Just Fuck Already #2
“I should do one,” she decided, pacing next to him with her hands splayed on her hips near her lower back. “Yes, I’ll do it.”
“You will not,” he assured.
She spun to him. “Why not?” she demanded, looking rejected and offended about it.
“Have you not heard a word I said about this condition, and you?”
“Well yes, I have. And you’ll be fine—”
“I will not be fine, and neither will you.”
She crossed her arms, tucking her chin at him like he was being dramatic. “I will not be bothered by this, Skul.”
“Do you have any idea what this thing wants from you? What it has been begging me to take.”
“Take?” she echoed, then shot up her index finger as if setting her conditions. “You cannot take.”
“This thing doesn’t listen to reason, Hope,” he argued.
“Well, it’s listened all this time,” she countered.
“And I’m not the only one not fit for you to conduct your proper check-up.”
“Me?” she asked, ready to laugh.
“Yes, you,” he swore. “Would you like to know what my gifts have shown me about you?”
She became slightly guarded but couldn’t resist. “Yes.”
“That you are not just free, you’re reckless.”
She sighed and sagged and crossed her arms.
“Not impressed? Let’s go with from the moment we began speaking, you’ve been obliviously aroused.”
That widened her eyes.
“And my condition sees it, tastes it in the air, smells it. And your logic lusting? It’s literal.”
Her mouth dropped.
“Oh yeah,” he confirmed lowly, his lust a thousand degrees now.
“You spread for it. You get off to it. You fucking orgasm to it. And I watch until I’m out of my mind with jealousy.
And that oh shit look you’re wearing on your beautiful face right now is literally making me want to… holy fuck, I just said all that.”
He headed off the porch, pulling his phone out as Hope ran past him and blocked his path with both palms up and aimed at him. “Wait!” she said when he didn’t slow.
He stopped at her hands, and she snatched his phone and put it behind her, breathless, eyes cast down.
“Don’t go, please. I heard everything you said and…
I’ve never heard anything so… devastatingly…
shocking and… accurate and I can see now that my freedom is reckless because it hurt you, I should have…
if I had known…” She finally looked up at him, her face flush. “I would have been…”
“You can’t hide from me anymore than I can hide from you.”
She slowly returned his phone to him. “I don’t think it’s a reason to run off.”
Fuck him she needed to help—she needed to be needed.
“I can’t guarantee your safety if you attempt anything with me.”
Excitement surged in her transparent face. “You would never hurt me,” she said, tossing out the absurdity.
“Not in the way you’re thinking.”
Her exuberance slowly dimmed as she considered. “So your… disease is making you want me,” she muttered, sounding very disappointed. But not defeated.
“I know that the craving I have for you is vicious and perfect. The second you mentioned meeting others like me I decided I’d never bring you, because I will never want to share what’s only mine. It’s selfish, it’s violent, it’s psychotic. Why the fuck do you have that look?”
Her face snapped up, bewildered and dazed.
“You look as though I described your deepest fantasy!”
“Well, I… don’t see anything wrong with being vicious and perfectly obsessed over the one you… merge with.”
“Psychotic too?”
She shifted a little and held her arms, looking between them. “Psychotic is a tricky term and subjective to specificities. Passion can be volatile and explosive and… possessive without being psychotic.”
“I’m unstable!” he desperately pled.
She spun and blurted over her shoulder, “Then merge, I don’t get why you’re fighting it!”
He hurried after her up the porch. “I don’t want to be forced to merge, I want to decide that with my head not my dick.
” He stood, heaving before her where she rocked on the porch.
“Would you want your lust for logic dictating who you merged with? How would you know if you’re lusting after them or the contents of what’s in their head? ”
She angled a perturbed look up at him. “Because they are the contents in their head. And maybe you are the contents of this perfect, obsessive lust?” she suggested with raised brows.
He stared at her.
“Why does it have to be such a terrible disease? Because it’s so big and strong and potent?
Sounds like your manhood was a motorboat and now it’s a swamp dragon.
I can’t imagine a woman not being thrilled to pieces about that, I know I would be!
What are you afraid of, really? Sharing your life with another person?
Sharing control? You still have control, you’ve been practicing it this entire time, else you’d have…
given in to…” She fluttered her fingers and eyes then shot off the chair and went inside.
“I need some chamomile tea, you have me in a state.”
He followed her in, stopping at the island. “A state,” he said.
“I can’t breathe around you.”
He stared at her pacing before the stove. “Why? Say it since you don’t fear any truth.”
“I have said it. In pieces. Put them together, King!”
“Just King? Not your King? Am I your King when you’re not angry and just King when you are?”
“I’m not angry, I’m as you say, literally aroused.
I’m aroused okay? With you, your mind, your mouth, your body, your everything and I don’t have a disease, or maybe I do, maybe whatever is wrong with Pah-Pah is wrong with me and I’m just affected differently.
From the second I saw you on that pier, I’ve been riding a shooting star through the universe!
I have wanted to merge with you—no, I have been merging with you since I saw you there and I don’t even care that it might be your stupid disease making you want to merge with me, I want you enough for both of us!
There, God, I said it! I don’t fear the truth and that is the truth! ”
He turned and headed for the door.
“Fine, leave! I don’t care! Never come back!”
He shut it then locked it.