36. We’re Out of Shampoo #2
"You’re an idiot," I whisper, and his face flickers with hurt before I grab it and kiss him hard. "No, both of us are idiots," I say against his lips. "You loved me even when I was too stupid to see it. And I loved you without knowing what to call it."
"Max—"
"Less talking," I decide, "more... this."
I shift down his body, pushing at his thighs until he spreads them to make room for me. Leo watches me move, propped up on his elbows, and the look in his eyes is something I want to bottle and keep forever.
Dazed, I think. Excited. Hungry, for me. I lean in and nuzzle against the bulge in his boxers, feeling the heat of him through the thin cotton. Leo's breath stutters.
"You sure?" he asks, even as his hips twitch up toward my mouth. "We don't have to—"
"I want to." I look up at him through my lashes, channeling every ounce of confidence I don't actually feel. "Lift your hips."
He lifts. I drag his boxers down and off, tossing them somewhere behind me, and then Leo's cock is right there. Hard and flushed and already leaking at the tip, curving up toward his stomach. Mine, some possessive part of my brain whispers. This is mine now.
I lean in and lick a slow stripe up the side of his shaft.
Leo's head falls back. "Holy… Max!" I grin and do it again.
And again. Working my lips up and down the sides of his cock, pressing kisses everywhere I can reach, learning the shape of him with my mouth.
The vein that runs along the underside. The sensitive spot right below the head that makes his thighs tense.
The way he tastes, clean from last night's shower, with a hint of salt.
"You're—" Leo's voice cracks. "You're killing me."
"Good killing or bad killing?"
"Good. Definitely good. So good. Please." I take pity on him and wrap my lips around the head of his cock, sinking down as far as I can manage without gagging. Which isn't that far, honestly, he's big, and I'm still learning, but Leo makes a sound I've never heard from him before.
Like I wrecked him. Good… I like this sound.
I bob my head, finding a rhythm, using my hand to cover what my mouth can't reach. Leo's fingers tangle in my hair, not pushing; he's holding on. His hips twitch, tiny aborted thrusts that he's clearly fighting to control.
"Max… Max, I need…"
I pull off with an obscene pop. "Need what?"
His eyes are wild when he looks down at me. "Need to be inside you. Right now. Can I… will you let me…"
"Yes." The word comes out embarrassingly fast. "Yes. How do you want me?"
"Turn around." His voice has gone commanding in a way that makes my whole body shiver. "Face away from me. I want to see what I'm doing while I prep you."
I scramble to obey, which is less graceful than I'd like. My knee connects with something as I try to swing my leg over him— "Ow!"
"Oh my gosh, sorry! Blasters, I'm so sorry!" I freeze, horrified. "Was that your head? Did I knee you in the temple?"
Leo's laughing, one hand pressed to the side of his head. "It's fine. I have another one."
"You have another temple?"
"Another side. For you to knee." He's still laughing as he grabs my leg and guides it over his head, positioning me so I'm straddling his chest backward. "There. Now stay still."
"I'm so sorry—"
"Max." His hands settle on my ass, and suddenly I'm not thinking about his head anymore. "Forget the temple."
"But I—" He squeezes, and I groan.
"Temple forgotten?" Leo asks, sounding way too smug.
"What temple?" I hear him fumble in the nightstand behind me. The click of a bottle. Then slick fingers are sliding between my cheeks, and I forget my own name.
"Okay?" Leo asks, rubbing circles around my entrance.
"More than okay. Very okay. Extremely—" His finger pushes inside, and my words dissolve into a moan.
The angle is weird, and I'm acutely aware that Leo has a direct view of my bum right now, which should be mortifying but mostly feels hot.
His finger works in and out of me, slow and deliberate, and I find myself pushing back against it, chasing more.
"Greedy," Leo murmurs, and adds a second finger.
I'm supposed to be doing something. What was I doing? Right… Leo's dick is right there, curving up in front of my face, and I lean forward and lick the tip.
"Fuck!" Leo's hips buck. "Warn a guy."
"Payback for the squeeze," I manage, then close my lips around him again. For a few minutes, it's good. Better than good. I'm sucking Leo's dick while his fingers open me up, and it feels like the best kind of multitasking, like all my systems are finally running in sync.
And then Leo crooks his fingers and finds that spot, and I have to pull off and press my forehead against his hip because my whole body just short-circuited. "There?" Leo sounds way too pleased with himself.
"Ngghh."
"I'll take that as a yes." He keeps rubbing, spreading his fingers, stretching me while simultaneously destroying my ability to think. I'm making sounds I didn't know I could make, hips rocking back against his hand, reduced to nothing but sensation and need.
"Leo. Leo, please!"
"Please, what?"
"Turn me around. I need… I want…" His fingers withdraw, and I whimper at the loss. But then his hands are on my hips, lifting and turning me like I weigh nothing, and I'm reminded all over again that my lanky, dreamy boyfriend is secretly strong.
He settles me so I'm straddling his hips, face-to-face now, his cock pressing hot against my ass. "Hi," he says softly.
"Hi." I'm panting, flushed, probably a complete mess. "I want you inside me."
"Yeah?" His hands slide up my thighs. "How do you want it?"
"Like this. I want to—" I roll my hips, and we both groan. "I want to ride you."
Leo's pupils blow wide. "Condom?"
The question makes me pause. We've used condoms both times before. It's the smart thing to do, the responsible thing, and I'm opening my mouth to say yes, obviously. But then I look at him. Really look. Leo, flushed and wanting and mine, asking me something that isn't really about latex at all.
It's about trust. About as close as two people can get. About nothing between us, not physically, not anymore. Leo's looking at me like he's offering me something fragile. Something more than just skin on skin.
I forget how to breathe for a second, and Leo speaks before I can answer. "I haven't been with anyone since our first time. And I had a clean checkup before we got together." He meets my eyes. "If you want to… I mean, we don't have to, but..."
My brain spins through the calculations. Leo, clean. Me, never having done more than kiss anyone else. The math is simple. "I've never been tested," I admit, "but I've never… I mean, you're the only one I've ever..." I gesture vaguely at the situation.
Leo blinks. His jaw loosens. His eyes go shiny in a way that makes me want to kiss him stupid. "Really?"
"You know you were my first."
"I know. But I didn't know for sure I was your only."
"Who else would I want?" The question comes out more raw than I intended. But it's true. It's always been true. Even when I was going on dates with other people, trying to figure out what I wanted, the answer was always Leo. I didn't know how to see it.
"Bare?" Leo asks, voice rough.
I nod. "Bare." He groans and pulls me down for a kiss, a deep and filthy kiss. When we break apart, his hands find my hips again.
"Go slow," he says. "Take what you need." I reach back and take his cock in hand. It's slick with lube.
When did he do that? Doesn't matter. He's hot and hard, and I position the tip against my hole. Then I look into his eyes and say, "I love you."
His breath catches. "I love you too." I start to lower myself.
Even with all the prep, there's a sting.
Leo's grip on my hips is iron-strong, not letting me rush, and I'm grateful for it even as I want to take him fast. I move in small increments, sinking down an inch, then rising up, working him inside me bit by bit.
"You feel—" Leo's voice is strained. "Max, you feel incredible."
"So do you." I drop another inch and gasp. "Big. You feel very big."
"Flatterer."
"It's not flattery, it's structural engineering." He laughs, which makes his cock twitch inside me, which makes us both groan. It's a blissful circuit. His head falls back against the pillow, throat exposed, and I want to bite it. I want to mark him up so everyone knows he's mine.
Spreading my knees wider, I drop down, taking all of him in one movement. The stretch is intense. I think I make a sound, something between a yelp and a moan, and Leo's hands spasm on my hips.
"Okay?" he gasps.
"More than okay." I roll my hips experimentally, and stars explode behind my eyes. "Oh, wow. Wow, wow, wow… That's… you're so deep."
"Can you move?" Instead of answering, I lift myself up and sink back down. Leo groans. His head is thrown back, the cords of his neck standing out, and his grip on my hips is so tight I hope it bruises.
Is it weird that I want him to mark me? That I want to look in the mirror tomorrow and see his fingerprints on my skin? Probably… I don't care.
I find a rhythm, lifting and dropping, and it's good, it's so good, but every time I get close to coming, Leo slows me down. His hands are controlling my pace, not letting me rush. "Leo," I whine. "Please."
"Please, what?"
"Let me… I need…"
"Tell me." His voice is commanding again. "Use your words."
"I need to come."
"Hmm." He rolls his hips up, hitting that spot, and I see white. "Not yet."
"Leo!"
"You're so pretty like this." He sounds wrecked but pleased, like watching me fall apart is the best thing that's ever happened to him. "All desperate and needy. You have no idea how long I've wanted to see you like this."
"I'll be desperate and needy after I come, please—"
"After?" His grin is wicked. "Is that a promise?"
"It's a threat!" He laughs and pulls me down for a messy kiss. Then his hands shift on my hips, no longer restraining, now guiding, and he plants his feet on the mattress and thrusts up.