Chapter 5 #2
Day three of not spending the night with Cal. Last night was a nail biter. It’s so tempting when he’s right across the street and all my traitorous body remembers is the never-ending pleasure. The man has skills, I’ll give him that.
But casual has its limits, right? Five nights in a week was already far more than I’ve ever dared for a casual fling.
Also, when I texted Cal that we needed to end things, followed up by lots of very good reasons, his response was a big fat nothing.
The least he could do is text back OK. Would it have killed him to say he’ll miss me but it’s for the best? I don’t ask for much.
I sip my wine and let the conversation flow around me, only half listening at our regular Sunday night family dinner at my parents’ house.
It’s nice to have cozy family time where I don’t have to think about anyone besides my beloved family members—Mom, Dad, Finn, Cooper and now Rowan, Cooper’s fiancée.
Rowan’s smart and hardworking. Her caramel brown hair falls in a shine of silk to her shoulders. It’s her natural color too.
Anyway, I love Rowan. She fits right in with our family. So well that Mom made her partner in her wedding planning business. At one time, Mom hoped that would be me, and now that door’s closed forever. Mom didn’t even ask me if I was okay with it.
I’m really trying to be okay with it. Part of me feels like I was passed over. I push down the uneasy feeling of not living up to expectations that’s dogged me my entire life where Mom’s concerned.
“It’s nice that Cal’s getting settled in town,” Mom chirps, disturbing my peaceful Cal-free time. “I invited him for dinner tonight—”
“What?” Adrenaline shoots through me. I’m not prepared. I didn’t even put on makeup. I have to look like I’m perfectly fine moving on and not thinking of him at all!
Mom sighs. “But he couldn’t make it.”
I take a slow, deep breath.
She continues, “I didn’t want to bring up such a sensitive topic with him, but I hope his ex, Rayna, wasn’t spiteful enough to take his stuff before he had a chance to clear out his apartment.”
Rayna. I have so many questions about the woman he lived with. I’ve never lived with any man. I’d have to be serious about them to even consider it because separating your stuff once it’s over is more pain than I want to sign up for.
I spear a green bean. “Would she do that?”
Mom finishes chewing a piece of roast beef and dabs her mouth with a napkin.
“Breakups can be messy, and a woman scorned and all that. She put in a year of her thirties only to be disappointed with mismatched expectations. I think if you decide to live with someone, it should be clear if it’s a situation of convenience, like saving on rent, or a step on the commitment train. ”
I still, surprised to hear Cal and Rayna were together for a year. That doesn’t sound like a commitment-phobe to me. Now that I think about it, they must’ve been together for a while for her to expect a proposal on Valentine’s Day. He bounced back surprisingly fast. Disturbing.
Cooper mouths at me, “Commitment train.” I suppress a laugh. Mom always uses funny old-fashioned lingo. I think it’s from watching too many black-and-white screwball romantic comedies. Cooper maintains it’s her natural personality.
Mom continues, slicing off another bite of roast beef. “Wouldn’t it be easier if couples said right up front what they want from a relationship?”
“Like you and I did?” Dad asks, his brown eyes dancing with amusement.
Mom shoots him a dark look. They were the farthest thing from open communicators in the beginning.
At one point in their marriage, they went to couples counseling to get better at the whole communication thing.
They were very open about it with us kids.
Dad still likes to give her a hard time, though to be fair he’s like that with everyone. It’s his way.
“Absolutely,” Rowan says in answer to Mom’s question on couples and their expectations. Rowan’s blue eyes land on Cooper with total adoration. “That’s how I was with Cooper from the beginning. Open and honest.”
Cooper inclines his head, neither agreeing nor disagreeing. I don’t remember them being all that clear with each other. Wasn’t there a huge problem with Rowan going from jilted bride to being “rescued” by my brother? I seem to remember a lot of bumps on that ride.
“Thank you, Rowan,” Mom says.
We eat in silence for a few moments. Dad’s a great cook.
Finn shoves his brown hair away from his eyes while declaring with a strong and sure voice, “I’ve been clear with Olivia with expectations and all.
” Except they’re only email pen pals. Olivia lives in LA and travels with my famous friend Shayla Adler as her right-hand woman.
Finn’s too young for Olivia. He’s still in college, but he doesn’t care about their four-year age difference.
He met her last year, and his romantic poet heart was instantly smitten.
Olivia, on the other hand, was baffled as to what in the world he wanted with her.
I bet he writes her poems and she tells him about her busy schedule.
“You mean for your email relationship?” Cooper asks Finn.
Finn points his bread at Cooper. “Things can evolve.”
Mom smiles. She and Finn share the same romantic tendencies.
Cooper smirks. “Keep emailing her your poetry. I’m sure you’ll get there.”
Rowan elbows Cooper.
“Ow!”
Rowan gives Finn a sweet smile. “I’m sure Olivia appreciates hearing from you.”
After we finish eating dinner, Mom and Dad exchange a silent communication that has me sitting up straighter. Something’s up.
“Your dad and I have an announcement,” Mom says. “We’re doing a vow-renewal ceremony in April, and you’re all invited.”
“Like a wedding?” I ask.
“A little more low key,” Dad says. “It’s a romantic way of affirming the relationship.”
Mom totally coached him on that. I about die trying not to laugh. Cooper can’t hold it in, and Dad tosses a green bean at him.
“Yes,” Mom enthuses. “What could be more romantic than saying I’d marry you all over again? Right, warrior beast?”
“Right, warrior princess,” Dad says, his warm gaze radiating love. They set a high bar. Okay, their nicknames are weird, but that’s just them.
Mom turns to Rowan. “And it could be a wonderful add-on to our business.”
Rowan jumps in enthusiastically. “Weddings, sologamy ceremonies, and vow renewals. We can cover all generations. I love it.”
Sologamy is a ceremony where a woman marries herself, pledging a commitment to self-care and love. Guys can do it, too, but so far none have. It’s something that Mom’s former business partner, Ally, got into, and now it’s part of their business.
Mom beams. “Speaking of sologamy, Mackenzie, Rowan, how would you like to have a sologamy ceremony? Maybe with some friends? I’m sure Harper would be on board.”
“I’d love to,” Rowan says.
Mom claps.
“Sure,” I mumble. Rowan’s doing it, and it would look bad if I said no. I do want to support Mom’s, well, their business now, even if dressing up for a ceremony at a place for weddings isn’t really my thing.
Rowan smiles. “I should try out all of our business options.”
“We need to get married before we can have a vow renewal,” Cooper says.
Rowan cups his jaw and kisses him. “I look forward to it.” They’re planning a simple justice-of-the-peace ceremony this summer.
Some people might find that strange considering she works at the best wedding venue in the area, but it’s also where her first wedding was supposed to be held, so it’s understandable she wouldn’t want to go back to the scene of the crime.
“I’m not sure about Harper,” I say. I can’t imagine my cousin doing something so touchy-feely as a sologamy ceremony.
“Of course Harper,” Mom says. “She’s happily single like you. This would just affirm that. You are happily single, aren’t you?”
I stiffen, sensing dangerous territory. When Mom gets started on my single status, I throw up a wall. “Yes, of course. Absolutely.”
I pour more wine for Mom and then myself. “Speaking of add-ons at work, we have this situation with two clients that could be a conflict of interest. Owen thinks we should drop one of them, but I say why lose the revenue? There has to be a workaround.”
“I’m sure you’ll figure out an equitable solution,” Mom says. “I have faith in you.”
“Thanks, Mom.”
“Kick some ass,” Dad says.
“Josh!” Mom exclaims. She doesn’t like curse words, proclaiming them unladylike. Her mom really did a number on her with all the lady rules. I adapt them to suit myself.
The corner of Dad’s mouth curls up. “What?”
“Her work isn’t a karate studio, and we don’t say that word at dinner.”
Dad stifles a laugh. He made sure we were all trained blackbelts because he wanted us to kick ass if we needed to. Mom never made it past yellow belt (the first level up) because she didn’t like sparring with other people. She worried she’d hurt them. Ha. More like the other way around.
“I believe in you, too,” Dad says to me. Then he points to Cooper, Finn, and Rowan in turn. “All of you.”
We thank him. He surprises you sometimes with sweetness.
Mom beams. “Me too. All of you. Mackenzie, I could really use your help with the Clover Park Spring Fair this year. We’ve got a meeting about it with the Chamber of Commerce on Thursday. Do you think you could make time for it?”
My business is technically part of the Chamber of Commerce, but we don’t sell direct to the public. It’s not exactly a great use of our resources.
“We’re trying to get the younger generation more involved,” she says. “The town’s future is in your hands. Cooper and Rowan will be there.”
Guilt weighs me down—Mom guilt, the future of the town I love, Rowan, the newcomer, jumping in to help, which makes me look bad if I don’t. How many things am I going to sign up for because Rowan is doing it? It’s not like she can ever take my place as favorite (and only) daughter. Right? Right?!
“I’ll be there,” I say, pasting on a smile.
Mom beams. “Excellent. This’ll be fun.”