Chapter 5
5
MAC
“Shit!”
The sharp crack of shattering glass echoed through the bar, loud enough to make a few heads turn.
Third one tonight.
I clenched my jaw, my hands tightening into fists as I stared at the mess at my feet. I was completely useless—every ounce of focus, every goddamn skill I had, had gone right out the front door the second she walked in.
And just my luck, Penny looked fucking stunning.
Drop-dead gorgeous.
Not that it was a surprise. Penny always looked beautiful.
The way she carried herself, effortless and confident.
The way her laughter rang out over the music, warm and untamed.
The way her damn smile lit up the entire room, brighter than any neon sign could ever dream of being.
She was a walking beam of pure, blinding sunshine. That’s what I liked most about her. It was the reason why I was such a goddamn mess, I couldn’t get any of it out of my head.
I scrubbed my hands through my hair, exhaling sharply as I tipped my head back toward the ceiling.
I needed a break. Five minutes to pull myself together before I embarrassed myself any further.
With the crowd finally settled, I grabbed a cigarette from my back pocket and stalked toward the back door, shoving it open so hard it cracked against the brick wall before slamming shut behind me.
Fresh air and a smoke. That always helped.
I wedged the cigarette between my lips, flicked my lighter, and took a long, deep inhale. The burn filled my lungs, sharp and grounding. For a second, I let myself believe it might actually do the trick.
Then—
The door banged open again, but I didn’t turn around because I swear to God, if that’s Lizzie…
“Dude, what the hell is your problem?”
Not Lizzie. Dudley.
Of fucking course.
I turned just enough to see him standing there, arms spread wide like he was ready to throw down. His blond hair was a tangled mess, brown eyes narrowed in irritation.
Where I had tattoos, he had piercings—his lip, his eyebrow, a stud in his nostril. And, as always, he was decked out in all black, the look completed by a cowboy hat.
My blood simmered. I didn’t want to deal with him. Didn’t want to deal with anyone.
Why the hell couldn’t people just leave me the fuck alone?
Why did I always have to explain myself like some schoolboy? First, my sister and now Dudley.
The frustration churned so deep that I didn’t even think before I snapped.
“Worry about yourself and get back to work,” I barked, my skin prickling, vision blurring at the edges.
I took a step forward. So did he.
Toe to toe.
Both of us stubborn as hell, neither backing down.
Dudley exhaled slowly, jaw twitching before he took a step away, not in the mood for a testosterone-fueled pissing match. I was glad for it because, with how I was feeling right now, I didn’t see myself choosing the high ground. I’d say something I’d regret.
Pointing a finger at me, he sighed. “When you’re done dropping shit and screwing up drinks, get your ass back inside. Otherwise, I’m taking your tip money, too.”
With a shake of his head, he disappeared back inside, leaving me alone with nothing but my cigarette, my frustration, and the mess in my head.
Clearly, he had more to say but chose otherwise.
Dudley was one of my good friends. He and I have been working this bar together nearly every night for years, and to see him pissed at me wasn’t a feeling I enjoyed.
Sure, I liked to stir the pot and shake shit up, but I didn’t enjoy it when people I cared about were angry at me.
I had to get back to work, service needed to go on as normal.
There wasn’t time to finish my cigarette. I snuffed it out on the side of the building and tossed it into the can I kept by the back door.
Rolling my shoulders, I made my way back inside, walking down the narrow hallway from the alley and into the bar. My cowboy boots clacked against the sticky, tiled floor, the familiar sound bringing me back as I reentered the chaos.
By the time I slid back into position behind the bar, Dudley was already in the swing of things. Lucky for me, the crowd seemed satisfied enough that he had it handled.
I used the free moment to stock the bar, but my attention wasn’t really on the liquor bottles.
My eyes roamed the dimly lit space, searching, hoping, for a glimpse of Penny, praying she hadn’t left already. Considering the rest of the group was still here, it was unlikely she’d be the first to go.
Standing on the balls of my feet, I scanned the bar, the music loud enough to drown out the chatter, the pulse of bass thrumming through the walls.
I found her.
Chestnut hair swaying to the beat.
Penny was on the dance floor, moving with Aspen and Ellie, their hands linked as they spun and laughed, completely lost in the music.
My breath hitched.
I couldn’t look away.
The way she moved—hips rolling, body fluid, completely carefree—she was so unapologetically her.
I was fucking mesmerized.
A sharp pang of something unfamiliar tightened in my chest. Anxiety then took over, a feeling that was new and very unwelcome, yet it came regardless of how hard I tried to bat it away.
I quickly cleared my throat, forcing my gaze anywhere but her, but it was too late.
Penny spun at just the right moment, catching me watching her before I could fully turn my attention.
For a fleeting second, something unreadable crossed her face—surprise, hesitation, maybe even regret. But even quicker, she masked it, schooling her expression into something cold, detached.
Then, she looked away completely.
Fuck if that didn’t sting.
Jaw tight, I busied myself, swapping out the liquor spouts and tossing the empty bottles into the trash, each movement sharper, more forceful than necessary.
I couldn’t keep doing this.
This uneasy, gut-churning feeling. This constant, gnawing urge to make things right.
I was living in my own personal hell, watching the woman I’d fallen for pretend I didn’t exist.
Ignoring me. Taunting me, whether she realized it or not.
I’d had my eyes on Penny Hudson, and it pissed me off that it wasn’t going nearly how I had planned.
Glancing to my left, I saw Dudley on the opposite side of the bar, shamelessly flirting with a brown-haired girl I didn’t recognize.
My eyes roamed once more for Lizzie. I hadn’t seen my sister all night. Thank God for that. Dealing with her and Penny in the same room? That would’ve been a hell I wasn’t prepared for.
One stressor was more than enough.
Spinning back toward the front of the bar, I froze.
Penny was leaning over the counter, frantically waving toward the end where Dudley stood, trying to get his attention.
My throat tightened, a knot forming so big I could barely breathe. The reaction was instant, visceral—but not the kind I wanted.
My skin prickled. My chest warmed. My heartbeat pounded in my ears.
Forcing a calm front, I took a slow step toward her. Penny still refused to look at me, determined to act like I wasn’t standing right fucking here.
This was my chance. It was fate that I spun around when I did.
She chose the wrong spot. The space she crammed into was the only stretch of bar free of sitting patrons, leaving her face to face with me. The perfect opportunity.
“Penny,” I said, wiping my hands on the towel slung over my shoulder. The fabric was stark white against my all-black outfit—black T-shirt, tattoos on full display, dark jeans to match.
She ignored me, so I stepped closer.
When I did, her perfume hit me—vanilla.
Just like that, I was back there—back to the nights we’d spent tangled together. The way she’d sighed when I nuzzled into her neck, when I kissed along the soft, sensitive skin she loved to be touched.
“Pen, come on,” I urged again, reaching out, my fingers brushing against her arm.
She yanked away like my touch had burned her, a scowl forming on her lips as she glared at me. If she had a drink in her hand, there was no doubt in my mind she would’ve tossed it right in my face.
I pulled back, my patience snapping.
This was fucking insane.
She was pissed—fine. But ignoring me like a child? Pretending I didn’t exist?
That was bullshit.
What happened—what the problem was—had nothing to do with her.
It was about me, about choices I made years ago. A situation I thought had worked itself out, one I never imagined would come back to haunt me.
But life saw an opportunity when I had something good—something real. And, like clockwork, it shit all over it.
Penny brought her fingers to her mouth and whistled, still trying to get Dudley’s attention.
He spun, but I pointed a finger at him, my jaw set.
Dudley got the message. Stay the fuck out of it.
With Penny still leaning over the bar, I hooked my hands under her arms and hauled her over the damn counter.
She screamed, legs flailing, nearly knocking over the neatly stacked glasses on the shelf behind me.
“Let me go, you animal!” she shrieked, fists beating against my chest.
I ignored her protests, shifting her effortlessly over my shoulder as I strode toward the back.
Eyes were everywhere, watching, heads turning.
Even over the pounding music, we were causing a scene. I couldn’t bring myself to care. I was blinded by rage, blinded by the way she once made me feel, and I clung to that.
All the emotions I felt in the last few hours were surging to the surface. Anger. Disappointment. Longing. Embarrassment. There were so many I’d been harboring the last couple of months, and I’d hit my tipping point.
The moment I got her into the stockroom, I kicked the door shut behind us and let her down. She huffed in frustration, immediately scrambling back against the shelves as if the extra inches between us would make a difference.
“What the hell was that?” she demanded, throwing her hands in the air. Her face was a perfect picture of exasperation, her eyes blazing with annoyance.
I’d pulled her away from her night, from the fun she was having, and I was probably the last person she wanted to be stuck in a room with.
“If you’d just listen to me—” I started, crossing my arms over my chest.
“Mac, there’s nothing to hear,” she shot back, voice sharp and unwavering. “You lied to me. You kept a big fucking secret.”
“I didn’t lie!” The words came out too loud, my voice cracking with desperation.
I forced my eyes shut, dragging in a breath to steady myself. I knew she had every right to be furious. I should’ve told her sooner. I should’ve come clean. But I never once lied.
“Come on, Trouble,” I sighed.
She popped her hip and angled her head, her expression calling me out on my bullshit.
“Don’t you dare call me that. You lost the right.”
“There was nothing to lie about,” I muttered.
She exhaled sharply, shaking her head. “I can’t do this right now.” Penny made a move to push past me, but I caught her arm.
“When, then?” I demanded, my grip gentle but firm. “You name the time and place, and I’ll be there.”
She sighed, rolling her eyes, but there was something else lurking beneath the surface—something that made my stomach drop. Sadness? Regret?
“I don’t know,” she admitted, her voice quieter now.
I softened instantly, my frustration crumbling under the weight of what I felt for her. “I’m begging you, Penny. Please…” My voice was rough with emotion. Under the dim stockroom light, she tucked her hair behind both ears—a nervous tell I’d come to memorize.
“I’ll let you know when I’m ready,” she finally said. Then she turned, disappearing out the stockroom door before I could stop her.
I groaned, raking my hands through my hair.
That was the first time I’d been alone with her in over a month. I wasn’t letting it end this way. I wasn’t going to let her slip through my fingers that easily.
I needed to know what she wanted from me, what she needed me to do.
The moon? I’d rope it.
On my knees? I’d beg.
A confession of every feeling I’d ever had for her? I would, without batting an eye.
I wasn’t going to stop until she heard me out because those months together in secret were the best damn months of my life.
The flicker in her gaze, the softness that took over her voice just a moment ago, let me know she still felt something, too.