Chapter 36
Tessa
Processing a truckload of information over a two-day timespan was mentally taxing. Having an open mind made things easier, but only slightly. There were still decisions to be made, each with its own set of consequences.
I didn’t want them to sense any of my hesitance. I knew it was a minor, fleeting feeling, and all I needed was a little extra time to adjust.
Choosing to remain married to Lucas and Levi required no further consideration. I knew I had fallen for them and would only be doing myself a disservice by denying my feelings the opportunity to breathe out in the open.
Of all the mistakes I could make, turning a blind eye to those two men would be one of monumental regret; so I embraced them, instead of running away like a coward.
The secret society and murder, on the other hand, would take a little more consideration, but it still wouldn’t stop me. While I’ve never even auditioned for a role that would’ve placed me in a similar fictional scenario, that didn’t leave it entirely off the table.
I could complete the requirement… right?
I mean, even now, I found myself leaning toward violence when cornered, more often than not; the night in the alley triggered something inside me, like unlocking an ancient door that had been bolted and welded shut for centuries—probably for good reason.
What if I was messed up?
What if I wasn’t meant to be murderous?
What if I couldn’t go through with it?
Lucas and Levi never formally disclosed what would happen if I failed my test. I just automatically assumed that the repercussion would be death, and they never suggested otherwise—secrets…
taken to the grave. I suppose there was always a little truth behind the stories that made it onto the big screen.
“You ready, babygirl?” Levi called from the doorway, and I tipped my head to the side, seeing him from the corner of my eye. I sat at the edge of Lucas’ bed facing the window, holding my wig in my hands.
The three of us had to work tonight. However, this would be my first shift back at Pulse as more than just Evie Sinclair… Mrs. Castiel.
“Yeah… I just… need another minute.”
Every choice until this moment had been easy. Why was it so hard for me to just let the world see me for who I truly was—who I am?
“If you’re more comfortable wearing the wig, then you should. We understand.”
“No, it’s not that… I mean it is, but it isn’t.”
Tessa was too well-known, easily identifiable, and right now, I just wanted to remain in this pristine state of bliss—a nobody to everyone but my husbands, for just a little while longer.
Turning my attention back to the wig, it felt like a crippling weight resting at my fingertips.
I felt the mattress sink beside me, and then a set of strong arms pulled me into a warm and comforting embrace.
Levi’s cologne enveloped me in a cocoon of serenity, and all I could imagine was being submerged in his scent.
“Why don’t you take the night off? Lucas and I will be back right after closing.”
“I’m not going to hide myself away in this penthouse, I did enough of that in Malibu.” I leaned into his embrace, pressing my temple against his shoulder. “I just wish I could say fuck it and not care what anyone else thinks of me. I’m so tired of pretending that I’m-I’m—”
“Perfect?” Levi’s hand caressed the column of my neck, and my eyes fell shut before I allowed the tears to have a chance to fall.
No matter how hard I tried, these fragments, these tiny spurts of overwhelming disappointment and depression, continued to hunt me down as if I were their prey to feast upon.
“Babygirl, you don’t need to pretend to be anything.
You are a fucking gift. The silver lining to our fucked up lives that fell into our laps and gave us purpose and a future.
Luke and I thought we had it all until you showed up and made us realize that we were missing a vital piece to our existence.
So whatever is eating at you, convincing you otherwise, is wrong.
” The pad of his thumb dragged across my trembling lower lip as his voice lowered and slowed. “So, fucking, wrong.”
I let his words sink in as my body relaxed, the tension and self-deprication fading into white noise.
“We’re going to be late.” Lucas sang from the hall, and my mood promptly switched gears as I tilted my head back to see Levi’s beautiful blue eyes smiling down on me.
“Come on. Before he decides to make us all stay home, and you know he fucking would.” He kissed my forehead with a lingering inhale before letting me go and then stood from the bed. “We’ll meet you by the elevator when you’re ready. Take all the time you need, babygirl.”
Sighing to myself as he exited the room, I could hear the two of them having a moment of their own on their way out the door, and it made me wonder why I held onto all this doubt in the first place. Why I felt like a prisoner in my own body…
One more night as Evie… Just one more.
Trying to be as nonchalant as possible, we separated upon arrival. Lucas and Levi made a direct beeline to their office while I strolled to the locker room, alone. They wanted a grand entrance with poppers and confetti. I just needed one more evening of flying under the radar.
Perched behind one of the vanities in the lounge, I had just finished applying a layer of clear gloss while openly admiring the reflection of my newest, most prized accessory in the mirror, right before my head was aggressively yanked back, hard enough to loosen my wig from my roots, making my body slump down in the chair.
“What the fuck?!” I barked, jerking my head around just as Brandi lashed out with her hand, whipping me across the face with her palm.
The force of her swing had my head snapping to the side, and the pain lingered on my cheek as my aggression toward her from the sting ignited like a matchstick set to burn right out of the box.
“You slimy fucking whore. I knew it was you. I ordered you to stay the fuck away from them.” Brandi screamed her accusation and insult at the top of her lungs. Her eyes filled with rage as her hands balled into fists at her side, ready to have another go at me.
“I-what—holy—” She took another swing and I swiftly ducked down, falling off the chair and onto my ass in the process, finding myself now staring up at her as she threateningly stepped over me.
“I told you they were mine. Mine. And you had the fucking audacity to come in here and take not one, but both of them from me.” Brandi’s voice shook with her words and all the violence she could possibly muster.
That’s where all her bullshit stemmed from. Jealousy.
I knew for a fact that Lucas and Levi would’ve expected more from their wife than this—for me just to sit down and take her shit like a weak bitch.
I refused to be her prey or a punching bag, and I had far too much dignity to let someone like Brandi take me down without a fight.
I also didn’t give a fuck about what she had to say.
I knew the truth, and I was about to hand her all of it on a silver fucking platter.
Picking myself up from the floor, I reached for the glass bottle of water that had been left on the corner of the vanity and gripped it by the neck.
“They aren’t yours,” I declared smoothly, feeling the cooling sensation soak into my palm as I admired the impressive weight of the glass, staring down at it and watched the condensation slide down the side before dripping to the floor.
“They never were. You’re nothing more than a liar and a coward. ”
My eyes met hers as I sneered with animalistic aggression, becoming territorial over the two men I would fight tooth and nail to keep.
“How-how dare you fucking talk to me like that, you-you—” Brandi stuttered as I interrupted her words by smashing the bottle on the edge of the vanity. The base shattered on impact with sharp and jagged edges now on full display, just like my own.
Startled, she took a cautious step back, and without faltering, I made my move.
Lunging forward and backing her pompous ass right up against the wall with her throat collared by my hand.
Brandi’s pulse quickened, beating rapidly against the center of my palm as I pinned her in place with no room for escape, and I smiled like I’d won the fucking jackpot at High Rise.
“Call me a whore again and I’ll show you exactly who the fuck I am, Brandi.
” I snarled, pressing the sharpest point of my weapon into the vulnerable underside of her jaw.
The abrupt movement caused my loosened wig to slide the rest of the way off my head, falling to my feet, revealing me for who I truly was.
“You-you’re—oh my god—”
The door to the lounge flew open, interrupting her as it slammed with a loud bang against the wall, and two dominating men entered. Brandi’s attention veered immediately to them, her eyes softening into those of a meek and obedient pet.
Oh, here we fucking go… I knew this card all too well…
“Levi, Lucas, help!” She began submissively pleading her case to them; whimpering, eyes filling with fake ass tears, the whole nine-fucking-yards. “She attacked me out of nowhere. I don’t—it was completely unprovoked. I-I was walking past her and she just fucking snapped.” Oh, come the fuck on.
“Liar!” My hand holding the broken bottle started to tremble as I squeezed her throat a little tighter, my eyes never leaving my reflection in the glass as I fought the urge to drive it under her skin.
She was making me sound crazy, and I could feel the feral urge to shut her the fuck up, to end her tirade and fake cries. It was calling like a sweet siren, begging for me to give in.
Do it.
Do it.
Do it.
“The new girl is a fucking lunatic. Just look at her. Look at what she’s done to me—threatening to kill me right in front of you.
” Brandi’s panic escalated the longer I held her in place, the harder I squeezed, slowly cutting off her ability to breathe.
“Fucking do something, Lucas!” She shrieked as his name came out, nothing more than a strained wheeze.
I wanted to see her dead, whether by strangulation or brutal stabbing.
I was losing myself to the fury and rage she had ignited within me.
“Let her go, babygirl.” Levi.
“Come here, princess.” Lucas.
With a killer smirk of satisfaction, I released my hold on Brandi, dropping my hands to my sides as I took slow, precise steps away from her, stopping right between my husbands the second I could feel their warmth sinking into my skin.
“You can’t be fucking serious right now?
Levi, she just tried to shove broken glass into my neck.
Why are you defending her?” Cradling her marked throat, Brandi’s eyes bounced between the three of us, frantic and now unstable as she unraveled at the sight of what she couldn’t have—what I had.
“Can’t you two see that Evie’s a fake? That’s not even her goddamn name; she's been wearing a wig this entire time, lying to you both about her identity.” No one spoke or reacted to her accusation, allowing her to fall into her spiral.
“She’s that fucking has-been actress everyone’s looking for! ”
For a brief moment, I saw Marissa in her eyes. The only other woman who believed that I had become irrelevant. If I were so insignificant, then why were they still trying to find me?
I felt Levi’s hand snake around my waist, pulling me closer to his side and out of my head. With a wicked smile, I crossed my arms over my chest, standing tall and confident.
“You’re fired, Brandi. Get the fuck out of my club.”
“You—Yours?” Her choked-out laughter turned mocking as she relaxed and fell back into her patronizing personality. “You don’t own shit here, Tessa.” She hissed my real name, attempting to rub salt on a wound that wasn’t even open anymore.
“No, but my husbands do.” I shrugged carelessly, satisfied that I had the pleasure of informing her of our marriage personally, face-to-fucking-face.
“Husbands? You can’t—what the—you two married this fucking psycho?” Brandi pointed her finger at me, her mouth agape at the news, as she remained speechless when neither of them spoke up to correct what I had said.
Because yes, they fucking did.
“I’m done here,” I openly stated, breaking my attention away from her. She no longer deserved it.
I spun my body around to look up at Lucas, and then to Levi, before pressing my forehead against his shoulder with an exhausted sigh.
“I need some air… before I steal hers,” I uttered with a guttural sound, feeling Levi give my waist another firm squeeze before loosening his grip, and Lucas pressed a warm palm to the small of my back, escorting me from the lounge.
“I’m coming for you, Tessa. I know who the fuck you are now.” Brandi seethed, and just before the door shut behind us, I glanced over my shoulder to where she still stood against the wall, huffing and puffing as if she’d just run a marathon and lost.
“Good luck with that.”
That was all I had left to say to her before wrapping myself around Lucas’s arm, letting the door close, and leaving Levi behind to sort out the trash.