Chapter 11 Tessa
Tessa
What in the ever-loving fuck…
I’ve woken up in my share of hotel rooms, plenty of times—typically my own. But this? Why did he bring me here?
The second I awoke to the sound of running water, I bolted without sparing a second to think—not like Levi didn’t just give me the orgasm of my goddamn life last night, but to bring me back to his room after I’d passed out? Who fucking does something like that?
I stumbled out of the elevator, my mind losing all control of rational thought as I frantically navigated my way down the long halls in search of the front desk and access to a phone.
I needed to call Alex before he freaked the fuck out and called a damn search party.
Because that would go over so well with the media.
Famed actress abducted by a male stripper after giving her the most mind-blowing orgasm of her life. Fuck.
Before careening around another corner, following the posted placards along the walls, I paused, attempting to compose myself as much as possible before allowing anyone to get a glimpse of me.
I straightened my silk blouse and pulled my skirt down to a reasonable level.
Dignity. I still had my dignity. Didn’t I?
As I twisted my hair up into a messy bun and roughly secured it with a removable strap from my bra, I realized I knew this hotel. Levi was staying at The Empress.
With a disgruntled groan, I pulled myself together the best I could and rounded the last corner into the lobby, taking agile steps toward the end of the customer service counter.
“I need a phone.” The words fell out of my mouth like vomit; I didn’t even give the employee a second to acknowledge who the hell I was before I slapped my hand on the marble with my urgent demand. “Now. Please.”
“Oh, Miss Bradley! I’m s-so sorry. I did-didn’t know you were staying with us. Is there something wrong with your room?” The young and timid employee working the customer service desk stumbled over his words as he turned to face me, struggling to maintain his composure as I failed to do the same.
Yes, if you count the mind-melting, orgasm-inducing man in the shower and the lack of a skyline view…
Honestly, now that I thought about it, it didn’t sound that bad…
Shut the fuck up, Tessa…
“I wasn’t… staying,” I gritted out through clenched teeth, trying not to lose my temper along with my poise. “Phone. Please…” It was never my intention to have to beg, but at this juncture, I really had no choice.
The longer I stood there, the more time I had to think about what got me into this position in the first place—far too much champagne and a man who made me question everything about my goddamn state of mind…
Sex does things to a woman—emotionally, especially breathtaking sex. And with the way Levi handled my body. Fuck, I wanted more—needed more.
That man was a drug that came with a high unlike any other, and for once, I didn’t feel like he expected me to be anything more than what I was at face value, and that was the only kind of attention I craved from anyone anymore. Authentic, real.
I tasted freedom when I bit down on his shoulder, and it was fucking liberating.
Staring down at the white marble counter swirled with metallic gold veins, I pursed my lips, realigning my thoughts and concentrating on where to go from here. Considering all my endless possibilities, right up until the drawbacks started flooding in…
What if this was all for his gain? Manipulating me into a vulnerable state? What if he took photos while I was asleep? What if he sold them?
For fuck sake. I didn’t want any of that to be true.
And then there was this small part of me that wished he had chased me down to the lobby and instead of allowing me to call for help, dragged my ass back up to his floor, kicking and screaming, before fucking me raw in every corner of his—
“The phone, Ma’am. Do you know the number for the individual you are trying to reach?” The employee cleared his throat loudly, and my gaze shot up to find his.
I could feel my cheeks heating as my heart pounded against my chest from my dark and depraved thoughts. I didn’t think getting laid would turn me into a fucking lunatic, and even then, he never actually fucked me with his dick, so does that even count?
Why am I even asking myself that question…
“Y-yes. I can take it from here. Thank you.” My tone dropped an octave as my mind swarmed out of control. I felt drugged, only I wasn’t.
Layers of stress and anxiety were piling on me one by one as I dialed Alex’s number and waited for him to answer—every ring taking longer than the next.
“Hello?”
“Alex!” I whisper-shouted, cupping the mic to my mouth so no one could hear the panic in my voice.
“Holy fuck, Tessa. Where the hell have you been? Everyone is freaking the fuck out right now.” Everyone? Who the hell is everyone? I knew for a fact that the girls in my entourage didn’t give two shits about me; they were only there for the appearance and popularity points.
“Story for another time, just please come get me at The Empress. I need to get out of here… now.” My eyes slowly drifted to the elevator bay behind me, praying to god that Levi didn’t show up before Alex.
“Alright, alright. I’ll be there in five.”
“Five? As in minutes? Where the fuck are you?”
“I called Theodore when I couldn’t find you—” Teddy? He called Teddy? “He said you rarely disappear, but in the past, when you did, you always ended up at The Empress. So I parked nearby in hopes that he’d be right, and he was.”
Tears welled up in my eyes at the notion that Theodore would remember something so trivial about me, or even care to disclose that kind of information to Alex.
“I’ll meet you out back. He mentioned that was your usual rendezvous point.”
“Y-yeah… okay…” My voice cracked as I hung up the phone, wiping a stray tear from my cheek before silently backing away from the front desk and taking flight to the rear entrance.
What an emotional fucking roller coaster of a morning.
After Alex had returned me to my home in Malibu, I took a long, hot shower to wash away any remnants of guilt I had left to spare. Once finished, I wrapped myself in a warm, fluffy robe and crash-landed in the center of my bed, curling myself into a fetal position.
I didn’t regret the events of last night; for the first time, I was actually questioning why I had run so fast. What was I so afraid of?
I’ll admit I’d been gradually spiraling for days…
weeks… for fucking months, and I felt as though I was finally approaching the bottom of my barrel—my breaking point.
Suffocating under the weight of my endless, toxic thoughts of undeserved worth and lapse of judgment that threatened to end me whenever I was left alone.
What would it look like to the public eye if I cozied up to a male revue dancer?
What kind of impression would that give to my character?
Would anyone care? Would they cancel me?
Rolling onto my other side, I stared at the blush pink wig displayed on my vanity. A strange parting gift from Theodore, for the days when you need an easy escape—his cryptic words I could never understand until now.
The idea he’d brought up years ago sounded crazy at first, and I declined his suggestion to wear yet another fake persona just to be myself outside of these walls.
How could I be me if I didn’t look anything like it? What would be the fucking point?
Dragging a pillow over my face, I groaned into it, and as I did, my stomach twisted at the memory of Levi once again.
A complete and total stranger who gave me butterflies and left an impression that lingered far longer than anyone else.
He somehow found a way to imprint on me just as I had marked myself on his shoulder.
It didn’t feel like a casual encounter as I’d intended it to be—not a simple one-night stand where we forgot each other once it was all over. The two of us left spent and satisfied, one performing the walk of shame.
I couldn’t have him as Hollywood Tessa, not unless I wanted to trash the image I’d sacrificed my soul and sanity to build. But, I could have him as someone else—the real me, only with a fake name and pink hair…
Okay, so not the real me, but I had no other means of compromise. It was the wig or continuing to live this desolate life with nothing left to give, and respectfully, fuck that.
My gaze wandered around the room, taking in all the overpriced items, from my favorite Jimmy Choo shoes to Hermès handbags, as well as Tiffany and Cartier jewelry.
Having everything meant nothing these days.
What was life without true love and genuine affection? Something I’d never have a chance of experiencing if I remained locked away in this world like Rapunzel in her tower.
I wanted more than money could ever buy.
The grass wasn’t greener on this side of the fence; it was fucking fake—all of it.
Tobias and Marissa? They didn’t love each other—like actually fucking love...
They were just pawns in a game of celebrity chess, using one another for admiration and attention. Once their relationship became too boring or irrelevant to the media, they’d split up and find the next person to latch on to—like a fucking parasite for publicity.
That was the cycle of life here.
That was all I would ever see unless I took matters into my own hands.
Took the leap of faith.
And suddenly I found myself running away from everything given to me, before ever allowing someone else to take it away.
Tessa Bradley—America’s sweetheart no more.
RIP.