Chapter Seventeen
Gwen
The instant he reacted to my explanation, my stomach sank to my feet and I wanted to cry.
How could I have been so insensitive? Doing this with a blood slave is fine.
Doing it with a former slave who’s finding his way had been.
.. damn. I’d gotten carried away when I took control of his wolf enough to play with his dick size.
“I fucked up,” I told him. “I owe you the biggest of apologies.”
He shook his head. “You owe me nothing. I’m paid well.
I knew the job when I took it. I’m yours when it comes to sex and feeding.
You did nothing wrong. I simply forgot my place for a while.
” And then I heard his thoughts. Not so much words, but ideas.
The gist of it was that uppity slaves were severely punished under his former master.
He wasn’t a slave anymore, but being a blood servant was just another word for blood slave.
He’d forgotten his place and he wouldn’t forget again.
He wasn’t entirely wrong. We can manipulate thoughts and feelings during the fuck-and-feed process enough that, even though our blood servant or companion has free will outside of a feeding, that isn’t always the case during a feeding.
He’d put up an emotional wall, and I couldn’t let him keep it there.
The distance made me feel isolated. Alone.
It broke my heart. I touched his cheek. “I got carried away. The power of controlling the size of your dick went to my head. I wanted you to pulverize me, so I made it happen. I was wrong. I’m sorry. ”
I could’ve made him forget it. Abbott didn’t want us screwing with his memories, and he might not be pleased if I did, but he’d understand. He’d see how bad I felt.
But how much to get rid of? If I just erased his memory of my explanation, he’d be back to beating himself up for hurting me and being so rough. If I erased the memory of us having sex, I’d need to recreate a replacement either in his head or for real.
Experience told me I was better off not screwing with this. If it came out later — and Abbott might be upset with me enough to demand I tell Ajax — then trust would be broken even more. If I wanted his trust I needed to be honest.
“Abbott pays you. Not us.”
He stared at me, unblinking. Unemotional.
He didn’t understand my point. I tried again.
“We want you to be part of our family. Part of us. You’re here because Abbott wants you to watch over the house, and over us.
A personal bodyguard and security expert, totally focused on us and our safety.
You aren’t being paid to feed us. If you want to stop that part, you can.
You’re choosing to, and maybe some of that is because you know Abbott wants you to, but you’ll still have a job here if you don’t want to join us in bed.
We can find other sources to feed us. We enjoy you. We want you.”
He continued to stare at me, so I tried again. “You can get another job, somewhere else, and live here with us as our third. Part of our family. I want you, Ajax. Yes, I crave your blood, but that’s because of our connection.”
I sat in a chair, still naked, and looked up at him. My instincts were to get dressed, or at least put a robe on, but I stayed naked and vulnerable. “I care for you. It’s growing into love, Ajax. I fucked up and I’m sorry. Please try to forgive me?”
“Fucking with my head is part of it. There’s nothing to forgive.”
I shook my head. “Our venom is physical. We can make you painfully hard, we can make you orgasm, we can keep you from finding release. We can make our bite hurt, we can put in painful venom or blissful venom. Those are all physical things, like a drug you’d take.
I went into your head and cut you off from the part of you that keeps you from being a psychopath.
I knew what I was doing, but you didn’t.
I won’t apologize for the effects of my venom, but I owe you the biggest of apologies for fucking with who you are while you fucked me. ”
He just stared at me. I still wasn’t getting through to him. I picked up my phone and called Abbott. When he answered, I told him, “I fucked up, Master. I broke trust with Ajax. I need him to understand how sorry I am. I should probably be punished for my transgression, with him watching.”
“No!” He walked to me and acted as if he were going to take the phone away from me, but he put his hands behind his back, stopping himself. I sensed so much conflict. The submissive and the Alpha. He was going to have to figure it out, but I couldn’t help him with that right then.
“Please. No. I don’t want to watch you be punished!”
“Tell me.” Abbott’s voice was all business, so I relayed what’d happened in as few words as possible.
“Gavin will arrive at ten o’clock sharp. He’ll let you know my ruling when he arrives, and he’ll deliver the chastisement.”
“Thank you, Master Abbott.”
He disconnected, and I met Ajax’s angry glare. “I don’t know any other way to show you how sorry I am.” I stood and finally put a robe on. “Put some clothes on. I can sense your thirst. You want a milkshake, and I’d love to watch you make it and enjoy it.”
He went to his room, stepped into sweatpants, and made his way to the underground kitchen.
It isn’t as big as the upstairs one, but we kept it stocked with the basics.
And with our werewolf, ice cream and milk were a basic.
“You’re even more angry with me now than you were before,” I noted as I followed him.
“I don’t want to see you punished.”
“Want? No. Need? Absolutely.”
He shook his head, but I couldn’t let this go. “I hurt you. You need to see me hurt. Abbott will know what to do.”
I watched as he scooped the ice cream into the glass, then angrily broke some eggs into it, and finally poured a few splashes of milk.
He used a little blender on a stick to mix it all up, and then sat with a fat straw in it and drank.
It’d been some kind of chocolate ice cream with a stripe of cherry something running through it.
So, it ended up being a cherry-chocolate milkshake.
Humans can’t use raw eggs in their shakes anymore, but shapeshifters don’t have to worry about salmonella.
He pulled his phone from his pocket. I hadn’t seen him put it in, but I wasn’t surprised. He keeps track of the security team with his phone. I knew he was going to call Spence before he did, but I didn’t try to stop him.
“Tell Abbott I don’t need to see Gwen punished. It’s okay. Gavin doesn’t need to come.”
“Trust Abbott to know what to do. It’s going to be okay. I don’t know the details, but I know Abbott won’t fuck this up. I’ll tell him you called, and he’ll take it into consideration. He always does.”
“Thank you.”
“That doesn’t mean he’ll opt not to send Gavin. It just means I’m relaying the message.”
“I understand. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. It’s going to be okay.”
I already knew what Gavin was going to do to me.
We call it the sciogliere now, but it’d been called the dizolva back when I’d first been turned into a vampire.
The Master could kill us with it, or merely punish.
How badly it hurt depended upon how far it was taken.
Likewise, how long it took to recover also depended upon how far it was taken.
He wouldn’t kill me, but I could easily see him putting me out of commission for a day or two.
Even knowing Kieran was overseas and I was managing his funds solo, Abbot would order it.
I spent a few hours making sure everything was set so I could be away from it the rest of that night and all of the next.
When ten o’clock arrived, the portfolios were ready for me to be away, and I was in a glamorous hunter-green jeweled lounging gown.
Ajax and I met Gavin upstairs. I knew it was going to be bad when I saw his face.
He didn’t look sad. He looked as if he was anticipating this, and that’s never a good thing with Gavin.
“You’re ready?” he asked.
“I am. Everything should be fine without me being at the wheel tonight and tomorrow night. If it will be longer, you’ll need to notify Kieran.”
“Noted. Stand or kneel and prepare to accept the sciogliere.”
It’s impossible to explain the agony of this punishment.
You aren’t actually being dissolved or melted, but it’s close.
It’s done with vibrations, altering frequencies until you’re a mess.
Literally. When you watch it done, it’s as if a wax sculpture has been left in the sun.
The features soften and blur. You know it hurts because of the sounds and facial expressions.
Unless the chastiser keeps you from screaming, it’s impossible to remain silent, at first. Before long, however, the vampire is rendered speechless and motionless, and you can only feel the pain. You can’t express it. It becomes your own private hell. Conscious, but hurting.
I kneeled before Gavin and awaited my chastisement. He didn’t make me wait long.
* * * *
Ajax
I didn’t dare refuse to watch. Gavin scared me far worse than Abbott. I didn’t want to see it, though.
Her screams made me want to cry, want to rescue her, but there was nothing I could do to stop it. I felt so damned helpless.
When Gavin finally stopped, Gwen was a loose pile on the floor.
“Take her to bed. Abbott’s arranged for extra security while you care for her. Your focus is Gwen until she’s back to one hundred percent. She’ll feed ravenously when she returns. It’s possible she’ll need to change you to keep you alive.”
I’m pretty sure he went into my head to make sure I knew what to do — how to take care of her. I hadn’t done it, but I’d been with my former master when he gave instructions, and when he showed up to further punish someone when they came back from the sciogliere.
Gavin nodded and left. I gathered Gwen in my arms, careful not to hurt her worse than I had to, and carried her to her bed.
Abbott and Gavin were giving me total trust over Gwen’s life. It was true that I’d die a horrible death if I purposefully killed her, or even if I did so due to neglect. But still, her life was literally in my hands.
I arranged her in bed and used my phone to show the outside cams on the large television screen in their bedroom.
Their bedroom. Would it ever be mine? Did I want it to be? I didn’t know.
Gwen was out that night and the next night.
Or rather, she was conscious during the hours of darkness, but without control over her physical body.
The second night, she could open her eyes on occasion.
The following evening, she rose about an hour later than usual, and she was ravenous.
I offered my arm and she tore into it. It wasn’t the first time I’d fed a vampire out of their mind, and I breathed through the pain and sensations.
She came back to herself before she took so much she had to change me. I was weak, but I’d be okay. She held me and asked what day it was. When I told her, she groaned.
“Damn. Okay. I need to get some work done. Just check in on things and make some adjustments, probably. It depends upon what’s happened while I’ve been out.
I’ll order food for you, and we’ll stay in bed.
I can do what’s necessary on my laptop. One of the other guards can bring the food delivery down so you don’t have to leave me. ”
She worked about two hours. I ate while she worked, and then she insisted we get into the jetted tub together.
I felt better after about five pounds of exceptionally well-cooked beef and a few baked potatoes, but the hot tub was still nice.
I’d worked out before she rose, which was good.
I wasn’t strong enough to handle weights just then.
I’d taken care of her for days, and now she took care of me. She fed me, she loved me, she held me.
And we had gentle sex. The kind where you connect with each other. Somehow, Abbott’s punishment brought us closer. Gwen’s betrayal no longer mattered. I was hers. She’d hurt me, but she’d be careful to avoid that kind of thing in the future. She wouldn’t want to hurt me like that again.