Chapter 2
On Thursday at exactly four, a hired gig pulled up under the portico in front of Longbourn.
Elizabeth had gone for a walk an hour earlier and saw the same gig parked in the lane.
She had mentioned seeing it to her father, who looked at her, sporting a huge grin; she gave him a half nod and tried to keep her composure as.
“William Collins at your service, Cousin Bennet.” The man bowed low, and his hand made a flourish with his hat revealing a balding crown. What hairs were present were extremely greasy.
He was about Bennet’s height but had a portly midsection bordering on corpulent. If the odour emanating from the man was any indication, he did not bathe daily. There was no missing how he leered at the five Bennet daughters, especially the oldest one. He had never seen a woman to match her beauty.
“Welcome to Longbourn, Mr. Collins,” Bennet welcomed the unwelcome visitor.
“Would you introduce my fair cousins to me?” Collins asked, displaying his want of manners and lack of knowledge of protocol.
“My oldest, Miss Jane Bennet.” Collins tried to plant a slobbering kiss on the lady’s hand, but she withdrew it before he was able to. “Miss Elizabeth,” Elizabeth made sure her hands were behind her, as did the other three, “Miss Mary, Miss Kitty, and Miss Lydia,” Bennet named his daughters.
“What elegance and beauty in one place…” Bennet cut his loquacious cousin off.
“I am sure you are tired from your travels, Mr. Collins, and are in want of a bath. We will meet in the drawing room at half past five.” Bennet shepherded his daughters into the house before the man could close his jaw, which was hanging open.
Once the spluttering man was led upstairs by Hill, to the guest chamber farthest from his cousins, Elizabeth followed her father into his study.
“Papa, that ridiculous man was waiting in the lane so he would arrive at the time he said! What did he think would happen if he arrived early? Was he worried it would cause Armageddon and the world would come to an end?” Elizabeth was stupefied by the man who had presented himself at their door.
“From his letter, he venerates his patroness as if she were equal to God Himself. I am sure we will find out in due course that she impressed the need for punctuality on the man, as I expect she will be a large part of any of his conversation.
“Will we have to put up with him for a full sennight, Papa?” Elizabeth asked.
“Unfortunately, as we accepted him as a guest, it would not be good form to expel him early unless he does something which warrants such an action,” Bennet explained.
“Please convey to your sisters my desire that none of them are ever to be alone with him. I would prefer three of you together with him and, if possible, with a servant present.”
“I will make sure my sisters are aware of your wishes. Do you think he would try to compromise one of us otherwise?” Elizabeth asked, not wanting to believe a man of the cloth would resort to such behaviour.
“Did you not see the way the man drooled when he looked on all of you and for far too long, especially our Jane? With the look I spied, I would rather not leave things to chance, Lizzy,” Bennet clarified for his daughter.
“I do not know the man well enough to know if he has any vicious propensities. Given his mix of pomposity and sycophantic behaviour, I fear he thinks his status as a parson and the beneficiary of Lady Catherine de Bourgh’s largess makes him above the rules which apply to the rest of us.
It may be necessary to point out to him the fact that a parson is below a landed gentleman and that of a gentleman’s daughter, as he seems to revere rank. ”
“Papa, you remember I told you about Mr. Wickham’s disclosure to me, and you urged me to think critically?” Elizabeth changed the subject.
“I do, my child. Have you reconsidered your strongly-held opinions, biases perhaps?” Bennet asked. As much as he loved his second daughter, he was not blind to the fact she became very stubborn, especially when one slighted her as Mr. Darcy had done at the assembly.
“Charlotte pointed out the impropriety of Mr. Wickham’s disclosure to me, and the fact I only have one side of the tale. It is possible I was prejudiced against Mr. Darcy and allowed it to colour my opinions—a little,” Elizabeth owned.
“I knew there was a reason I always liked Miss Lucas; she has a good head on her shoulders, that one! I am happy she was able to get you to look at your opinions and re-evaluate them,” Bennet told his daughter.
“It has not changed the fact I dislike the man and think him proud and disagreeable, but I am willing to own I may not know the full story,” Elizabeth admitted.
~~~~~~~/~~~~~~~
“Mrs. Nichols has informed me we will have more than enough white soup by the end of the month, so I have decided the ball will be on Thursday coming, the first day of November,” Bingley informed the Netherfield party.
“I still say this is casting pearls before swine! How will a group of country nobodies so far…” Miss Bingley checked herself to avoid that lout Hurst reminding her, and more importantly Mr. Darcy, of her actual status again.
“I mean, all my efforts for those who do not have the class to appreciate it.”
“As long as I get to dance with Miss Bennet, I do not care about anything else. She is an angel,” Bingley opined. “I have never before beheld such beauty.”
“You cannot be serious, Charles! Did you hear nothing of what Louisa and I told you of her connections! One uncle a country solicitor and the other a tradesman who lives in Cheapside,” Miss Bingley whined.
“I would not care had she enough relations to fill Cheapside!” Bingley insisted.
“What your sister is trying to say is the family’s connections materially lessen the chances of the Miss Bennets making a good match,” Darcy added, trying his best to push the image of a pleasing figure and fine eyes out of his mind.
This would not do; how could he, a Darcy of Pemberley, and a scion of earls, be infatuated with a country miss?
“You see, Charles, Mr. Darcy agrees with me,” Miss Bingley preened. She looked at Darcy like a cat who caught a canary. “When you marry, you need to marry someone of the rank of say—dearest Georgiana, who will raise the status of our family.”
Darcy just stopped himself from giving the shrew a set down.
It was not the first time she had tried to intimate her brother would marry his baby sister, who was still a few years from being out!
Not only that, but the woman also ignored the fact that her brother’s marriage would do nothing to raise her.
Only her own marriage would do that, if, in fact, someone was willing to marry her.
It would never be him; he had told Bingley that even if she compromised him, he would not offer for the woman.
“I will deliver the Bennets’ invitation personally on the morrow!” Bingley asserted. He and Darcy left the drawing room and made for the study.
“She smiles too much; you know that Bingley, do you not?” Darcy told his friend as they seated themselves in the study. Darcy was appreciative Bingley was cognizant of the fact his friend disliked spending time with Mrs. Hurst and Miss Bingley, particularly the latter.
“Who smiles too much?” Bingley asked.
“Miss Bennet. She is a beautiful woman; I will not deny that, but your sister, as much as I hate to agree with anything she says, is correct that she does not have the connections to help raise you up,” Darcy pushed.
“I care not; she is an angel!” Bingley stated.
Bingley always followed the advice his older friend gave him. Darcy decided he would observe the woman closely, so if he noticed anything of concern to his friend, he would direct the biddable Bingley in a different direction.
~~~~~~~/~~~~~~~
Dinner was an interesting meal at Longbourn.
Throughout the meal, Mr. Collins constantly praised his patroness to the sky, whether his mouth was full or not.
Unfortunately for the Bennets and Miss Lucas, the man had not used the bath which had been prepared for him.
Due to his odour and uncouth mannerisms, the meal was spoilt for all except the man himself.
Elizabeth had invited Charlotte to come witness the man for herself, as she was sure her friend would think her exaggerating otherwise.
“To which of my dear cousins am I to thank for this splendid meal. It is to their credit they are so skilled at cooking. As my patroness always says…” Bennet cut the fool off before he could launch into another soliloquy about his revered patroness.
“We have a full complement of servants at Longbourn, Mr. Collins, including a cook!” Bennet retorted with evident frustration. Bennet had quickly realised the entertainment value did not come close to outweighing the annoyance factor his cousin caused.
Collins placed his hand over his mouth, as they all wished he would when his mouth was full of food to hinder his spraying it around liberally as he talked. “I did not mean to offend, Cousin,” Collins stated contritely.
Thankfully the meal was over, so the females were able to abandon the dining parlour and their father with all speed.
They needed to escape both the odour and the idiotic man’s ridiculous pronouncements.
Even Mary, who had been predisposed to like the man as he was a clergyman, could not bear to be in his company.
“Eliza, it is good that you invited me. Had I not witnessed it for myself, I would never have believed anyone could behave as this man does. I would have been sure you were exaggerating for your own entertainment! I pity whoever the lady is who ends up tied to that man,” Charlotte stated in wonder.