Chapter 36 The Price of Peace #2
Bodies matter, but they are not the only thing that matters, Mercy continued.
My life is the sum of the choices I have made.
I am shaped by my skin, but not defined by it.
I am a human, I am a woman, I am Mercy Chan.
No matter how divorced my body is from my spirit, no matter what face I wear, this remains true.
A long moment of silence stretched while Mercy kneeled, waiting. Around them, the curious watchers seemed to have shut their curtains and gone in. If there was anyone to see a water ghost speaking to a woman in the street, they did not show themselves.
Erika took a ragged breath. “You don’t have to lecture me about souls and bodies feeling disconnected. I know all about that,” she said, gesturing to herself. “If anything, Chan, I could give you tips on coming to terms with it.”
Mercy laughed, or something approximating a laugh. It sounded like a child choking on seawater.
Erika reached across and squeezed her hand. “The Mercy Chan I knew was always smart, loyal, and a good friend. She was also bad at keeping in touch and perpetually short of money. That hasn’t changed, I guess. Even if you’re a ghost.”
Who are you calling short of money, Mercy huffed. My job made me wealthy, you sarcastic old bat! More than you ever made as a teacher.
It was Erika’s turn to burst out laughing, and a surge of joy ran through Mercy. It would be okay; her friend would not leave her, or reject her. The memory of Siu Yin fleeing tearfully seemed to ebb, and a tension she hadn’t been aware of eased from her shoulders.
The anger in her hadn’t been this soft since she first swam with her niece, all those years ago. Oddly, she felt that this might be a permanent change, as if the brittle sourness in her had sweetened.
“What will you do now?” Erika said, when her laughter subsided.
I don’t know. Mercy bowed her head. Everything that is happening is about me and her. It’s all my fault, all the bad shit in Kowloon and in Hong Kong—
“Oh, hell. Take a minute and sit down, will you?” Erika shifted from kneeling to a cross-legged position on the hard, puddle-laden concrete.
There’s no time—
“Sit, kid. Before I catch my death of chill out here.”
Mercy sighed, and joined her. They huddled shoulder-to-shoulder in the pounding storm, tarps and shutters and signs clattering in the ever-present wind, warm typhoon rain drenching both of them. Mercy’s old body—or rather, Siu Yin’s old body—slumped on the ground nearby, lifeless and cold.
“In all your years as a ghost talker, you always told me that the first step was for someone to just listen to a spirit. Most people are too busy being scared or hanging fu talismans to talk. That’s the difference between you and exorcists, and always has been.
” Erika fished out a packet of soggy cigarettes from one pocket, grimaced in disappointment, and chucked it away.
“I’m not trained, I don’t have your knack.
But I have been your friend a long time, and now that you’re dead—again—I think you need me more than ever. Talk to me, Mercy. What do you want?”
The answer came naturally.
To fix things. To put things right.
“What went wrong? I don’t mean the details. You’ve shown me those, and you’re getting lost in them. What’s the heart of the matter, Mercy?”
She had to think about that. Someone loved me. I was too damaged to love them back. When I tried, I hurt them beyond measure. Now they’re spilling that hurt everywhere into the world, and the only way I can think to stop them is to hurt them again. Which I don’t want to do.
“Why do you have to stop them?” Erika said, puzzled. “Since when were you in the business of stopping ghosts, Chan? I thought your thing was giving them the justice they craved.”
That’s the thing, I can’t give her justice, Mercy said, trying not to groan. She wants me dead, but I’ve already died, twice. Yet she’s still raging, her hatred undimmed.
“Then maybe your assumption is wrong.” Erika took off her rain-spattered glasses and gave them a shake. “If your second death didn’t bring her peace, could it be that she doesn’t want you dead?”
Mercy stared at her with a hollowed, ghostly gaze. How are you so smart?
“Dunno, but that’s why I’m a teacher, and you’re a triad goon.
” The other woman gave a gap-toothed grin.
“I think you’re looking for solutions in the wrong places.
Try thinking about it objectively, like a ghost talker.
Think how you’d approach this case if it were someone else.
Draw on all the experience you have, and don’t be afraid to question the past. The answer to what Miss Thousand-Faced Girl wants, lies in you. ”
In me, Mercy echoed. Already, an unsettling idea was forming in her mind, one she was half afraid to consider. I see. Thank you, that is helpful.
“No problem.” Erika sighed. “You mentioned all the ‘bad shit’ that might happen soon. What does ‘bad’ mean?”
It means every ghost in the Murray Building being freed on the night of Hungry Ghost Festival to wreak havoc on the city. Then the damage being blamed on Kowloon. This district being razed. That kind of bad.
“It’s always something with you, isn’t it?”
Sorry, Mercy said, cringing. I do have an idea for how to fix things, I think, but I need your help. I know I have asked a lot of you today—
“No shit, Chan!”
—but I promise, this is nearly over. Will you help me, big sister? One final time?
“Do I look like I would dare refuse a ghost?” Erika grumbled. “What do you need?”
If you can, go back to Red Bird’s establishment, and fetch some of the documents from her room. They prove Kit Ling’s corruption. That will at least halt the demolition process, and give the district time to build a new case.
“Isn’t it guarded?!”
It won’t be now. The triad have no need of it. They’re too busy trying to find their leader, who is dead.
“You’d better be sure about that,” Erika said, doubtfully.
Bao padded over, yowling inquisitively.
I haven’t forgotten you, don’t worry. Mercy kissed her ghost cat on the nose. I have one more request for you, too, most loyal of creatures. If you ever loved me, go with Erika, and keep her safe. Do this for me, and I will never ask anything of you, ever again.
He hissed, as if she had trod on his tail.
Please, Bao, she said. Erika needs someone to keep her safe. And you’ll be destroyed if Siu Yin sees you. I can’t bear that. This isn’t your justice to face, either of you.
His teeth bared in a snarl.
She stroked his ear, understanding the question intuitively. If I don’t see you again, then know that I always loved you most of all, above any other living thing. I hope you are able to find peace one day, and I hope that it is not me who is keeping you from rest.
The great furry head bobbed in reluctant acquiescence. Loyal to the last, he turned and padded closer to Erika, nudging the older woman.
“I’m going, I’m going!” Erika was shivering badly from the rain, and hunched down into her sodden clothing. “Will I see you again, little sister?”
I don’t know. Mercy scooped up the forlorn body, its limbs slack in her grasp. If you don’t hear from me, come look on the island of Shek Ham Chau. I might be there. Or you might get some answers, at least.
“The island of where?!”
Shek Ham Chau. It’s off the Sai Kung coast. Mercy added, Good luck, big sister. Stay safe.
“You too, Chan.” Erika gave a slight bow, then turned and began hobbling away through the rattling winds and driving rain. Bao padded along at her side, casting uncertain glances over one ghostly shoulder.
Mercy did not watch them walk away, because it would only have distracted her. Instead, she looked toward the main gates, which were just visible at the far end of the courtyard. Beyond their perimeter lay the rest of the city. Hong Kong was a big place, but I had already told her where to go.
She murmured, I’m coming, Siu Yin, and did not know if it was a promise or a threat.
The water ghost of Shek Ham Chau ran toward the barricaded gates of Kowloon Walled city, Siu Yin’s body in her arms.