Chapter 30
Before they retired to their bed the previous evening, Darcy had shared with Anna what he hoped to achieve this morning.
Gone were the days when he did not include her in his thoughts.
His reticent sister had not been shy in expressing her approbation of the possibility of her new friend becoming her sister.
In fact, she was almost more keen for him to advance his suit with Lizzy than he himself was.
If this was the effect Miss Elizabeth had on his sister after being in Anna’s company only a few times, Darcy could only imagine how beneficial having Miss Elizabeth as his wife and Anna’s sister would be.
As he sat in his coach, he could not but think back to how he was before he realised what was truly important.
Had he not arrived at the realisation he ultimately had, Miss Elizabeth would not have agreed to allow him to address her.
Darcy well knew that she did not care one whit about his wealth and connections.
In fact, he was now able to admit to himself that she was exactly the woman who, in disposition and intelligence, would most suit him.
Her understanding and temper, though unlike his own, would answer all of his wishes.
It was a union that would be to the advantage of both.
By her ease and liveliness, his mind would be softened, his manners improved; and from his judgement, information, and knowledge of the world, she would receive benefit as well.
Darcy lifted his eyes to the heavens to give thanks that he had, in fact, had his epiphany before all was lost.
His thoughts flew from his head as he felt the coachman slow the conveyance until it came to a halt outside of 23 Gracechurch Street.
Thompson jumped down from the rear bench, extended the step, and opened the door.
Darcy stepped down into the crisp weather outside.
With his cane in hand, he walked from the gate to the two steps which led to the front door.
He pulled the chain, which caused the ringing of a bell within.
Without delay, the Gardiners’ butler opened the door.
~~~~~~~/~~~~~~~
Ever one to try to find humour, Elizabeth reminded herself that the nervousness she was experiencing since her early waking was affecting her as her Mama used to claim.
To assuage her anxiety about her expected caller, with the help of the maid her aunt assigned to her, Elizabeth dressed in warm undergarments, including wool stockings.
Then she slipped into a thick walking dress and laced up her half boots.
She made her way downstairs where the butler and John Biggs were waiting for her.
The latter had come to London to protect the master’s niece.
There she was helped into her thickest coat.
She tied her sheep wool-lined bonnet, wrapped a scarf around her neck, and lastly tugged on her winter gloves.
With the footman following a few steps behind, Elizabeth crossed the street to the park opposite. The duck pond was frozen over already, which she knew disappointed her cousins, especially the youngest two, who very much enjoyed feeding the waterfowl.
Once in the park, Elizabeth struck out at a very fast pace along the circular path.
She was not at all surprised that John effortlessly kept pace with her.
She imagined that his strides were even longer than Mr Darcy’s.
She shook her head. Even on this walk to supposedly clear her head, Mr Darcy was still in her thoughts.
After five revolutions of the path, Elizabeth felt nice and warm and made her way back to the house. Even though her escort was a very large man, she did not want to keep him out of the house in the cold for too long.
Once she had been divested of her outerwear, Elizabeth headed to the kitchen, where Cook had a pot of hot chocolate steaming on the stove.
With a cup of the delectable beverage in hand, Elizabeth took herself to the drawing room next to the dining parlour.
As she sat and savoured her treat, her mind wandered to the conversation she had had with Aunt Maddie before bed the previous night.
“Lizzy, you look contemplative. You are not sorry you gave Mr Darcy permission to speak to you, are you?” Aunt Maddie had asked.
“No, yes…I am not sure. What if it is not what I think it is?” She had replied.
“What is the reason you believe Mr Darcy will call on you on the morrow? Have not you two let all the past animosity between you wash away? It is not like you to be so unsure of yourself,” Aunt Maddie had stated.
“Look where being so sure of myself and my faulty judgements got me. I was so blind that I allowed myself to be hoodwinked. To your question regarding his reasons for wanting to speak to me, I hope it is to discuss something to do with a shared future, but why would he want to align himself with one who has been as silly as me?”
“Lizzy dear, you do yourself no favour by imagining all sorts of scenarios before you hear what Mr Darcy has to say.” Aunt Maddie had pasted a knowing smile on her face.
“What do you know that I do not? Has Mr Darcy said anything about the purpose of his call to either you or Uncle Edward?” She had probed.
“No, Mr Darcy said nothing to us…however,” Aunt Maddie had teased.
“However?” She had huffed.
“I will not sport with you any longer. Some weeks ago, Mr Darcy wrote to Adam and shared that he was enamoured of you. He told my brother that in his self-awareness, after realising his behaviour was not that of a gentleman, he did own that he had come to the conclusion that you did not like him. Since the apologies were made and each of you accepted them and forgave each other, you two seem to enjoy one another’s company.
So yes, your uncle and I are relatively certain that what you suspect, or you dare to hope for, is why Mr Darcy will call on the morrow,” Aunt Maddie had revealed.
“I will never be able to thank you and Uncle Edward. Had you not shocked me out of my belief in my own infallible character sketches, there is a good chance I would not have been open to a man who I now see is one of the best men I know.”
Aunt Maddie had left her bedchamber soon after their discussion.
Since that time, and now after her walk, there was still self-doubt, but Elizabeth knew she would be fooling herself if she tried to deny she was in anticipation of Mr Darcy’s arrival.
Seeing that she understood more about his intentions, as related to her by Aunt Maddie, she could not wait for the man to arrive.
When they broke their fasts, if Elizabeth’s aunt and uncle noted how preoccupied she was, they made no mention of it.
After the meal, Elizabeth went to change into a day dress and was far more particular than normal as she prepared herself for her caller. She even used tooth powders again, something she never had done after breaking her fast.
By the time Elizabeth entered the main drawing room, Uncle Edward had already departed for his offices.
Aunt Maddie was waiting for her and patted the seat on the couch next to her.
Trying not to fidget, Elizabeth remained seated until she heard the front doorbell ring at ten.
All of the nerves returned in full force.
Elizabeth stood and felt like she wanted to bolt.
Maddie saw what was occurring and placed a gentle, restraining hand on Lizzy’s arm; the contact had the desired effect. She watched as her niece relaxed and seated herself again. Although she did not miss it, Maddie affected that she had not noticed how embarrassed Lizzy was.
The two ladies stood and curtsied when Darcy entered, which he answered with a bow.
Good morning, Mrs Gardiner, Miss Elizabeth,” Darcy greeted.
“You are most welcome, Mr Darcy,” Maddie stated as the mistress of the home. “Please be seated; I was about to order tea.”
Only his good manners stopped him from refusing and stating that he would prefer to speak to Miss Elizabeth right away.
Instead, he accepted, and it was, mercifully, not long before the maids entered.
One carried a tray with tea, and the other’s tray held treats, which included a refreshing selection of hothouse fruits.
As much as he wished the time to pass expeditiously, Darcy said not a word on the subject and was a proper gentleman at all times.
Once tea and some of those treats were enjoyed, the maids were summoned to remove the trays.
Maddie stood. “I need to confer with the housekeeper. I will be away for no more than ten minutes, and the door will remain partially open when I depart,” Maddie instructed.
Both nodded. Maddie stood, exited the room and set the door.
“You can be at no loss, Miss Elizabeth, to understand the reason for my coming hither today. Your own heart, your own intelligence, must tell you why I desired to speak to you and about what,” Darcy began.
Elizabeth showed a neutral look on her face. “Indeed, you are mistaken, Sir. I have not been at all able to account for the honour of seeing you here with any certitude. I have speculated, but I cannot assume. Hence, until you relate your reason to me, I will not be sure,” she replied.
Darcy stopped himself and gave a self-deprecating chuckle.
Seeing her arched eyebrow, he elucidated.
“My first words were very formal and almost made me think they were words my Aunt Catherine would have uttered.
Let me try this again. Miss Elizabeth, even before we pledged to start again, no matter how much I used to try to fight the inclination, I was falling in love with you.
Since my eyes were truly opened to my bad behaviour and improper pride, the question I was asking myself changed from ‘is she worthy of me’ to ‘am I worthy of her.’