This is both the truth and a very broad definition of it.
‘It’s that stupid charity shop, isn’t it?’ her mother says, shaking her head. ‘You’re spending too much time there. Your schoolwork will suffer.’
‘It’s not suffering,’ Lucy says, which is another truth. ‘You’ve seen my marks.’
She’s making sure she hands in every assignment on time and studies for all her tests, so there’s no way her parents can point to school as a reason for her to not do something.
‘You need to focus on what matters, Lucy,’ Connie says.
‘That’s what I’m doing,’ Lucy says. ‘The sewing is important to me.’
‘It can’t be more important than your family!’ her father says, clearly upset.
‘It’s not, Papa, but I love it and I’m good at it.’
She’s trying her best to sound calm, because even though she anticipated this reaction, that doesn’t mean it’s easy to handle.
‘How are you meant to earn money? You’re just there making things for yourself!’ he says.
Lucy isn’t sure how much to tell them about Christina’s plans, but she needs to show there’s a way forward.
‘I might have some pieces on commission,’ she says.
Her father throws his hands in the air. ‘Commission! That isn’t stable.’
‘It’ll be enough.’
‘And what are we meant to do here?’ her mother says. ‘We’ll have to hire someone.’
Who you’ll have to pay more to, Lucy thinks. ‘I wasn’t going to be here forever,’ she says.
Her parents look at each other again.
Her father frowns. ‘But this business is for you and Russell.’
Lucy is so startled she laughs. ‘Me and Russell? You mean, the Russell who wants me dead?’
‘Lucy!’ her father roars. Her mother puts her hand on his arm.
‘Dad, Russell will throw a party once I’m not here.’
And once I’m not at home. Moving out is her next plan, but she’s obviously not going to mention that now.
Christina told her the other day that the shop comes with a flat above, which has been empty for a while.
She gave Lucy the key and told her to use the flat if she needs to.
It wasn’t an invitation to move in, but tonight Lucy needs a place to stay.
The key is in her pocket. She can hardly wait to use it.
‘That is unkind,’ Rafael says.
Lucy sets her mouth. ‘Fine, then I’m a bitch.’
The injustice of what’s going on here – that Russell can threaten her, menace her, and her father will still prioritise him, and her mother hasn’t tried to change it – is enough to make Lucy want to never speak to them again.
She’s already accepted that she’s on her own.
That once she moves out she may never see her parents again.
It scares her to feel that alone. But then she remembers that she can make new connections – like Daphne and Christina.
They’re interested in her, they like her, so she can’t be a bad person if that’s the case. She can start over.
‘I’ll finish up next week,’ she says, and picks up her bag – already packed with a toothbrush and other things she needs overnight.
‘Lucy …’ Her mother steps closer. ‘Let’s talk about it over dinner.’
‘I’m not coming home,’ Lucy says, stepping back.
‘Where are you going?’ Connie’s voice rises.
‘Somewhere I’m safe.’
Lucy turns away before they can answer. She hears her mother crying, but she can’t pay attention to that. She has to look after herself.
She has to be strong enough to make her own way now. And she will be.