Chapter 28
Lydia had already accepted that she had erred greatly in trying to meet the former officer the night of the ball, but regardless of what she had been told, it was not until she learnt of the depths of his depravity in Meryton that the magnitude of her near error hit her.
For so long, she had mocked her sisters as boring and far too proper.
She now realised it was they who had behaved as a gently born lady should, and she had not.
As she remonstrated with herself once again, Lydia heard Lizzy’s words in her head.
‘Learn from the past, but then only remember the past as that remembrance gives you pleasure.’ It was as she allowed those words to roll around in her consciousness that Lydia began to accept that she had learnt from her mistakes and now was the time to move forward and not dwell on the past any longer.
Since she had begun to behave properly, she was no longer locked in the nursery.
Lydia was seated in the drawing room pulling apart one of her old bonnets when she ceased her activity and looked around.
Jane was sitting next to Colonel Fitzwilliam, their heads close together as they were much of the time in company together.
Unlike Jane’s former suitor, Mr Bingley, the Colonel did not ignore everyone else with whom he was in company.
Her previous infatuation with a man in a scarlet coat notwithstanding, Lydia found that she felt no jealousy aimed at Jane.
It was a byproduct of her accepting she was too young to be out, and far too young to be thinking of marriage.
She felt proud that she was trusted enough to be a chaperone for her eldest sister.
Colonel Fitzwilliam had come every day and spent most of the day at Longbourn.
He had told them that first thing in the morning, he would ride to the militia’s brig to look in on, and make sure his prisoner was healing.
With that done, he came to Longbourn. At times, he played chess with Papa while some other times he spoke to Mama, or Mary, Kitty, and herself.
Once politeness had been satisfied, he would be at Jane’s side.
If her eldest sister’s blushes were anything to go by, she did not object to Colonel Fitzwilliam’s company at all.
There may not be an official courtship declared, but there was no doubt that Jane was very willingly being courted.
All Lydia could do was shake her head when she thought of how jealous she would have been if this had been a few weeks past.
She had enough self-awareness to own that even had she attempted to attract Colonel Fitzwilliam’s attention; he would not have looked at her except for common civility.
He was a man of almost thirty summers, and she would only be fourteen in a little more than a sennight.
None of the men she had ‘flirted with’ during her brief opportunities had been attracted to her, they had only been interested in that which they believed she had been willing to give them without thought.
Lydia felt a cold shiver as she thought about the fact that had her aunt and uncle not sent their men to watch over the Bennets and make sure that Mr Wickham caused no mischief, she would, even now, be ruined.
One of the most important lessons Lydia had learnt was that a handsome face in no way translated to a good character.
Mr Wickham was as handsome as she had ever seen—except according to Jane’s suitor, he was no longer a good looking man—while at the same time, he was the devil incarnate.
Mama was meeting with Mrs Hill to go over ways to economise within the household budget.
Papa was not hidden away in the study. Rather, he was out on the estate conferring with some of the tenants on ways to increase their yields.
Lydia had heard him speak of wanting to double the output of the home farm.
Mary and Kitty were also not in the room; they were both with masters.
The former, a man who taught music and the latter, one who helped Kitty with her drawing and painting.
Lydia felt chagrined when she thought of how she used to mock Kitty for wanting to exercise her talent in art.
She could now admit that was jealousy. Lydia was not as silly as she had seemed, and it had not taken very much for her to recognise Kitty’s talents.
Rather than be outshone by her, Lydia had derided her drawing and painting.
It was a slow process, but Lydia was determined to repair the damage she had done to her relationships with her sisters. Thankfully seeing that she was making genuine efforts to change, her older sisters who remained at Longbourn had been open to her rapprochement.
Until that holiday with the Gardiners that Kitty had been compliant, but everything had begun to change when she and Mary returned to Longbourn. Now, thanks to Aunt Maddie and Uncle Edward taking charge, she and her family were almost unrecognisable as the people they had been then.
The obvious conclusion was that her aunt and uncle had saved them from their own follies, and now the lives of the Bennets of Longbourn were infinitely better.
Papa had just the previous evening told Lydia that if she continued to behave as she was now, he would allow her to come out at seventeen as had been the original intent.
Lydia had shocked herself and her parents equally when she had requested that she only come out once she was eighteen.
She had explained that she knew she had much to learn and many changes to make.
She was confident that she would be more prepared in four years rather than three Her request had been granted.
One of the things Lydia had noticed was that rather than Papa teasing Mama and Mama vexing Papa, there seemed to be affection between them, and it made for a much more peaceful house. As if thinking about her parents had magical powers, Mama entered the drawing room.
Since Colonel Fitzwilliam had begun showing marked attention to Jane, and Jane appearing to be receptive to said attention, Fanny had made sure not to do anything like she would have in the past to ‘assist’ Jane.
She was aware that as a second son, even one of an earl, Jane’s suitor was not wealthy, but that was nothing as long as Jane was happy, and from all of the signs Fanny could see, Jane was certainly open to receiving the Colonel’s attentions.
Fanny remembered the conversation she and Thomas had the previous night when they had shared her bed for the night.
It was something which was occurring with more frequency.
The last time he had spent time in her chambers prior to now was before Lydia had been born.
“Thomas, how can we help Jane and the Colonel, if he offers for her, that is,” Fanny had asked.
“I know for a fact that he will do so as soon as he thinks Jane is open to hearing his addresses,” her husband had replied. She had arched her eyebrow, the same questioning way Lizzy did. Thomas had told her of his conversation when he had asked the man what his intentions towards Jane were.
“He will not abandon her like Mr Bingley did, will he? He seems like a very resolute man to me,” Fanny had opined.
“That he is, Fanny. Fitzwilliam is no changeable boy but a decisive man,” Thomas had told her.
“I know you told us how Longbourn will be inherited the other day. Would it be very much trouble to change your will and leave the estate to Jane if she marries him? That way she will not have to follow the drum if she does not want to be away from the Colonel for many months at a time. You know how risky war is. If he was forced to remain in the army and felled in battle, it would break our Jane’s heart. ”
“It is no trouble to make that change. If Fitzwilliam proposes and Jane accepts him, I will make Jane the heir to Longbourn,” Thomas had promised.
Fanny smiled as she remembered the conversation, or more precisely how she had thanked her husband afterwards. Well, she supposed, they had both expressed their gratitude. Yes, their life was so much better than it used to be.
“Miss Bennet, although it is not a very warm day, it is clear and without wind. Would you take a turn in the park with me?” Fitzwilliam requested.
“As long as our chaperone is willing to brave the cold temperatures,” Jane inclined her head towards Lydia, “then I have no objection to walking out in the park. Allow me some minutes to canvass her opinion.” Jane stood and glided over to where Lydia was seated with her bonnet.
‘What kind of fool was Bingley to let her go on the say-so of his sisters and William?’ Fitzwilliam thought.
‘She seems to be open to my courting, but would she be happy with a broken-down old soldier, and not even a handsome one at that?’ As he thought the last, Fitzwilliam knew it was not something she would consider.
Just like Jane, Miss Bennet, did not enjoy being judged for her superficial looks, she did not do the same herself.
Jane came back and stood in front of the Colonel. “Lyddie will accompany us into the park,” she related. “Mama, Lydia, Colonel Fitzwilliam, and I are taking a short walk in the park.”
Without a word or effusion, Fanny waved her daughters away.
It did not take long before Jane and Lydia had donned their warm coats, wool-lined gloves and their warm bonnets. The Colonel stood at the door ready for them, his greatcoat buttoned, his hat in place, and his warm gloves on his hands.
Being a considerate gentleman, Fitzwilliam offered one arm to Miss Bennet and the other to Miss Lydia.
The latter declined politely and followed behind as they walked into the park and onto the now brown, dormant grass.
The trees, including the large ancient oak from which a swing was suspended, were all bare.