Chapter 39
Tessa
Levi’s hesitation was wasting whatever time we had. If he was out here, that meant Lucas was still inside with the man I was supposed to kill.
“Levi, I understand your reluctance and concern, but we don’t have time for this. I can kill him—I will kill him.”
He wrapped his hands around my head, cradling it with palms pressed into my cheeks as he captured my undivided attention, eyes frantically scanning mine for any sign of doubt.
I could see his fear in them, clear as day, and it made my heart sink to know that I’d elicited that from him.
That I’d exposed a weak spot in a man so resilient.
“I’d forfeit my life for yours if the need arose.” His words were as tight as his jaw, reflecting the struggle he faced and the internal war he refused to end. Trembling, shaking, I don’t even think he had taken a single second to breathe, his lungs locking away what air he had left.
I’ve never seen him in a state like this.
“That’s not how this works, Levi, and you know it.
” The horror that filled his eyes gave it away from the day he brought it up.
“Where’s that tough guy attitude? The one that screams fuck around and find out?
Did the target knock it out of you when he gave you that shiner?
” I tried my damnedest to lighten the mood, anything to see him smile and take away the foreboding guilt as I ran my hands along his strong forearms.
Levi huffed an airy laugh, dropping his forehead to mine, while taking a deep, relaxing breath.
“No, babygirl. He didn’t… I just—You’re right. Let’s get you inside and finish this guy off so we can take you home, permanently.”
“I like the sound of that, all of that.”
And just like flipping a switch, he brushed his shoulders off along with the weight that had settled on them as he returned to his full height, taking one last look at me.
How hard could pulling a trigger be?
As Levi led me into the venue and up the escalators to the second floor, I could feel my stomach bottoming out—a ball of bile collecting in the back of my throat and burning it to hell, exactly where this life-altering decision was about to take me.
I fought the urge to show my anxiety outwardly; Levi already seemed far calmer than he had moments ago, and I didn’t want to send him back to wherever I’d just pulled him out from.
I could do this, couldn’t I?
This was all mind over matter, no different from the entertainment industry. Everyone did shady, illegal, even borderline bat shit crazy things to get to where they were. What I was about to do was the same, just a little more bloody…
God, look at me. Going above and beyond to justify that murder is like every other stepping stone in life. Fuck, get it together, quit questioning, and just do the damn thing, T—
“Tessa.” Levi’s serious voice interrupted my thoughts just as he’d stopped us in front of an unmarked door and took my right hand in his.
“Listen to me.” His voice was rough as he slid the handle of something hard, heavy, and cold into my palm.
“Don’t let your emotions get the better of you.
The man in that room isn’t just some innocent victim we dragged off the street.
We don’t kill for the fuck of it; if that were the case, Luke and I never would’ve joined in the first place.
We aren’t monsters, babygirl. There is a purpose and a much, much bigger picture that you’ll come to know later on. ”
Dropping my gaze from his, I stared down at the item I now held in my hand—a pistol, the weight grounding me like an anchor.
It’s simply pulling a trigger. That’s all this is. Aim and shoot.
Levi leaned down to nuzzle the side of my head as his lips found their way to the shell of my ear.
“I love you, babygirl. No matter what decision you make right now. Fight or flee, it doesn’t matter. I’ll love you and protect you at all costs.”
My heart raced as my face flushed with a burning, prickling sensation. My lips turned numb from the wave of anxiety that crashed into me, shocking my system into reality, its severity, and my own volition.
“Open the door.” I breathed, unable to take my eyes off the gun as I heard the latch click. Immediately, I lifted my eyes to meet Lucas’, his handsome dimples on full display, beaming at the sight of me in the doorway.
“Sit up straight and tall, buddy, you’re in the presence of royalty now.
” His light chuckle was a reminder of why I was willing to go through with this.
For them, for me. Because for once in my life, I had the ability to forge my own path based on who I was and what I wanted for myself.
“He’s ready for you, princess.” Lucas patted the restrained man on the shoulder before stepping aside.
My target was in one of the lounge chairs, a bungee cord tightly secured around his chest limiting his movement, and a rope bound his legs together to prevent running.
There was also a thick piece of black duct tape placed across his mouth, muffling any screams or grunted curses he had as he squirmed for survival.
Watching him struggle reminded me of the back alley—the man who tried to assault me, whom I’d envisioned in this exact position, at my fucking mercy. I cocked my head to the side, lifted the gun, aiming as best I could for the center of his head. My hollow, mindless gaze locked on his.
A fog crept over me, my palms starting to hum and tremble against the metal as I saw them in his darkened eyes. Demoralizing, stripping me down the longer I stood in his presence.
I saw Marissa, preaching about how far I had fallen from my throne as she claimed everything I once held, all for herself. Then there was Brandi, calling me a psycho and trying her fucking hardest to convince my husbands that I didn’t deserve them or their love.
And it wasn’t just those two harpies spitting their venomous bullshit and lies.
It was my father, the last time I saw him before he stepped out of my life.
My mother, as she selfishly faded from my memory, forgetting that I ever existed.
And it was the back of Theodore’s head when he exited my front door for the last fucking time…
Don’t let your emotions get the better of you.
Warm hands snaked around my waist on either side, and for the first time, I could identify them just by their touch. Levi, with his reassuring squeeze, and Lucas, with the light graze from his thumb as he dragged it in an undulating motion.
“You’ve got this, babygirl.”
“Send him to hell, princess.”
There’s no coming back from this…
Bang…
It took days for me to emotionally recover from what I’d done.
I didn’t speak, and my husbands took care of me in shifts.
When one had to leave for the show or the club, the other didn’t leave my side.
I guess that was another one of those wonderful perks that came with sharing brothers; I was never alone. They were always right there.
Around the fourth day, I finally managed to drag myself out of Levi’s bed and into the living room, curling up beside him on the couch as he scrolled through channels for something to watch.
“How are you feeling?” His voice was a low, comforting rumble as he pulled my body into his lap, wrapping me in his embrace.
“Better… I still can’t get the sight out of my head, but the guilt has subsided.
” My shot wasn’t perfect by any means. I had never handled a gun before, real or prop, only watching actors from afar using them on set in a simulated capacity.
But it’d hit where it mattered most. Lucas said he was dead in an instant, and I believed him. I had to.
I never asked either of them what the man’s crime was, the reason for his death, and truthfully, I didn’t want to know… What if he had a wife? A family?
“Make some room!” Lucas chanted as he hopped the back of the couch with a bowl of popcorn, spilling half of its contents over Levi and me.
“Seriously, Luke?” His brother snarled, pulling me even closer as if Lucas would steal me away from him within a matter of seconds.
“What are we watching?” Lucas spoke through a half-chewed mouthful as he ignored Levi and made himself comfortable beside us.
“We aren’t watching anything right now. We are having an intimate conversation that you are rudely interrupting.” There was a playfulness to Levi’s agitation. Like he was mad, but wasn’t at the same time.
“Right,” Lucas droned, dragging out the word for as long as he could. “Then hand over the remote and have your intimate moment in the bedroom because there’s a new series I want to watch full of mindfuckery and murder.”
“Murder?…” Levi scowled with a slight growling undertone that vibrated from his throat as he massaged his temples with the thumb and forefinger of his free hand. “Read the room, Luke.”
“What? She said she was over it. You’re over it, right, princess?” Lucas smirked at me with charming sarcasm and his dimples that I loved so much. “Besides, I think thinking about what happened at Luminary in fictional terms might make it easier to accept.”
“How, exactly? Please, enlighten us with your wisdom on healing through trash TV.”
“Well, first of all—”
“No… You know what, I think he makes a valid point.” I chimed in before their disagreement escalated to a level that might force me back into hiding for another week. “I think I need the brain rot right now. Something to pull me out of this headspace.”
“I’ve got a head I’d like to pull out of you.”
“Luke!” Levi barked, smacking Lucas upside his head, and I couldn’t resist the laughter that bubbled up from my chest at the sight. I loved their banter and bickering. Always a refreshing sight, especially when—
“Okay, okay, Jesus fuck, calm down.”
“Too far, brother.”
“Too far or too deep? Because I know that my girl likes it when she can feel it right up against her—”
“You!” Levi set my body aside just before launching himself at Lucas, who knew exactly what was coming and had already made a move of his own, hopping further down the sectional before flying over the back and taking off toward the bedroom with his brother hot on his heels.
Wrapping a blanket around me, I giggled as I sank further into the cushions, a smile on my face that pulled so hard my cheeks started to hurt. I was beginning to forget why I felt so gloomy to begin with.
This was everything I’d ever wanted for my future.
Life. Love.
Lucas and Levi.