Chapter 29
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Debra woke slowly. The light that filtered through the curtains was that soft, grey London morning light, the very light that made her want to stay in bed all day and not face the world.
The other side of the bed was warm but empty, the indentation beside her proof that last night hadn’t been imagined.
That she had, in fact, fallen asleep in Billie Brown’s arms.
She lay still and listened to the sounds coming from beyond the bedroom door.
She could hear Billie’s voice, businesslike and professional as always.
Only this time, it didn’t have that cutting edge to it.
It didn’t make the hairs on the back of Debra’s neck stand on end. No, it made her smile instead.
She climbed from her bed and pulled one of her jumpers on, then strolled down the hallway, stopping just short of the kitchen doorway.
Billie stood by the counter with her phone tucked between her shoulder and her ear, that gorgeous dark hair a beautiful mess. She was cradling her cup in both hands, wearing one of Debra’s t-shirts, the hem brushing her bare thighs. God, it was disarming how normal she looked like that.
“Yeah, that’s fine,” Billie said. “I’m not logged into the system anymore, remember?”
Debra leaned against the frame, watching and enjoying the moment.
“No, it was the best thing for me. I don’t want access outside of work hours anymore.
I need to keep that boundary.” Billie paused and nodded.
“Mmhmm. Yeah. Thank you for checking in, though.” Another pause, then a small smile tugged at Billie’s mouth.
“If you’re comfortable handling the two fittings this morning, then that’s perfect. I’ll be in by midday.”
Debra sensed something ignite within her. It wasn’t quite relief, but rather…admiration. Billie’s words came across neither tense nor domineering…no, they were composed and precise, but more importantly, they were authentic.
“Okay. Thanks, Nina. I appreciate it.”
She ended the call and turned, her smile widening the moment her gaze landed on Debra. “Oh, sorry. I didn’t realise you were up.”
Debra crossed the space and leaned in, kissing Billie’s cheek. “I didn’t mean to eavesdrop.”
“Oh, it’s fine. It was just work.” She set her phone down on the kitchen island, suddenly looking a little sheepish. “I don’t keep the schedule app anymore.” Billie poured Debra a cup of coffee and handed it over. “I prefer to switch off when I leave the shop these days.”
“That’s quite the change considering how tied down you were to the place the last time we were…not together, but you know?”
“I do know.” Billie took Debra’s hand and held onto it. “It’s important to me that I can shut down once I leave. I don’t want anything to distract me from you, Debra.”
Debra’s pulse kicked up a little. She’d dreamed of seeing this side of Billie on so many occasions now, but to actually have it? It was going to take her a moment or two to get used to it. “Am I right in thinking that Nina is handling your clients this morning?”
“Mmhmm. She is. She’s always been excellent at her job, so I know the place is in safe hands.” Billie lifted her coffee and sipped, closing her eyes as she smiled against the rim. “God, you have to tell me what blend this is. It’s so good.”
Debra narrowed her eyes. “Oh, I don’t think I can do that.”
“Why?”
“Because.” Debra leaned in and kissed Billie slowly. “If I do, you’ll buy it for your place, and I won’t have a reason to lure you over here.”
Billie unexpectedly wrapped an arm around Debra’s waist and drew her in. Their bodies pressed together, and she almost lost her mind. “I come here for you, not your coffee.”
“Is that so?”
Billie lifted Debra’s chin gently with two fingers and smiled down at her. “You are the only thing I think about lately. If I didn’t have to work today, I wouldn’t be. I’d be here with you, or at my place with you…but either way, I’d be with you, okay?”
“Nina can’t handle the entire day without you?” Debra felt selfish for putting that out there, but she still had to ask. If Nina could handle this morning, why not the afternoon too?
“I have a new client coming in at two. I like to be there for their first fitting to build rapport if nothing else. My name is above the door, so clients expect to deal with me.”
Debra paused long enough for Billie to notice.
“What is it?”
Debra dipped her gaze and cleared her throat. “May I ask you something?”
“Always.”
“When I went to the shop yesterday, Nina mentioned that you don’t offer the full service anymore.”
Billie simply lifted a shoulder. “No, I don’t.”
“Can I ask why?”
Billie considered the question as she rested back against the counter.
Even as she did so, her arm remained around Debra’s waist, holding her securely in place.
“At first, I removed it because I thought that you and I would reconnect.” Billie smiled weakly.
“I didn’t want to be offering something that intimate to other women if you were in my life. It didn’t sit right with me.”
Debra’s fingers clenched around her coffee cup.
“But then, even when I knew you weren’t going to be around anymore, I couldn’t bring myself to put it back on the website.”
Debra’s brows drew together. “Why?”
“Because it doesn’t align with who I am now.” The words landed with surprising weight. “I’m not ashamed of what I used to do, and I understand why I did it, but that version of me was about control and containment. About surviving. I don’t want to live there again.”
“I’m proud of how far you’ve come, Billie.” Debra lowered her cup to the counter and draped her arms over Billie’s shoulders. “You should be proud of yourself, too.”
“I don’t want to sell access to myself. Not physically and not emotionally. I want my work to be my work, and my intimacy to be…mine. Ours.”
The kitchen fell very still. Debra reached out and brushed her thumb over Billie’s bottom lip, aching to take her back into the bedroom and show her just how much she craved everything that she was. “Ours…”
“I don’t want anyone else, Debra. Only you. If…you’re sure you want me.”
“Want you?” Debra lifted a brow and cupped Billie’s face in her hands. “Oh, I want all of you, Billie. Every last inch of you.”
“I do feel it.” Billie visibly swallowed. “The way you look at me, the care you have for me, I feel it all.”
“Do you think it can be enough? Do you think I can be enough for you?”
Billie bent her knees, wrapped her hands around the backs of Debra’s thighs, and hoisted her onto the kitchen island. She pressed her hands to the counter on either side of Debra’s body, leaned in, and whispered, “You’re already too much for me.”
“Billie…”
“I want this, Debra. I want you, whatever our mornings together end up being, and I want to leave work each day knowing at some point I’m going to be kissing you.”
Debra melted into a kiss that spoke of hope for the future.
A kiss that reminded her that Billie was human, and flawed, but deserving of a life she loved.
If Debra could feature in that, then she was going to do everything in her power to be what Billie needed.
God only knew how long she’d been miserable for herself.
She drew back slowly when Billie’s hands started to wander. “Not now. No way. You have to leave for work, and I cannot bear the thought of stopping anything you’re about to start.”
Billie smirked as she took her bottom lip between her teeth.
“Oh, don’t you look at me like that.”
“I can’t help it. You’re the hottest woman I’ve ever laid eyes on.” Billie dipped her head towards Debra’s ear and nipped at her earlobe. “Can I have you tonight? All to myself?”
Sweet Jesus. Billie could have anything she wanted tonight. “Y-yes.”
“Perfect. I’ll control myself just for you until then.”
The walk to Savile Row felt entirely different today. It wasn’t the city—London was still London, busy and indifferent. Nothing had changed out here, but Debra had. Perhaps even Billie, too. Oh, you know she has. Debra smiled to herself as she looked down between them.
Billie hadn’t let go of her hand once.
From the moment they’d stepped out of Debra’s building, Billie had taken it. Getting into Debra’s car, it had remained in place. And now, as they crossed the road to Brown & Co., the warmth of it lit Debra up inside. Billie’s soft, gentle hand…in hers. Belonging exactly there.
Debra kept glancing sideways at her, but she couldn’t help it.
This morning, she felt as though she was trying to memorise every small detail that proved the last twelve hours or so had been real.
Billie in her kitchen, wearing Debra’s T-shirt, her messy hair, Billie’s hands on her waist as she’d whispered ours like it was a promise and not simply a meaningless word.
Debra sighed contentedly when Billie squeezed her hand, her thumb brushing the side of her knuckle in a soft, absent motion that made Debra’s entire being ache.
When she’d finalised her divorce, she hadn’t been looking for love.
Most days, she was merely plodding through, hoping she would feel marginally happy as she slipped into bed each night.
But now? Now, she couldn’t imagine not having Billie in her life.
She’d tried it, hated it, and now that was part of the past. It could stay there, along with Billie’s own dreadful memories.
“You’re staring,” Billie murmured without looking over. “You have been since we left the car park.”
Debra huffed out a laugh. “Am I?”
Billie turned her head, those eyes dark and steady. “Yes.”
“And what exactly are you going to do about it?”
Billie’s mouth twitched into a smirk, sending Debra’s blood south. “Nothing.”
Debra arched a brow when Billie dipped her gaze briefly to her mouth, then to her eyes again, the restraint in her expression so obvious that Debra nearly stopped walking just to test it.
“I’m going to behave,” Billie said, her jaw set. “I promised.”
“Oh, you promised, did you?”