Chapter 32 #2
I look at the baked red earth stretching for miles in all directions.
It’s broken only by wizened trees and sentinel cacti and the occasional sharp rocky outcrop.
For a fanciful moment I imagine the outcrops shoving their way through the level ground at some ancient time by sheer force of will, eager to face the brutal sunlight.
The flat line of the horizon meets an equally uncompromising deep, unbroken blue sky.
A scorpion scuttles across the path, and the grunt of a vulture drifts on the wind.
There’s no doubt that the desert is a place of stark beauty.
But it isn’t our home. We came here fleeing our demons, and now we’ve beaten them.
“Maybe Galbrava isn’t the best place for us anyway,” I suggest, tentatively. I don’t think Florian wants to stay here forever, but I don’t want to assume.
He crinkles his nose, thinking. “That’s true. I don’t know if I can handle the desert heat forever.” He takes off his hat and fans his face to prove it.
“And you need to be in my future long-term,” I say. “That’s absolutely nonnegotiable.”
One hand sneaks around my waist, and he pulls me in for the softest kiss, his tongue just teasing at the crease of my mouth.
“I’m not going anywhere, Boss,” he breathes.
Fuck. This is my life. This gorgeous man is mine now and he doesn’t want to be anywhere else. I must’ve done something right in another life or another universe, because I don’t deserve this luck after the life I’ve lived. I place the hat back on his head and arrange his hair just right.
“So, should we go back to Rhennes?” I suggest, without much enthusiasm. “Go home?” I’m not sure about that idea. Too many people there know about my shameful past. But if it’s what Florian wants, I think I could bear it.
“You know those loan sharks are after me.”
“So? I’ll take care of them.” My fists clench as though listening to the conversation.
“I couldn’t let you do that,” he says. He sounds tempted, though. “I owe them fair and square.”
I bundle him onto his back, enjoying the little squeal of surprise that bubbles up from his lips. I pin his forearms above his head.
“And yet you couldn’t stop me,” I say, oozing the arrogance I know he loves.
He sticks his tongue out at me. The sight of Florian pinned and helpless under me and completely unafraid is a joyous sight.
“Oh, I think I could,” he says. “If I promised you enough kisses.”
He’s got me there. I take that as an invite to claim one of those kisses right now, dropping my face to his and tasting his soft lips. We lose ourselves for a long while, until I draw back for breath.
“I’m not sure I’m strong enough to go back to Rhennes anyway,” I admit.
I touch my tattoo, feeling the usual wave of shame. It’s not natural for me to be so vulnerable with anyone. But I owe it to Florian. He’s trusted me so much, more than I deserved, even from the beginning. He never holds back his feelings from me.
“If we go somewhere far enough away, people might not know what this tattoo means,” I say. “I wouldn’t have to wear the hood all the time.”
Florian touches his lips to my neck then looks at me, eyes soft and fierce.
“Or you could just own it, even in Rhennes,” he says.
“I’ve never been strong enough to do that.”
“Maybe you could do it with me at your side?”
Maybe. The fact I’m even considering it shows how much he means to me.
“What exactly are you ashamed of?” he says. “The fact you were in prison? Everybody knows that the wrong people end up in prison all the time.”
Do they? That’s an unusual opinion to spring from an aristocrat’s lips. But then, as I keep discovering, Florian has a lot more layers than I first gave him credit for.
“It’s partially being in prison,” I say. “But it’s mostly what the tattoo signifies. People know what the gangs are like. They’ll think I agree with their methods. Or they’ll realize the truth: that I was too afraid and weak to refuse. They’ll know I went along to avoid being hurt. ”
Florian’s eyes get soft. “Boss, with all due respect, that’s silly. No one expects you to fight a whole gang. People know that sometimes you have to give in to survive.”
I shrug, needing to change the subject.
“Well, let’s think about it for a while,” Florian says, reading me like a book. “We don’t need to decide where to live right now.”
“You’re right.” I throw out my arms in an expansive gesture, looking around at the empty desert, making a conscious effort to cheer up the conversation. “The world is ours.”
“I love it when you talk so grandly, Boss,” he says, mouth plump from my kisses and his eyes shining again. “I almost believe we could do anything.”
“We could,” I insist. “We can.”
“But we have no money.”
“So? I’d rather build a future with you than start at the top alone.”
His mouth gets all determined. “I can do that. Work my way up. I’ll get a job on a construction site, now you’ve taught me all about digging.”
Stars, he might be getting a little carried away with the independent work ethic.
“I don’t think that’s such a good idea,” I say. “I don’t want you breaking your body with work you’re not suited for.”
He pouts. “Not suited for? I thought I was getting pretty good at digging.”
“You were. You are. But we both know you hate it.”
“But—”
“The answer is no.” I put some authority into my voice. “I won’t let you take a job you hate to realize my dream. End of discussion.”
He bites his lip, looking up at me. “When I told you I wanted you to be more dominant, I may have unleashed a monster.”
“Yes, you did,” I say, deadpan.
“So what will we do for money?”
“We’ll figure something out. As long as we’re together.”
As long as we’re together I don’t much care what we do. Lazing around in bed together sounds good, or getting up at dawn to watch the sun rise. I’ll watch the changing light play with the color of his hair. That ought to entertain me for a good few years.
“You know about my dream,” I say. “We’ll get there one day, I have no doubt. Now, what about your dreams?”
He thinks for a moment. “I never really had any. None that had any chance of coming true, anyway. I’m not good enough at anything.” He looks up at me shyly. “I used to want to be an actor, but that’s stupid. My father put a stop to it anyway.”
I’m really starting to hate this father of his. It’s better for the man’s health, and my own criminal record, that the two of us never meet. It’s a tragedy for such an intelligent and curious man as Florian to have been made to feel so purposeless.
“It’s not stupid,” I say. “You’d be a wonderful actor. And you’re an amazing cook, too.”
Florian wrinkles his nose. “Not good enough to be professional.”
“I disagree.”
“You’re biased.”
“Well, I know Breta and her family would agree with me. They aren’t biased by your tight little ass… except for maybe Prevana.” I squeeze his ass, drawing a yelp.
“Maybe.”
He still sounds unsure. It breaks my heart that he has so little confidence.
I was a fool not to see this side of him before.
I thought he was as conceited as he first appeared, just the usual spoiled and arrogant aristocrat.
I was blinded by my anger and prejudice.
I should’ve been able to see that the casual confidence was his shield. Not his real face.
“We’ll have to get you a dream,” I say.
He smiles at me. “Yes, Boss.”
“And then I’ll help you make it come true, and you’ll help me make mine come true.”
“Yes, Boss.”
His voice softens to a whisper and his lips claim mine.