Chapter 14
Chapter Fourteen
Billie stood barefoot at the window, her favourite coffee cup cradled in her hand, mesmerised by the steam as it rose slowly, only to vanish.
Everything around her looked the same—the immaculate lines of the furniture and the art she’d bought because it matched the walls—and yet, it wasn’t.
The air in her apartment this morning held a kind of gentleness she didn’t recognise.
Today, everything felt different.
Her jacket lay over the back of a chair, not hung neatly away as it should have been. There was an empty whiskey glass on the counter, and she’d left her shoes by the door. Small things, out of place. Human things, as they should be.
For the first time since Billie had moved in here several years ago, she didn’t rush to fix any of the mess. Instead, she sipped her coffee, enjoying the burn as it slid down her throat. And then she sighed. The stillness that once steadied her now felt too big.
Memories of last night came flooding back in fragments.
The warmth of Debra’s hand as she held Billie’s, the look in her eyes as she’d poured her heart out…
the beautiful rise and fall of her chest as they both lay there spent, but the one thing that remained firmly at the front of Billie’s mind was the calm that had followed.
She didn’t know calm. Not that kind of calm. Billie, when she was with another woman, the way she had been with Debra last night, was used to uncertainty and anger. She was used to bruises and belittling. She was used to taking the blame for whatever her ex decided to throw at her each night.
Billie knew she should feel riddled with regret.
That was what her rules were for, to protect her from mornings like this, but when she tried to summon just a hint of it, there was none to be found.
What she felt instead was an unfamiliar ache.
An ache to see Debra again. An ache for the years she’d held herself back and made herself invisible when it suited her.
An ache for the love she had missed out on, not only giving but receiving, too.
Her gaze drifted across the room. Her apartment had always been mostly impersonal. It was merely somewhere she could disappear to between fittings and meetings and the noise of everyone else’s lives.
But now, she could imagine someone else here.
Not a client, not a body to occupy the space beside her, but someone who laughed when she burned toast, or someone who left a scarf draped over the back of the couch. Someone who touched her without agenda or expectation.
Someone…like Debra.
That thought startled her enough that she set the cup down a little too hard. Coffee sloshed onto the counter, but she simply wiped it away with the edge of her sleeve, muttering under her breath.
Careful. This is how it starts.
She leaned against the counter and folded her arms as she breathed out slowly. She still felt guarded, it was hard not to given how long she’d avoided the kind of intimacy of last night, but it didn’t feel quite as necessary this morning.
Her phone buzzed on the counter. A new message from Nina.
Billie didn’t want to deal with her assistant today, she was still on some unexpected high from her evening with Debra, but she still had a job to do. She had fittings to take care of, and suppliers to deal with.
She lifted her phone and braced herself.
Meeting requests have been updated. Call me when you’re free.
Billie locked her phone and slid it aside.
She wanted five more minutes of peace before she had to face her life.
Only now, she was looking forward to what the day would bring.
Maybe she could drop Debra a text so she didn’t think Billie had gone cold on her again.
Perhaps she could look at some recommendations for restaurants in the area and invite her along.
Maybe you could go slow this morning and arrive at work whenever you arrive.
That wouldn’t go down very well with Nina, but Billie paid her handsomely so she could hold the fort just this once. Billie needed to get her night with Debra out of her system before she dared to step foot inside the shop.
Yes, work could wait a little while longer.
Instead, she picked up her cup and walked through the apartment, her fingers trailing absently along the back of the couch. This space still belonged to her, but it no longer felt like something she needed to protect from intrusion.
When she reached the window again, Billie looked down at the street below.
People rushed for the tube, others queued in long lines for buses, and while the world was already awake and the daily chaos had begun, she simply stopped and took a breath.
She wasn’t na?ve enough to think she could rewrite herself overnight, but she wasn’t completely against the idea of trying.
She finished her coffee and set her cup aside, deciding it would be wise to get ready for the day ahead.
The world and her business didn’t stop turning just because she’d had mind-blowing sex with Debra Allen last night.
People were waiting for her. They were relying on her expertise and her excellent eye for detail.
And Billie? Well, she was just looking forward to some London air in her lungs the moment she stepped outside.
By the time Billie had reached Savile Row, the street was already alive with delivery vans and conversation from the neighbouring businesses. Normally, she’d have been there before any of them with her coat off and her coffee poured, but today she was late.
Unapologetically late.
As she stepped inside, everything looked the same. Everything was in its place, but Billie couldn’t shake the feeling that she wasn’t.
Nina looked up from the front desk, her iPad in hand. Her hair was pinned much tighter than usual, and her expression was even more concerning. “Morning, Miss Brown.”
“Nina.” Billie offered her a single nod as she shrugged her overcoat off and hung it in its usual place. “How long have you been here?”
“Since seven,” Nina replied as she focused on her iPad again.
“You were early. Dedication is what I like to see.”
“You’re not.”
“Well.” Billie lifted her brows. “I see we’ve decided to start the day by stating the obvious.”
“We had clients at nine. As stated in the schedule.” Nina’s fingers hovered over the screen of her tablet. “I handled them.”
“I’m sure you did.” Billie crossed the floor to the counter and straightened a stack of order forms. “You’re excellent at your job. That’s why I hired you.”
“Right.”
The bite in her voice didn’t go unnoticed, but Billie didn’t rise to it.
“I appreciate your dedication,” Billie said as she fixed the cuff of her shirt. “But let’s be clear about boundaries. The view may well look similar from where you’re standing, but our positions are not. I hired an assistant, and that’s precisely what you are.”
Nina’s nostrils flared. “Understood.”
“Good.” Billie lifted the coffee cup from the counter, the one she’d spotted the moment she’d walked through the door. Thankfully, it was still warm. Nina may have been upset with her, but she hadn’t forgotten how Billie liked her coffee. “If anyone asks for me, I’m in my office.”
Without waiting for an answer, Billie turned and walked down the corridor, her boots beating steadily against the polished floor.
She didn’t glance back, but she could still feel Nina’s glare—a mixture of resentment and something Billie had no interest in deciphering anymore—as she slipped inside her office and closed the door.
The moment she sat down, she welcomed the silence.
And then she reached for her phone inside her pocket. Perhaps she could send Debra a message. It had been years since she’d texted a woman for anything other than business, but if she’d learned anything last night, it was that she could be this person around Debra. Actually, Debra encouraged it.
Only as she unlocked her phone, Debra had already texted her.
Good morning. Should I apologise for keeping you up so late?
The smile that worked its way to Billie’s lips was new, but she welcomed it.
I wasn’t kept up. I stayed willingly.
Billie closed her eyes and tugged her bottom lip between her teeth.
Mm. I guess I wasn’t so bad after all.
Bad? God, if Debra only knew just how good she was. Still, Billie could tease her a little. She wanted to tease her a little.
Ms Allen, you’re awfully confident this morning.
Three dots quickly appeared. Billie hated to admit it, but she loved the idea of Debra hanging on her every word.
You didn’t seem to mind last night.
Billie smirked. This woman had her right where she wanted her.
I didn’t mind at all.
Billie looked up at her closed office door. Could she stay in here for the next few hours, uninterrupted, while she texted back and forth with Debra? She couldn’t, but she wished she could.
Good because I can still feel your hands on me. Which is very distracting while I’m trying to drink my coffee.
Fuck. Billie was in trouble here.
You’re going to make me think about things I shouldn’t be thinking about at this hour.
The phone on Billie’s desk started to ring, dragging her away from her highly enjoyable exchange. She pressed the speaker with a huff.
“Yes?”
Nina cleared her throat. “Mrs Rothwell has booked a full service at three today. Should I confirm, or would you like to do that yourself?”
Billie swallowed. “I’ll handle it. Thank you.”
The call disconnected, something Nina wouldn’t usually do, but Billie wouldn’t dwell on it right now. She had much more pressing things to take care of. She brought up her message thread again and smiled at Debra’s response.
That’s a shame. I was hoping you would be thinking about them.
And then another message.
Did I scare you off?
Billie smiled as she closed her eyes. She didn’t know the last time another woman had been worried about scaring her off, or even caring if they had.
Absolutely not. I had a call come through. I’m at work.