Chapter 7 #2
“I’m here to speak with the Inka,” I continue with the taste of iron in my mouth.
“And get confirmation for what we all know.” I bite down deeper into my cheek and focus on the metallic taste and lightning frenzy of frayed nerves.
I don’t realize the world is blurry until I attempt to focus my eyes.
The Inka wears the same expression. Ice and fire.
“That fire and ice. Your worry is melting out of you,” I slur.
My mother yanks my head further back, and I wheeze for air.
In my head, I hear a crack. It’s a phantom sound.
I know this. I’ve heard it many times after a Serpent mimic heals one of my broken bones.
It’s the body processing all the memories of the accelerated healing process.
I’ve had at least two bones healed at once, and the combined effect of the phantom noise popped my ears.
Now, there is thunder jostling my brain.
Through my distorted gaze, I see the Inka open her mouth, but all I hear is my ears ringing.
My mother nods her head and lifts me against my will, every muscle in my legs protesting.
It’s my abdomen that really fights, however, feeling so tight and bruised that she has to push to straighten my back out of a hunch.
“You should take care not to become more trouble than you’re worth,” the Inka says.
My mother’s arms must be enhanced with Feline mimicry to hold me up so effortlessly. How much samay is she wasting? How many days of her life are worth it for her to prove herself to them?
“Still,” the Inka continues. I make eye contact with her and can’t believe that the worry that was so obvious minutes ago has now been replaced by a certain anger. “Your courage is commendable.”
She spits out the compliment like it’s poison burning her tongue.
“I am not here to impress you,” I say, in part because I need to defend myself from the insult her words really hold and in part because I’m pissed.
Whatever is happening here is not just. It’s inhumane.
When they tell me what they need to, they’ll leave me to writhe on the floor with the sting of the consequences.
“Ah, but you already have, Sinchinrei,” Panaka Harawi says. “At least, you have impressed our Guardians.” He continues with a smile, and I refuse to believe what people say about him, about his raucous laugh and endless generosity. “You’ve certainly left an impression on fate.”
Before I can tell him to spit out the point instead of more acid, my mother squeezes my wrists, both as a threat and, if I’m not delirious enough to make it up, a comfort.
“I apologize, my Inka, but she will not be conscious for much longer. She’s dead weight,” my mother says.
The Inka nods as my heart speeds up. The condensed days of pain that my brain is holding back are only minutes, if not seconds, away.
I want to beg, but I never will.
“Thank you, Apukispay. Your service is always appreciated.”
I feel my mother nod behind me at the Inka’s words.
“Let’s finish this. Sinchinrei, you may have the grace of fate as the Guardians’ Hero, but your attitude will not be tolerated.
You are to stay by Princess Yanami’s side as her champion, fulfilling what the diviners commanded.
You will head out together to raise Isla del Sol and pass its trials.
When you receive the Sun Staff, you will fight the calamity alongside her.
You will show deference to her. You will show humility, and you will… ”
I tune her out to focus on a single phrase. The princess’s champion is one of the top soldiers chosen by the Panaka for their personal protection. That would have been a dream come true yesterday.
But everything’s changed. Now, it’s an insult, a lower rank than what I earned, than what is fated for me.
I remember the day my mother’s army invitation came in the mail. I was 12, and my aunt Mire did not want me to see it. My aunt Milu wouldn’t let her hide it, however, and she read it with me while aunt Mire was out picking up trout from the market.
The first words out of my mouth surprised my tia, but they couldn’t make any more sense to me. They were dripping with excitement and pride and a confidence that I would win this, we would win this.
Can Suyai come?
Now, as the rest of the Inka’s words echo in my head, finally spoken and made real, Guardians’ Hero, Guardians’ Hero, Guardians’ Hero, a mimic of my heart beat, I can only think that same childish thought.
Even the pain that erupts and the scream shredding my lungs can’t erase it.
My mother lets go. I fall to the floor and cough as if it’ll expel the blades shredding my lungs.
The memory of my mountain home, of waving the invitation in Suyai’s face, of her grabbing Mare’s hand and promising they’d follow me to the Guardian’s gates if I needed.
In the Inka’s throne room, I’m screaming. “Su-Suyai of the Inka’s army,” I don’t know if my words are comprehensible. I don’t even know if anyone is still in the room with me. “Suyai of the Inka’s army needs to come with me.”
I don’t know when my throat goes from simply raw to on fire.
I don’t know anything other than lying on the cool stone floor until the pain is nothing more than waves gently tugging my skin back and forth.
That, and the budding sense of hope. The memory of the Inka and Panaka’s distaste is as clear as my mother’s abandonment, but their admission of my fate is as vivid as my mother’s letter.
An attendant I do not see clearly through my blurred vision helps me up and through the winding paths of the palace once I’m calm enough to walk. It’s early evening, and it’s cool. Everywhere my body burns, cold, gentle winds try their best to soothe.
You’re meant to serve something else.
There’s the wind whispering in my ear again.
“These are your new quarters. You will find clothes, food, and water waiting for you,” the attendant, a short, stocky woman in her sixties, says.
I think I nod.
She opens the door, and I hear her breath catch. She whispers a swear, a prayer to our Guardians, a defeated so young, but says no more before she leaves.
The world is spinning. I need to hold onto the wall to stand. I can barely focus in the darkness of the room. There’s a bed to my immediate right, and I manage to stumble into it. I close my eyes. I think I can sleep now that the worst of it is over.
“Oh, Rei,” my best friend’s voice says from beside me. “What in the Guardians’ names did you do?”
My eyes snap to full awareness, and I face her, Suyai, blurry and sitting at the edge of the bed.
My toothy smile isn’t what she wants to see, but I can’t hold it back.