Chapter 16 #2
Debra cracked one eye open, smiling as she groaned, her body cocooned in her heavy duvet.
She hovered in that half-conscious space where the memory of the night before stuck firm in her mind, sighing when she recalled Billie’s hands, her breath, that laugh sending sparks through her as she’d pulled Debra closer in the dark.
Another contented sigh, and then she stretched out…reaching across the mattress in search of Billie’s warm skin, but she only found cold sheets. Her hand drifted over the empty space. The imprint of Billie’s body remained faintly in the mattress, but she was gone.
Debra’s eyes opened fully then.
Nothing looked disturbed. Her hoodie still hung over the chair in the window, the book she’d been reading resting where she’d left it…
and the glass from last night was sitting on her bedside table.
Nothing in the room suggested that someone else had been there at all, except for that unmistakable scent of Billie’s perfume that remained in the air.
God, it just made the lonely, empty space feel even lonelier.
She sat up slowly and pulled the duvet around herself. Perhaps it would shield her from the ache working its way to her chest. There was no note or message. She didn’t even recall a goodbye as Billie kissed her shoulder. There was…nothing.
She swallowed down an unexpected wave of emotion in her throat and sighed. It wasn’t that she was hurt exactly. It was…disappointment. A pang of something she couldn’t quite put her finger on.
She rose, crossed the room, and checked the hallway anyway. As she’d suspected, the place was empty. God, her flat felt different without Billie in it. It felt hollow in places she hadn’t realised could feel hollow.
She pressed a hand to the doorframe, grounding herself.
Maybe Billie had been called into work. Maybe she hadn’t wanted to wake Debra.
Or maybe she just wasn’t the type to wake in another woman’s bed.
But Debra wasn’t na?ve. She’d watched Billie last night, and the way she’d kissed with equal parts hunger and hesitation.
She’d noticed the way her eyes softened before she pulled them back into piercing focus.
Billie, sadly, moved through life like someone who had learned to restrain every instinct that could make her vulnerable.
It seemed that staying the night had been a slip, and leaving before dawn had been the correction.
Debra exhaled a slow breath and pushed her hair back.
She wasn’t angry or upset. She wasn’t even surprised.
She was just aware. Aware that Billie was fighting something she wasn’t ready to discuss.
Aware that they were treading into territory where desire and fear intertwined.
Aware…that this wasn’t going to be simple.
Her heart leapt into her throat when her phone vibrated on the bedside table. She rushed towards it, hoping it was the very woman she’d fallen asleep curled around last night. But it wasn’t Billie. It was Maeve.
Catch up soon? I miss you! Lots of love x
Debra would love to catch up with Maeve. She’d also love to have something to report in the Billie department, but that wasn’t looking likely. Not this morning.
She locked her phone and lowered herself to the edge of the bed, allowing herself one more moment to feel that disappointment before she set it aside and started her day.
Whatever Billie was running from, she wouldn’t push her about it. Not when last night had shown Debra how deeply Billie wanted her, even if she didn’t quite know how to hold that want in the light of day.
Instead, she unlocked her phone again and opened her messages with Billie.
She would only send one. Something that didn’t require answers that Billie wasn’t ready to give, but something that reminded Billie that Debra was here, she wasn’t in any rush, and she could give her time if that’s what was needed.
Good morning. I hope you got home safely.
She sent it off and closed her eyes. She would be patient, she would be quiet, and she would be willing to wait and see how Billie would eventually answer.
Billie swallowed as she stared down at her phone. Debra’s message sat on the screen, small but typically Debra, and Billie didn’t know what to do with it. She didn’t know whether to respond at all. She should, Debra deserved that, but Billie was worried about where this was headed.
Good morning. I hope you got home safely.
She smiled when she read over the message again.
It wasn’t loaded, and there was no accusation in it.
There was no questioning as to why she’d left or hadn’t said goodbye.
Just that care Billie had seen from Debra on more than one occasion now.
And that was the problem. It was a tone Billie had never known what to do with.
She set her phone face down on the desk, then flipped it over again immediately. The message still sat there. It wasn’t going to vanish, and it wasn’t going to solve or reply to itself.
She deserves a reply, you fucking coward!
Just not one that opened anything she couldn’t close again.
Billie took a deep breath and started to type.
Good morning. I did, thank you. Have a great day.
That was enough. It was polite and neutral. It was impersonal enough that nothing dangerous could slip through.
The moment the message left her screen, Billie’s heart squeezed. She knew she’d done the right thing, she had to distance herself, but it didn’t make her feel any less guilty or terrible about it all.
The door clicked open without so much as a knock.
Nina stepped inside, closing it behind her. “Miss Brown, I—”
Billie quickly locked her phone and stared down at her weekly planner. “You’re to start knocking again from today.”
Nina paused, her back almost pressed to the door. “Of course. I-I just wanted to check whether you needed me to—”
“We’re discussing yesterday first.” Billie looked up, her tone cold. Nina had thoroughly pissed her off yesterday. “Your comment when I arrived with a client. Your behaviour on the shop floor. The implication you chose to make.”
A flush crept up Nina’s neck, but her chin lifted. “I was only joking.”
“No,” Billie said evenly. “You weren’t.” She folded her hands on top of her desk and focused fully on Nina.
“You stepped out of line. Not just professionally—which is already unacceptable—but personally, too. I’ve already made it very clear on several occasions that whatever happens between us stays inside this office.
It never leaves this office. It never touches clients.
And it certainly never determines your behaviour towards them. ”
Nina’s mouth pressed into a thin line, and then… “It’s hard to see you with other women when—”
“Stop,” Billie cut in, firmly enough to halt Nina mid-sentence. “You’re not entitled to jealousy here, Nina. You agreed that what we were doing was a mutually convenient arrangement. That’s all.”
Nina’s eyes dipped. “It didn’t feel convenient in the end.”
“Well, it was,” Billie said that with a finality that left no room for argument. “And it’s now over. Completely.”
She watched those words land. Nina swallowed, her anger collapsing into wounded instead. Billie refused to engage with it. Nina had known what it was between them, and that was that.
“You work for me, and you’re excellent at your job, but I won’t tolerate another step out of line. Am I understood?”
Nina nodded once. “Yes, Miss Brown.”
“Good. You may go.”
Nina placed her hand on the door and sighed. “I am sorry for yesterday.”
She slipped out when Billie didn’t respond, the door closing with more care than when she’d entered. The silence that followed pressed in immediately. Billie leaned back in her chair, exhaled slowly, and pressed the heel of her hand to her forehead.
Nina had been dealt with, that part was done, but the unease inside of her didn’t settle. One inappropriate assistant she could handle, but her own spiralling emotions? Oh, that was an entirely different battlefield.
She considered opening her messages with Debra again, but she’d crossed too many lines already. Staying the night, allowing herself the joy of sleep in another woman’s bed, waking up against a body she wasn’t meant to crave.
But the worst part was that she’d wanted it. Every reckless second and every shared breath…God, she’d wanted it all. That alone was reason enough to slow down and rebuild distance, to…reinforce the boundary she’d let crumble.
She straightened her desk, opened her laptop, and forced her mind back into the grind of invoices, measurements, and tailored perfection.
Because that was just how it was supposed to be.