Chapter Eleven #3
And instead of being annoyed by the question, Jenna was actually glad she’d asked, and tight belts of unhealed pain that had been buckled around her for years suddenly opened and slid off her as she took a deep breath—the first in a long time when it came to thinking about her family.
She wanted Sawyer to know things about her, and she didn’t want to take the time to analyze why.
She served up pasta on two plates, added the sauce, and handed them to Sawyer.
Wine bottle in one hand, grated parmesan in the other, she followed her out to the dining room.
Sawyer went back in to grab their glasses, and soon, they were seated, Jenna at the head of the table, Sawyer sitting to her right.
“As I told your mom, my parents are older. I was an oops baby. My mom was in her mid-forties when she had me. My brothers were already thirteen and fifteen.”
“Oh, wow.”
“Yeah, by the time I was five, they were both off to college, so I was kind of an only child. Which was fine. I got lots of attention then. But”—she inhaled slowly and eased it out—“my parents are very conservative.”
“Uh-oh,” Sawyer said, spinning spaghetti on her fork.
“Yeah.” She gave a soft, bitter laugh. “Coming out didn’t go so well.”
“How old were you?”
“Seventeen?”
“Oh. Early. I didn’t come out until I was in college.”
“Yeah, I knew pretty early on. Did my own research, because I couldn’t exactly talk to my mom about it.” She forked some pasta into her mouth and chewed. “They love me. I know they do. They just…don’t understand me. And they don’t really try to. You know?”
Sawyer nodded.
“And don’t get me started on how they voted.” She grimaced.
“I’m so sorry,” Sawyer said, shaking her head.
“You’re so lucky to have the family support you do. I hope you know that.”
“I do. Truly.” Sawyer’s smile was tender, and Jenna felt a weird mix of envy for the family Sawyer had and relief that she didn’t have to deal with the lack of acceptance Jenna herself had faced. “So,” Sawyer went on, “when was your last long-term relationship?”
“I was with a girl I met through friends for about two years.” She tapped a finger against her chin as she did the math. “Three years ago?”
“What happened?”
Jenna lifted a shoulder. “She got transferred to San Diego. She wanted me to go with her, and that’s when I realized that I loved my shop more than I cared about her. We broke up. She left.” She sighed. “I felt terrible about that for months.”
“Sounds like you made the right choice for everybody, though.”
A nod. “I did. I cared about her, but I wasn’t really in love with her. It just felt awful at the time.”
There was a beat of quiet where they simply smiled softly at each other.
Jenna was shocked at how comfortable it was just to be in Sawyer’s presence.
Comfortable and completely unexpected. They’d finished eating, and by unspoken agreement, they stood.
Sawyer cleaned up the dishes, rinsing them and loading the dishwasher while Jenna fed her animals.
When it came time to let Arnold out, she slipped the red Crocs by the back door on and went out first, making sure the gate was latched tightly and Arnold couldn’t escape again.
She did not need two heart attacks in one day, thank you very much.
She waited for him, but he didn’t stay out very long, and she wondered if he was also trying to avoid another scare. She let him in and shut the door.
When she came back in, she found her wine glass refilled and sitting on the coffee table. Sawyer was standing near her bookshelf, her own wine glass dangling delicately from her fingers as she scanned the titles.
“I don’t think anything there’s gonna be your cup of tea,” she teased.
“I might want to read another Lily Chambers. You don’t know.”
Jenna laughed softly and flopped down onto the couch. “Help yourself. I have them all.” She picked up the little remote and clicked on the fireplace. “It’s chilly out.”
This was when the nerves kicked in. She knew that but still felt it.
Butterflies banging around in her stomach.
Fluttering lower in her body, beneath her belly button.
It was one thing when there was dinner to be made and a table to be set and a meal to eat.
It was quite another when it was just her and Sawyer and a couch and a fire and nothing to keep her busy.
Nothing to keep her from running her eyes over Sawyer’s body, noting the pleasing curves and dips and imagining how they’d feel under her hands.
Nothing to distract her from staring at Sawyer’s mouth, her full bottom lip.
Nothing from feeling the warmth of Sawyer’s proximity to her as she sat on the couch not very far away from her.
“What about you?” Sawyer asked. “What are you currently reading? ’Cause I know you’re reading something.” Her blue eyes smiled at Jenna over the rim of her glass as she sipped her wine.
“I’m always reading something. Always. I try to keep up as best I can so I can answer questions for customers, you know?” Sawyer nodded. “I’m currently deep into a story about a witch and a vampire that are sworn enemies.”
“Have they had sex yet?” Sawyer asked with a laugh.
“They’re very close,” Jenna said, laughing with her. “You know, I didn’t expect to like romantasy. Fantasy’s not really my bag. But I’ve really enjoyed most of what I’ve read.”
“That must be fun. Finding out you like something you didn’t think you would.”
“It has been, actually.”
And then there was quiet. Well, almost quiet.
The fire crackled. Arnold snored softly from his bed.
There was an occasional light thump against the couch—Wallace’s tail swishing as he lay on the back of it, watching out the window.
Jenna sat with one leg folded up underneath her, in the corner but facing Sawyer.
They looked at each other, and in that moment, Jenna understood what all the books meant, all the ones that said something like “an electric charge ran between them,” because it absolutely did.
In fact, she was kind of surprised to not see a line of something akin to lightning running from her body to Sawyer’s, connecting them, threatening to electrocute them both.
Sawyer felt it, too. She could tell just by the look on her face.
It was heavy-lidded. Expectant. Resigned.
And as Jenna watched, she set her wine glass back on the coffee table, then reached for Jenna’s.
Hers joined Sawyer’s, and then Sawyer scooted closer until their knees touched.
A warm hand rested on her leg, and Jenna could feel the heat of it through her pants.
She swallowed, Sawyer’s face a mere six inches from hers.
“Hi,” Sawyer breathed out.
“Hi,” Jenna whispered back.
“Is this okay?”
Jenna nodded.
“Good.” And she leaned in. Slowly. Giving Jenna time to pull away if she wanted to.
She absolutely did not want to.
Sawyer’s mouth was soft and wet and warm and delicious.
She tasted like wine and the peach lip balm she must’ve applied when Jenna wasn’t looking, and Jenna sank in.
Sawyer’s hand stayed on her knee, the other one cradling her face, fingers in her hair.
She grasped the sides of Sawyer’s shirt, using them to hold on so she didn’t get swept away because holy shit, Sawyer could kiss.
Jenna had kissed her share of women. She’d been out since her teens and she was now in her thirties.
She’d sampled the lips of enough women to know a good kisser when she came across one.
Sawyer Hall? A+ kisser. A++, in fact. Jenna felt her body turning soft, melting under Sawyer’s mouth.
Sawyer paused, removed her glasses to set them on the table, and was back in a second, kissing her some more.
And when Sawyer’s tongue subtly sought entrance—the gentleness of that was a turn-on all by itself—Jenna didn’t hesitate.
She let her in, and the kissing turned deep and intense and her entire body felt it.
The waves that rolled through her sent a pleasant shiver up her spine, and the throbbing that began between her legs only increased in intensity as they continued to kiss.
Kiss?
Who was she kidding? This wasn’t kissing.
This was full-on making out, and it was fucking incredible.
She couldn’t remember the last time she’d been this turned on this quickly, but Sawyer had something.
A key or a code or whatever it was that unlocked intense pleasure in Jenna.
Her arms were around Sawyer’s neck now, one hand in her thick, dark hair, holding the back of her head, keeping her mouth fused to Sawyer’s.
The only sounds in the room were the artificial crackling sound of the fire and the soft noises of their kisses that included occasional hums and whimpers—Jenna wasn’t sure from which of them. Maybe both? Probably her.
She could take Sawyer upstairs. It would be easy.
Stand up, take her hand, lead the way. It would be even easier to simply slide down beneath her right there on the couch.
Pull her shirt off over her head so she could see what she was certain would be warm, soft skin that glowed in the dim light.
Slide the pants down over the sexy curve of her hips so she could glide her own hand between Sawyer’s thighs, feel the warm wet of her…
And the warmth was gone.
She opened her eyes to see Sawyer had pulled back, her lips kiss-swollen and glistening, her chest rising and falling rapidly, her eyes heavy-lidded. She swallowed hard enough for Jenna to hear it.
“What’s wrong?” Jenna asked softly.
Sawyer shook her head. “Nothing. Nothing at all. I just…I think we should slow down.”
“Oh. Oh, okay.” Trying to hide her disappointment was hard, but maybe Sawyer was right. She struggled to figure out why.
Sawyer’s hand was on her knee again, and she spoke.
“Listen. I like you.” She picked up her glasses and slid them onto her face.
“Like, a lot.” She cleared her throat, took a sip of her wine, and cleared it again before returning her gaze to Jenna’s.
“And I have the bad habit of diving in, headfirst, before I should.”
Jenna nodded. Reluctantly, but she nodded. “I get it.”
Sawyer grabbed her hand and squeezed. “Please don’t misunderstand. I made the first move. I know that. And I’m not upset that I did.” Her grin was sheepish as she added, “I’ve kinda wanted to do that since apple picking.”
“Yeah?” That lifted some of the weight off Jenna.
“Hundred percent.” She sighed. “I like you, Jenna.” She waved a finger between them. “And I don’t know what this is, but if it’s something important, I don’t want to rush it.”
That was fair. It was. And as her body settled, as the rushing of her blood slowed back down to almost normal, she accepted it. If it’s something important… She let those words sink in a bit, using them to keep her warm.
They got up from the couch, straightening shirts and hair and grinning at each other like a couple of young kids who just did something they weren’t supposed to. At the front door, Jenna stopped with her hand on the knob.
“Thanks again for getting Arnie home safely to me.”
Sawyer’s smile was tender. “Any time. I’m so glad I saw him.”
Jenna reached up and grasped Sawyer’s chin, pushed up onto her toes, and kissed her softly. Mouths lingered, and Jenna knew it wouldn’t take much to get things going again, to wind them up. And she thought about it, seriously considered it.
“You don’t know how badly I want to take you up to my room right now,” she whispered, surprised when the words came out of her mouth.
“Oh, I think I do,” Sawyer whispered back. She kissed her one more time, then opened the door herself. “Which is why I need to go.” She moved her lips from Jenna’s mouth to her forehead, pressed a kiss to her skin, and stepped out onto the porch. “Good night, Jenna.”
“ ’Night, Sawyer. Be careful on your long commute.”
“That one never gets old,” Sawyer said, and then she took the six steps that connected her space and Jenna’s and pushed through her own front door. One more smile, a small wave, and she stepped inside.
The door clicked shut, and Jenna stood there for another moment, letting the crisp fall air cool her heated skin.
She had not expected this evening. Obviously, she hadn’t expected to lose Arnold for a time, but she hadn’t expected to end up in a make-out session on her couch with Sawyer Hall.
Far from it. She grabbed her phone and typed a message onto the group thread with Dakota and Veronica, ’cause she needed her girls right now.
Just had a serious make-out session on my couch. Need to analyze.
No more than thirty seconds passed before a string of wide-eyed emoji came from Dakota, followed by a gif of two people jumping up and down in celebration from Ronni.
Deets, Dakota typed.
Asap, came Ronni’s text right after.