Chapter 31
brEAKING: HEARTbrOKEN LOCAL CONSIDERS ARSON Twin sisters recommend violence; journalism wins… for now
Alaia
“Go away!” I shout when there’s a knock on the door. I don’t want to see anyone. I want to sit here on my sofa in my pajamas and eat a tub of ice cream. I might never move again.
“We’re not going anywhere.”
I groan. Great. It’s Beth and Anne. They’ll never leave me alone.
“I’m not letting you in.”
The door opens and they barge inside. “No reason to let us in. We have a key.”
I glare at Beth. “Where did you get a key?”
I certainly didn’t give them one. The last thing I need is to wake up to them shaving my hair off – again.
“Never you mind,” Anne says.
“We have more important things to discuss,” Beth adds.
Anne nods. “We’ve already started a list.”
I shouldn’t ask, but I do. “A list for what?”
“Revenge pranks.” Beth pulls out her phone and starts reading. “Replace his shampoo with dye.”
“Temporary dye,” Anne corrects.
Beth shrugs before continuing, “Hide tiny alarm clocks all over his room and have them go off at random times all night long. Start a rumor he’s terrified of ducks and then place plastic ducks all over his room.
Change the autocorrect on his phone so yes becomes I’m emotionally unavailable.
Stuff his hotel room with balloons filled with glitter. ”
“Hold up! Who are you revenge pranking?”
Anne rolls her eyes. “Duh.”
“Tanner,” Beth says.
“How do you know? Does everyone know?” I bury my face in my hands.
They plop down on the sofa next to me. Beth places her arm around my shoulders. “This is Smuggler’s Hideaway.”
“In other words, everyone knows.”
Anne giggles. “Rumor has it, he got into a fight with his teammates at the Mariner’s Market. Nolan yelled at him to stop being a heartsick fool.”
“Nolan did not say the words heartsick fool.”
Because Tanner isn’t heartsick. He isn’t the one trying to drown himself in cookie dough ice cream. He isn’t the one who hasn’t left his apartment in two days. He isn’t the one wearing the same pajamas for two days. The pair with a giant chocolate stain on the chest.
“What happened, big sis?” Beth asks.
“Yeah, big sis, what happened? The two of you were cozy as a mermaid and a smitten pirate when you cleaned the beach.”
I narrow my eyes on Anne. “How do you know? You weren’t there.”
She giggles. “You’re cute. You think you’re the only one on this island who knows the gossip.”
“We work at the hospital. We know everyone’s secrets,” Beth adds.
“Including who has a nasty case of chlamydia.”
“And it isn’t a koala.”
“You’re not supposed to tell anyone about your patients,” I remind them.
“We promise we won’t tell.” Anne crosses her heart. “If you tell us why Tanner broke your heart.”
“Why do you assume he broke my heart?” I try to sound indignant. Which is pretty hard when you’re wearing pajamas covered in pirates and mermaids kissing.
Beth snorts. “Are you serious? You’re the most loyal person I know.”
“Which isn’t saying much,” Anne mutters.
Beth ignores her twin. “You would never break up with Tanner.”
“Because you love him,” they sing in unison.
“Yeah, well, I was wrong. I’m not in love with Tanner. I’m in love with a mirage. The Tanner who I thought I knew doesn’t exist. The nice guy no one knows but me. Wrong.” I snort. “The nice guy doesn’t exist. It’s all a lie to get him what he wants. Once he has it, he’s gone.”
“Thus, the need for a revenge prank.” Beth flips her phone open. “I’ve got a few good ideas in here.”
I sigh. “I don’t want to prank him.”
Anne slaps her hand on my forehead. “Are you feeling okay?”
I shove her away. “Knock it off. I’m not the one who enjoys pulling pranks.”
“I wouldn’t say I enjoy them. But they are sometimes necessary.”
I lift my eyebrows. “When is it ever necessary to tie a rubber snake to a fishing line and attach it to a kayak so it appears to chase the kayak as it moves?”
Beth raises her hand. “I know. When the person paddling told everyone in high school you were being a bitch because you were on your period.”
Using my sisters’ reasoning, Tanner definitely deserves to be pranked. But pranking him won’t make my heart hurt any less. It won’t turn back the clock to when he was mine. It won’t change anything.
Anne squeezes my shoulder. “What happened?”
As much as I love my sisters, I can’t tell them about the video. People think I’m the nosiest person on the island. They have no idea how nosy my sisters are. Plus, they’re sneaky and believe boundaries apply to countries but not people.
If they knew about the video, they’d probably publish it all over the internet as a revenge prank. I can’t allow the video to be leaked. I won’t let Tanner think I’m the person he claimed I was. Let him live with knowing he was wrong. That’ll be my revenge.
“Sorry. I can’t tell you.”
Beth’s nose wrinkles. “Is it a weird sex thing? Don’t worry. We’ve seen it all.”
“After you’ve removed toy soldiers from a person’s rectum, you become immune to it.”
I blink. “Toy soldiers. As in more than one? I don’t understand one getting up there. But more than one? What’s the purpose?”
Anne shrugs. “My job is not to ask.”
“But she does anyway.”
“Dude was too drunk to be coherent.”
I shiver at the thought. “No weird sex thing.”
“But you did have sex?”
I feel my cheeks heat. Oh boy, did we have sex. The best sex of my life. It was more than sex. It was connection. It was everything. It was a lie.
“None of your business,” I grumble.
“They totally had sex.” Anne squints at me. “Was it not good? Is his dick small? Could he not perform?”
“I am not discussing sex with you!”
“Why not?” Beth asks. “You were the one to explain the birds and bees to us.”
“Such a weird expression. Why birds? Why bees?” Anne’s nose wrinkles. “I don’t get it.”
“I only explained sex to you because you caught Mom and Dad having sex and thought Dad was trying to kill Mom. I had to explain before you called the police.”
“In my defense,” Beth begins. “Dad had Mom’s hair fisted and kept saying, ‘Are you going to give it to me?’”
“Oh my mermaid,” I groan. “I don’t need to hear about our parents having sex.”
“Why not?” Anne asks. “You know they have sex. You’re proof of it.”
“Plus, you’ve walked in on them before, too.”
I drop my head back to stare at the ceiling. I’d rather discuss my heartbreak than my parents having sex. Who enjoys discussing their parents having sex? My sisters, that’s who.
“Can we move on? I don’t want to talk about Mom and Dad and…” I gulp, “sex.”
“Back to our list of pranks.” Beth grins. “We can be more inventive, I promise.”
“Yeah.” Anne nods. “We could do football-related pranks. Fill his pads with baby powder. Or his cleats with shaving cream. Put confetti in his helmet.”
“And we could have a jersey made with the word asshole on it instead of Long.”
Huh. The last idea holds merit. The world would know what an asshole Tanner is.
Ugh! This isn’t me. I don’t burn the world down when I get dumped. I move on.
Except this breakup hurts worse. I was imagining spending the rest of my life with Tanner. Living together. Having children together. And then boom! Tanner turns on me. Says I’m a liar. I’m not the liar. His agent is.
“And here I thought agents were loyal to their clients.”
“Huh. Agents and their clients?”
At Beth’s question, I realize I spoke out loud. Oops.
“Never mind.”
“I’ll drop plans to pull a prank without you if you tell me what you meant.”
“You’re totally going to pull a prank no matter what I say.”
Beth grins, and Anne mouths we are.
“I don’t want to prank Tanner. I want to figure out how to rewrite the article on Coach Knox.”
Beth growls. “That magazine doesn’t deserve another article from you.”
“Jerks. Our sister is the best writer in the world.”
I stare at Anne. “You don’t have to lie to make me feel better.”
“Not lying. Your articles in the Smuggler’s Gazette are hilarious. I cut them out and hang them up in the locker room at the hospital.”
My mouth drops open. “You do?”
“I buy the newspaper,” Beth says.
“If you rewrite the article on Coach Knox, don’t offer it to the sports magazine. Publish it somewhere else.”
“Where?” I ask Anne.
She shrugs. “I don’t know. You’re the journalist.”
I am the journalist. I’m not some gossip columnist who would expose Tanner’s secret to make a buck. No, I write real stories about real people.
I should write a story about what an asshole Sam is. An agent who betrays his client doesn’t deserve the client. Except Tanner didn’t believe me when I told him Sam betrayed him. He thinks Sam is loyal to him.
Loyal to him, my ass. But what is loyalty in the sports world?
Beth waves her hand in front of my face. “Earth to Alaia.”
I slap her hand away. “Sorry. I had an idea for an article.”
They stand. “Our work here is done.”
Anne snatches the ice cream from my lap and Beth replaces it with my laptop. “Get to work.”
I barely hear her. Ideas are bombarding me. This isn’t a prank, but it will be a bit of sweet, sweet revenge. And the article may just be what the Gazette needs to stay in circulation.