Chapter 5
Chapter Five
Having arrived at Brown it wasn’t even measured in the way Debra expected it to be. It was exploratory. Curious. As though Billie was mapping her with her palms and unveiling the places that made Debra’s breath stutter inch by inch.
Debra’s fingers gripped the arm of the couch behind her. She wasn’t sure when she’d reached for it, but she needed something to hold on to.
“Good.” Billie smiled. “Let go of everything else. Hold only what steadies you.”
Her lips brushed Debra’s shoulder through the robe. A careful, lingering drag that set her nerves alight. Billie’s hands slid up to her ribs, guiding Debra’s body back against her.
The heat of Billie’s body against her spine was almost overwhelming. “Billie—I.”
The way Billie stilled—even just for a heartbeat—made Debra feel that her name mattered. That saying it meant something.
“Tell me what you feel.”
Debra swallowed down the emotion lodged in her throat. “Seen.”
A slow exhale breezed over her skin. Billie pressed her forehead to the side of Debra’s head above her cheek, a gesture that felt far more intimate than anything else that was happening.
“I see everything you are,” Billie whispered. “Every part you’ve forgotten.”
Her hands drifted lower, those delicate fingertips grazing over Debra’s hips, her stomach, and the soft lines time had made. Billie touched her as though they were precious, rather than flaws to be hidden.
The robe slipped further down Debra’s arms. Her skin prickled at the cool air, then warmed instantly under Billie’s touch. “Still feeling okay?”
“Yes,” Debra whimpered. “Please, don’t stop.”
Billie slid an arm around Debra’s waist, drawing her fully back into her body. The strength in her held Debra effortlessly, grounding her in place while her other hand explored her skin with devastating patience.
Debra’s head tipped back onto Billie’s shoulder as she lifted a hand, her fingers tracing the line of Debra’s throat with a tenderness that made her eyes burn.
“You deserve to be wanted like this,” Billie breathed. “Without apology. Without shrinking for anyone.”
Debra’s stomach clenched at the sheer certainty in Billie’s tone. “You make me feel like I haven’t disappeared.”
Billie turned her head, her nose brushing Debra’s cheek as her lips hovered impossibly close. “That’s because you haven’t.”
Debra trembled against Billie when the hand at her waist tightened, and the breath at her ear grew more ragged. The space between them had already dissolved entirely, but Debra felt how hard Billie was working to keep control.
“Debra.” Billie nipped at her earlobe. “If only you knew how you looked right now…”
Those words unravelled Debra. Her knees wobbled, but Billie caught her. She suspected this woman would always catch her.
“Easy now.” Billie smiled as she guided her down gently onto the couch behind them.
The robe pooled at Debra’s waist, her breath quickening as Billie knelt in front of her.
There was nothing submissive about the moment, just the intensity of someone choosing her.
Billie’s hands slid up her thighs, slow enough to drag a desperate heat all the way through Debra’s body.
“This is all on your terms, you know that.”
“I-I know.”
“So, tell me what you need and where you need me.”
Debra’s lips parted, but she couldn’t form the words. So she reached for Billie’s wrist and guided her hand between her legs.
“You’re so beautiful.” Billie spread Debra’s lips and gathered her wetness. “Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.”
“I-I…” Debra’s mind went blank when Billie teased her way between her lips. “I…it’s hard to feel that way.”
“I know, but you’ve got me right here, craving every inch of you.”
Billie’s eyes darkened as she dipped her head and tasted everything Debra had to offer.
The room blurred, and Debra’s pulse pounded when Billie’s touch grew more purposeful.
Still, Billie didn’t rush. Even as Debra’s breath became uneven, even as her fingers curled into the velvet beneath her, Billie moved as though she had all the time in the world.
God, it felt as though something was being stitched back together inside of her.
Her hands traced up Debra’s thighs again, the warmth of her palms lingering long after they’d passed. Every glide and every gentle press made Debra feel more present in her own body than she had in years.
“Look at me.”
Debra did and immediately wished she hadn’t. God, the way Billie looked back at her…
Hunger wasn’t the word. Nor was it want, or need, or worship. It was something entirely different…something deeper, more raw, as though Billie was seeing every version of her at once.
“You don’t hide from yourself in here,” Billie said softly. “Not with me.”