Chapter 36 Forged in Iron
~Felicity~
I looked down at the pavers directly in front of the bench and saw it—an iron plaque embedded seamlessly into the concrete. In the soft glow of the fairy lights, I could just make out the elegant engraving:
"You are my heart, my life, my one and only thought." (ACD/C)
I stared at it for a long moment, tracing the letters with my eyes, then looked up at him with a puzzled smile.
"ACD/C?" I asked, trying to keep a straight face, but unable to keep one of my eyebrows from raising.
"Is this like a play on lyrics? 'Thunderstruck' or something?
God, okay—please don't tell me you put an ACDC lyric in the garden and are going to say it's because you were 'thunderstruck' by me. That may be taking it a bit far."
He threw back his head and laughed—like a full-on-belly-laugh.
I couldn't help but laugh a bit—mine a little more awkwardly.
Fuck, he better not have put a lyric from Highway to Hell or some shit in my garden.
"Love, the ACD/C stands for Arthur Conan Doyle/Caden," he said, his eyes bright with mischief.
"Honestly—I couldn't resist the play on the letters. "
Now that was funny. "You are an absolute dork," I said, laughing. "I'll admit, though, it's a good play on the letters."
He wrapped his arm around my shoulders, pulled me in close and kissed the top of my head. He pulled back and settled beside me on the bench. "But the iron plaque—that's for our sixth anniversary. Iron is the traditional gift, and I wanted it to mean something more than just a piece of metal."
My heart clenched as the memory came flooding back. "Last year's anniversary. The one where you had to leave town at the last minute."
"And I sent you flowers from an app with a note saying we'd celebrate when I got back." His voice was heavy with regret. "But when I got back, there was another crisis, then another project deadline, and we never did celebrate. I let it slip away like it was just another day."
"But it did matter," I said quietly, my arms crossing over my chest, defensive at the memory.
"It mattered so much. Every anniversary matters. Every milestone we reach together matters." He wove his fingers into the hair at the nape of my neck, massaging as he played with it. My posture released a bit and, while my arms stayed crossed, my body leaned unconsciously into his hand.
"Iron represents strength, Felicity," he said. "The strength to weather any storm. The strength to build something that lasts. The strength I should have shown our marriage instead of letting other priorities get in the way of the important moments."
I leaned forward slightly, his hand dropping to my shoulder, as I read the quote again in the dancing light. The words seemed to shimmer with meaning—not just Doyle's words about love, but Caden's promise embedded in permanent iron at my feet.
"Your one and only thought," I said. "And now it's literally set in stone," I gestured to the plaque.
"Well, iron and concrete, but you know what I mean.
" Pausing, I added, "The real question, Caden, is whether it's true.
And whether you can keep up with it—or will you fall back on bad habits again? "
"It. Is. Forever." He said it with firmness.
He believed it. Truly. Now, I needed to as well.
His next words did a lot to help me get there.
"No matter what storms come, no matter what distractions try to pull us apart, those words will be here, and they will always be more than just words.
In this place that you created, in this space that saved you when I didn't, these words will be marked for all time.
But in my heart, in my words, and in my actions, they will be demonstrated for all time—one day at a time. "
The quiet took over then. A moment for both of us to reflect on the words he'd spoken aloud.
Sometime later, Caden spoke.
"You know, I came in that night, that anniversary, rushing to get out and save the high-rise project.
I remember seeing how amazing you looked, and I hated to leave you.
Hated to have to run up and pack a bag." He turned to look at me.
"It's something I've been thinking about—how in certain circumstances, different choices could have meant the difference between your feelings of being forgotten and the possibility of you being part of it all. "
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"Well, hindsight is twenty/twenty, but I think about how I could have asked you to come with me.
Sure, I would've been stuck in a conference room early the next morning, but I see now what a lost opportunity it was for us—for you to see how much you were still in my heart.
And for you to see firsthand the work I was buried under.
I could have involved you and included you in what I was going through. "
He blew out a breath. "I could have booked us first class, gotten us champagne, taken you to a fancy restaurant as soon as we landed—made a weekend out of something that was painfully exhausting.
Let you in. So much of my mindset was focused on putting the fire out that I didn't realize I was just transferring the fire from work to our marriage. "
Caden's face crumpled. "God, Felicity. I'm so sorry. I can picture you in that dress—it was blue and had little flowers on it, I think. You looked so beautiful, but sad."
I was surprised he remembered. "You noticed what I was wearing?"
"I did. And your hair was up in that big fancy bun on the top of your head." His voice broke slightly. "You looked beautiful. You are beautiful."
I felt something shift inside me at his words. Not just that he remembered, but that he'd truly seen me that night—even in his rush to leave. "I'd spent two hours getting ready," I admitted. "I kept thinking maybe if I looked perfect enough, you'd find a way to stay."
"You were perfect. You are perfect." He cupped my face gently. "And I'm so sorry that I made you feel like you had to compete for my attention."
I placed my hand over his, leaning into his touch. "The iron quote—it's beautiful. Caden..."
"Yes, love?"
"This whole garden transformation, the thoughtfulness behind every detail—it's showing me who you really are when you're present.
When you're focused on us." I gestured around at the fairy lights twinkling above us.
"This is the man I fell in love with. The one who notices details and creates magic. "
"I want to be that man every day, not just when I'm making up for mistakes."
"I know you do. And I can see that you're trying." I looked down at the iron plaque again, then back at his face. "I need you to actually embody these words. I need you to know that it's about being worth your thoughts. Worth your time. Worth your love."
"You are. You are worth more than all of it combined, Felicity."
I stood up and walked a few steps away, taking in the full scope of what he'd created here. The path that connected every corner of my garden, the lights that transformed it into something magical, the cedar arbor that welcomed us into this sacred space. Then I turned back to him.
"Caden, I need to tell you something that I've been thinking about since Miami."
He waited, patient and attentive.
"When I was on that trip—sitting on the beach by myself, touring the city alone, and celebrating my birthday with strangers.
..awesome strangers though. One day, I'll tell you all about the.
I digress though—in all of that—I realized that I'd forgotten how to be happy.
Not just content or okay, but actually a happy person.
That's not on you. That's on me." I sat back down beside him.
"It's not your job to make me a happy person.
It's my job to do that. It's your job not to get in the way of it.
It's your job, as my husband, to give me joyful moments and memories.
Just as it's my job to do the same for you.
But my happiness, and how I feel about myself, that isn't contingent on you and shouldn't be. "
"That said, you lost sight of me in the last few years—on some of my needs and my wants.
But I also recognize that you weren't never there.
You just missed the things that should have been big moments in our lives.
That lack of attention contributed to my own lack of focus on myself.
So, I stopped talking. I didn't tell you when things weren't well with my soul. I expected you to notice and change."
Caden gave me the space to think and to continue on, so I did.
"I listened to this podcast recently about expecting versus hoping—essentially that expectations, even with communication, will likely end in disappointment.
Hope, with or without communication, can go either way but ultimately won't ruin you when things don't pan out. "
I paused and let the silence sit between us again, giving weight to the moment.
"Caden, I want for us to work, and I want to forgive you—I do forgive you.
I didn't fall out of love with you because you stopped celebrating us, but I did lose a piece of my joy.
" I turned my body so one leg was hiked up on the bench and the other foot rested on the ground.
"What you did here," I said, motioning all around us, "this gives me joy again.
Real, honest joy. I have a ways to go to find my happiness, but this—this makes me see that you and I are not done.
" I reached for his hand. "I'm choosing you, Caden, one more day.
I say one more day because I truly believe you will continue to work on us every day.
In return, I will commit to telling you when things aren't right with me, when I'm not feeling seen or valued.
If things get tough with work, bring me along for the ride—or at least invite me and let me choose if I can handle it or not. Fair?"
Caden leaned forward and buried his face in the crook of my neck. "Felicity, it is more than fair. I will do anything and everything in my power to never stop showing you that you are valued in every inch of my heart."
As we sat there, embracing one another—just holding on in the stillness of the evening—a gentle breeze stirred the lights above us, making them dance in the darkness.
The iron plaque caught the light, the engraved words seeming to shine with promise.
This garden had been my refuge when I needed it most, but now it was something more—it was ours.
A place where we'd chosen each other, where we'd committed to building something beautiful together.
"So," I said, settling more comfortably against his side, "what's our next adventure going to be?"
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, we've got this beautiful garden, we're talking honestly with each other, we're making plans for the future. What do we want to do next?"
Caden was quiet for a moment, then smiled. "I have some ideas—one of which was already planned, so while I want to plan things with you as partners, this one has to be exempt," he said, turning the smile into the sweetest, most boyish grin.
"Okay, Sir Mystery—you can keep your plans." I leaned back into our embrace, enchanted by the scents in the air mingling with his own. This. This finally felt like home.
Above us, the fairy lights continued their gentle dance, and somewhere in the distance, I could hear the quiet hum of tomorrow's possibilities already beginning to charge.
I knew we were on the mend, but we weren't finished yet—there was still work ahead.
And not all of it would be easy. Jessica lingered at the edges of my mind, like a storm cloud you keep watching on the horizon, unsure when it will break.
I tightened my hold on Caden, choosing—for tonight at least—to focus on the warmth of his arms and the promise of what we were building together.