Chapter 17 Isla
ISLA
I was a single teen mom. I raised a kid while finishing high school, going to university and earning my degree, and starting my career.
Being tired is a permanent state of being for me.
But this type of exhaustion, this mental and emotional drain that I’m currently experiencing, is an all-new low. And the cause of it? A six-foot-tall man who’s at least ten years my senior, my boss, and the star of far too many of my recent fantasies.
If I thought it was hard to ignore my attraction to him when I first started working for the Thunder, it’s nothing compared to how difficult it is now.
Cracking open the door between us, only to slam it shut when we both realized just how bad of an idea it would be to explore things right now, absolutely sucks.
Being around him, knowing how his lips feel on mine, how his hands hold my body, and then having to deny myself that pleasure day after day is pure torture.
Thank God the annual conference for parents and caregivers of individuals with amniotic band syndrome is in Vancouver this year, making it easy for me to attend.
In the past, the conference, which is hosted by a national charity to support people like Charlie and their families, has been out of town, so I’ve never attended in person.
But this year, Mom pushed me to go. And now, the idea of having a few days away from the office, away from the temptation that is Luca Calloway in a suit, has me breathing a sigh of relief.
I need a break from the constant tension that simmers between us. I can’t look at him without remembering the warmth of his breath on my skin, or the scratch of his stubble against my cheek when we kissed.
“Okay, I’ll see you in a couple days. I love you, be good for Nana.” I ruffle the hair on top of Charlie’s head, earning a groan.
“Mo-oom, stop.”
I give him an unrepentant grin. “Nope. I’m your mother. I’m gonna mess up your hair, tell you I love you, and remind you to be good for the rest of your life.”
“Great,” he mutters under his breath, but there’s the tiniest of smiles on his face. “Love you, too.” He drapes his one-half arm over my shoulders, turning his stump into my neck to “tickle” me the way he has since he was little.
“Bye, kid.”
My mom pulls on a coat and walks me out to my car, which is already loaded with my suitcase and a briefcase with some work for me to do in the evenings.
“Try to have some fun while you’re away. Go to the spa or out for dinner. Enjoy the break.”
I nod along, even though she’s said all of this before, and ignored my explanation of why that won’t be happening.
“I know you, Isla Marie Forrester. You think you can’t take the time, or spend the money, or whatever holds you back from doing something for yourself. But you can. You deserve to take some time for you.”
I stop at my door and exhale slowly. “I’ll try, Mom. But I have a lot of work to do in the evenings as well. I’m starting to look for other companies I might be able to get a job at once my contract with the Thunder is over.”
She makes a harrumph sound that makes it clear how she feels about my plans.
“You’re not even thirty years old, Isla.
Gorgeous, smart, kind, and single. Would it kill you to go and have some fun?
You still have six months left on your contract.
Plenty of time to find something else. But you only get so many opportunities to have a weekend by yourself in the city. Let loose a little!”
I bark out an incredulous laugh. “Are you suggesting I hook up with someone this weekend?”
Mom arches a brow at me. “So what if I am? Being a single mother doesn’t mean you have to give up your dating life, you know. At this rate, your son will have a better social life than you do.”
“Trust me, I’m all too aware of the social lives of teenagers,” I reply wryly. “And I’ll be doing everything I can to make sure my son doesn’t follow in his sperm donor’s footsteps.”
“That doesn’t mean you have to be celibate to set an example.”
My head falls forward. “Mom. Can you please drop it? I just want to go to the conference and enjoy a couple of nights in a hotel ordering room service and taking long baths. I’m not an old maid, there’s plenty of time for me to start dating again in a few years.”
Mom shakes her head sadly, but doesn’t say anything more, just pulls me in to a hug. “Fine. Go. We’ll be okay here.”
“Thanks.” I slide into my car, giving her a wave as I pull out of the driveway.
I know I’m incredibly lucky to have parents like mine.
When I told them I was pregnant at seventeen, they handled it the best they could.
Their love and support of me and Charlie has never wavered.
But in recent years, more specifically since Dad died, Mom’s mission to get me to start dating has become more and more intense.
She refuses to accept the fact that I haven’t met anyone worth spending time with, time that could be spent with my son or working to provide a good life for us.
Well, I hadn’t. Until I stumbled into a gorgeous man at a coffee shop, only to walk into a job interview and find him sitting across from me.
For the drive to the ferry terminal and the crossing to the mainland, I put on an audiobook and escape into the fictional world from one of my favourite authors, Starla Barrows.
It’s a perfect break from reality until the middle of the ferry crossing when it hits the first spicy scene.
Suddenly, the interior of my car starts to feel warm, and I debate cracking a window.
But that would mean anyone who might walk past could hear the deep tones of the male narrator explaining exactly what he wants to do to the female main character.
I’m no prude and have no qualms letting it be known I read romance, but having strangers overhear the very sexy scene playing right now feels a bit uncomfortable.
Instead, I switch the audio to my headphones, put them on, and recline my car seat, settling in.
But then my eyes close, and I suddenly start picturing Luca in the role of the hero, and me as the heroine. Luca’s hands are removing my clothing, piece by piece. Luca’s voice is muttering what a good girl I am, how perfect my body feels under his touch. Luca’s heated skin is rubbing against mine.
My eyes fly open on a gasp. Nope. Okay, no romance audiobooks right now. I press pause and pull off my headphones. Maybe Mom was right and I really do need to find a way to start dating again. If for no other reason than to get my boss off my mind and out of my fantasies.
Except, trying to picture being with anyone other than Luca, doesn’t make me feel warm inside. It leaves me feeling cold and uninterested.
Which is a problem.
When I reach the hotel where the conference is being held, I check in and get a key to my room before making my way to the registration desk.
“Hello, I’m Isla Forrester.” I give the smiling lady at registration my name, and she scans the list in front of her.
“Perfect, here’s your welcome package and name tag.
Tonight’s welcome reception takes place immediately following the keynote speech, and drink tickets for the event are in the envelope.
And just so you know, we had a last-minute change in our keynote speaker.
” The woman’s eyes light up. “It’s very exciting, however.
We were able to get the developer of GaitSync, which revolutionized leg prostheses, to agree to speak.
Apparently, he’s very reclusive and this is his first time speaking publicly. ”
I nod along with her rambling. Leg prostheses aren’t exactly something I keep up to date on, so I could always skip the speech and take a bubble bath instead.
“Anywho, do you have anyone joining you?”
“No.” I shake my head. “Just me.” I hadn’t thought twice about coming alone, but her question makes me glance around at the other attendees.
And everywhere I look, I see couples. Parents, grandparents, caregivers, loved ones, even adults with obvious limb differences and their partners are here.
Everyone seems to be paired off, except me, even though I know that’s likely not true.
Still, what would it be like to not be here alone?
To not be facing the challenges of parenting Charlie, advocating for him, supporting him with his disability all by myself?
Sure, my mom is a rockstar. She and my dad, when he was still alive, did everything they could to help me.
But it’s different. They aren’t the ones responsible for making sure they know the most up-to-date research.
They aren’t the ones who have to worry about whether insurance will cover enough for the prosthesis their son wants.
They aren’t the ones lying awake at night worrying about his future, or what kinds of opportunities he will or won’t have because of something that was out of all our control from before he was even born.
All of that falls on me and me alone. And most of the time, I think I manage that just fine. But it's times like this, when I’m surrounded by couples, people that parent and care for their loved ones as a team, or work together to support each other in whatever manner, that I wish I wasn’t alone.
Maybe I need to start an online group for single parents or caregivers of kids with ABS. We don’t have to be alone. I can’t be the only one here by myself, even if it feels that way.
Yeah, like I have time for that. Well, maybe not now, but I could in the future. Once things are more settled, and I have a permanent job. I look around the lobby with fresh eyes, and this time, I notice a few other singles. I’m definitely not the only one.
I make my way on to the elevators that lead to the hotel rooms above the convention center, nodding politely at the two couples in the car talking amongst themselves. One pair gets off before me, their hands clasped together. The other, two older men, smile at me.
“Are you here for the ABS conference?” one of them asks, gesturing to the envelope I’m clutching in one hand that holds my registration package.
“Yes, my son was born with a missing arm,” I answer, spying their conference lanyards.
The other man’s eyes light up as he lifts his hand, and I see the missing digits. “It’s such a wonderful experience to be around so many people who understand what we go through. Is your son with you?”
I shake my head. “No, just me.”
“Well, be sure to find us if you want some company during any sessions or for lunch.”
My smile comes easily. “Thank you, I’ll take you up on that, I’m sure.” The elevator opens on my floor, and I step off, gratified to be feeling slightly less alone.
That changes when I push open the door to my room and see the giant king-size bed. And all I can think about is how lonely that massive bed will be tonight, lying in it all by myself.
It doesn’t take me long to unpack, and after sending some quick text messages to my mom and Charlie to check-in, I decide to wander back downstairs. There will be time for a bubble bath later. I might as well see what this reclusive inventor has to say.
I drape my own lanyard over my neck and head back for the elevators. The car is empty, and I step on before pulling up the agenda for the conference that I saved to my phone.
I scan the subjects of the different presentations and panels, my brain stuttering to a stop at the exact same time as the elevator comes to a stop on a floor below mine.
The door opens as I utter the name of the very last person I expected to see here. The same person staring back at me with a mixture of shock and trepidation written across his handsome face.
“Luca?”