Chapter 43
Tessa
Truly, Madly, Deeply by Sidney
THIRTEEN
“Teddy!” I shrieked, launching myself into Theodore’s arms after sprinting from the backyard through the foyer of my parents’ mansion after realizing he’d arrived. “You showed!”
“Of course I did. I’d never miss an opportunity to see your beautiful smile, Tess. Happy Birthday.”
Theodore held on to me with a warm embrace, giving me a firm squeeze before releasing his grip and lowering me to the ground.
“Is my Dad here, too? Mom?” I tried to peer around his large frame, seeing if either were with him, or maybe on their way inside.
When I glanced back up at him, he shook his head, pressing his lips together because he already knew the answer and how I’d react. Always the same…
They weren’t coming. Too busy for their only child; the one they never wanted in the first place.
“I’m so sorry, Tess…” Theodore knelt to my level and placed a gentle hand on my shoulder as my eyes watered, blurring my vision.
“No. No, it’s-it’s fine… I’ll be fine, Teddy.” My voice cracked as I wiped away the tears before they ever had a chance to fall. I would be fine without them. “You’re here. And that’s all that matters.” I forced a weak smile, one that I had become accustomed to making over the last few years.
Reaching into his back pocket, Theodore revealed a small red box wrapped in a thin white ribbon.
I knew exactly where it’d come from.“For-For me?” I gasped, holding my hand out as he placed it in my palm, and I dragged my fingers along the golden accents embossed into the lid.
Cartier. “Teddy…” Words escaped me as I gently pulled the tail of the bow, and the ribbon fell away from the sides.
Lifting the lid with care, my eyes lit up with a light brighter than the sun as I pulled out a delicate gold bangle with ten nude diamonds inlaid, evenly spaced, around the perimeter of the band.
Upon closer inspection, I noticed that something had been etched along the inside, and I rotated the bracelet in the light, attempting to read the inscription.
I’ll always be here for you.
“And that’s a promise.” Theodore added as I read the words aloud, and he took it from me to place on my wrist.
Something for me to cherish for a lifetime. My most precious and sentimental possession…
SEVENTEEN
I had been curled up on the sofa for hours, staring out into the sunset as tears streaked down and soaked my face. Dry trails left behind from previous ones I had shed earlier.
I could feel him as he entered the room, a calming, fatherly presence. Something I needed more than ever.
“Why?…” I croaked, finally having a moment to catch my breath after crying alone for hours. “Why can’t anyone love me? Why am I so easily expendable, just another rung on someone’s ladder to the top?”
“He didn’t deserve you…”
“Are you sure about that? It wasn’t the other way around?” There was a slight edge in my tone, anger laced my words of pain and heartbreak. “Do you know what he said to me, how he ended things between us?”
I was only seventeen, reeling after losing my first crush, first… love, if that’s even what it was. Theodore remained silent, choosing to listen rather than just tell me what I wanted to hear. He was always good at that… listening.
“Well, I’ll tell you. He said I would never be good enough to be someone’s wife.
That I’ll always be the girl everyone uses for their own advantage, and once they’ve gotten what they needed out of me and the awards they so desperately desired, I’ll be nothing more than garbage carelessly tossed to the curb, a used and washed-up rag. ”
“Tess—”
“He said my father left me for the same fucking reason,” I screamed, sitting up to face him over the back of the couch.
My entire face was puffy and swollen, looking as though a nest of hornets had stung every part of it.
“That no one could actually love someone like me… outspoken, independent. He said that the moment I fail, the second I fall out of this prim and proper character you’ve all made me out to be, it’s over.
No one will be waiting to catch me when I fall off my pedestal.
I’ll crash to the ground like an old abandoned building, nothing but a memory and waste of space ready for someone new to replace me. ”
My breaths were heavy as I winded myself through my strained cries, emotions burning a hole straight through my heart and soul.
In my current emotional state, I wasn’t even aware that Theodore had moved until the couch sank beside me and I felt an arm wrap tight around my chest in an effort to calm my body.
“Shh, Tess…” Holding me close, Theodore rocked me from side to side as my breathing slowed and I gave in to his comfort.
“Don’t listen to what some punk ass seventeen-year-old kid thinks of you.
You’re beautiful, bold, and brilliant, Tessa.
He’s just jealous of your success and will get what’s coming to him.
Little shits like that don’t last longer than a few years before they fuck up bad enough to be ripped to shreds by the tabloids. You’re doing everything right.”
I wiped the last of my tears and snot from my face, feeling far from any of the words he had just used to describe me. I was a mess, a wreck.
I didn’t ask for this life, and I wished whoever gave it to me would take it back…
“Why don’t we go for a walk on the beach… Get you some fresh air and a clear headspace. I know you love sunsets in the fall…”
An escape. My only escape…
TWENTY-ONE
“Are you ready, kid?”
“I’m not a kid anymore, Teddy. Hit me for fuck sake.” Bouncing from left to right, I held my fists up to frame my face, anticipating his strike.
Theodore and I had spent most of the day in my private gym. He taught me some new punches after finally cementing the foundation for my footwork. After hours of practicing, I wasn’t even remotely ready to quit for the day.
“Hey, watch that mouth of yours.” His scolding laugh had me brandishing a wide smile that was hard to resist hiding from him. “And you’ll always be a kid to me.” I know… and I wouldn’t have it any other way…
“Sure, old man. Are we doing this or what?” I teased, rolling my shoulders and neck before getting back into position.
“Yeah, yeah. Fix your stance. It’s too wide…” Theodore patted the side of my thigh with his punching mitt, and I followed his instruction. “That’s it. Right in front of the left, shoulder width apart. You got it?”
“I got it, Teddy. Let’s go!” I insisted, feeling a rush of adrenaline wash over me as I readied myself for my first hit.
“Then swing. Show me that right hook that we’ve been sharpening.” I swung hard, my fist flying true and colliding right in the center of the mitt. “Perfect, now the uppercut.” Chasing the high from landing my hit, I threw all of my weight into the second. “That’s my girl! You’re a natural.”
“I’m so ready to kick someone’s ass.” I laughed as I danced in a circle, rolling my fists in the air and cheering myself on.
“Whoa, slow down there, Rocky. Baby steps. There’s a lot more to self-defense than just throwing a few punches.”
“I know, I know… But the rush from doing it is-is—”
“Exhilarating?”
“Yeah…” I stopped celebrating, gloves falling to the wayside as I fell back into my head, staring down at his shoes. Remembering why he was teaching me in the first place. “Distracting…”
Noticing my waver in thought, Theodore pounded the punching mitts together a few times to garner my attention and snap me out of my haze.
“Come on, Tess. Let’s get a few more swings in before dinner. I’ll take you to your favorite place.”
“You made reservations?!” I immediately beamed, my mouth already salivating at the thought of food, and not just any… the best chili mussels in the entire fucking world.
Cicerello’s garnered popularity so fast that they had to set a limit on what they could produce every night, leading them to require reservations or advance ordering.
This wasn’t your average seafood dish that they were making, either.
Fresh-caught mussels with homemade chili napoletana sauce, topped with thinly sliced Fresno chilis, and flash-fried basil, hand-picked from the owner’s garden.
If heaven had a signature dish, this would be it. One bite and you could fly amongst the angels. I swear they sang in my ears with every bite.
“We both know that you never need a reservation, but yes. I did and already confirmed your order.”
“What would I do without you, Teddy?” Throwing myself into his arms, I attached myself to Theodore, not even remotely bothered by the mass amount of sweat now shared between us.
“Starve most likely.” He chuckled, wrapping his arms around me and holding tight, always waiting for me to let go first.
Because Theodore would never let go first.
TWENTY-SIX
I stared at the back of his head, seething with rage after hurling a large vase across the foyer of my Malibu beach house.
“You’re not leaving, you’re not leaving me! You can’t!”
“I have a fam—”
“You can’t, Teddy.” Falling to my knees, I wept with all the tears he’d helped me to hold back over the years. All the heartache, crumbling my resolve into fucking nothing. Everything I’d once bottled up was now seeping through the cracks in my glass exterior.
“Tess…” His sigh wasn't a change in mind or heart. He was still determined to step out that door and never come back. “My replacement will be—”
“What am I going to do?” I spoke to the floor as I hung my head, staring at my open palms that had several half moons dug into them, all purple and red, one nail nearly broke through the skin.
“You’ll do what you’ve always done. Be the bright, beaming actress we all know and love, Tess. I’ll still be here, but in the background, cheering you on from afar instead of by your—”
“Fuck you!” I sharply cut him off, my eyes burning alongside my words.
“Quit trying to make this sound so casual, so fucking simple. You are leaving me, abandoning me.” My voice splintered as I felt myself shattering into the white marble entryway, just like the crystal vase.
“After all these years...” Pause, backpeddle.
“No, I’m-I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that. I can’t do this without you, Teddy.
I need you here. What if—What if I beg?”
I had turned from destructive to desperate in the blink of an eye.
“Tess…”
I needed him to stay.
“What if I beg, Teddy. I’ll do anything, just—please don’t leave me behind like he did. Don’t run away from me like my father. I’m so-so alone…”
“You’re never alone. You’ve got your fans and your entourage at your beck and call.”
“But they aren’t you!” I screamed, my voice growing hoarse from my crying and labored breaths. All I could do was whisper, “They aren’t you…”
“Alex will take good care of you. Just breathe, Tess. It’ll all be fine. By tomorrow, you’ll forget all about me.” Fine… that word. Fine…
“How can you say that?”
“Because hopefully you’ll be angry enough after I leave that you’ll force my existence from your memory and see me as nothing more than a bad dream.
” My life was the bad fucking dream… Theodore was my wake-up call that kept me from the nightmare that chased me day after goddamn day.
“I’ll miss you. I truly will. But my wife needs her husband back, and I can’t keep chasing you around this city at all hours of the day and night. ”
“Just… Just fucking go…” My throat was raw as I continued to stare at the floor.
Giving up, giving in.
I didn’t lift my gaze once to see if he had turned to look back at me and the mess I’d become. The squeak of his sneakers leaving the marble and the door latch clicking into place were the final sounds I heard as Theodore exited my home and my life for good.
The last thing I remembered after he’d left was screaming violently into the void of nothingness as the bandages Theodore once wrapped me in began to unravel around my heart and soul, partially healed wounds breaking open all over again.
I found myself hemorrhaging on the floor of my foyer, every last drop of my sanity spilled across the floor.