Chapter 4 #2
One by one, each brother pulled out pillows. Each one carried the same message, the same love, the same connection to their mother and their family. By the time he got to Hayes, there were tears streaming down several faces, and I was fighting to keep my own emotions in check.
This was what family looked like. This was the kind of love that followed you wherever you went. This was what I'd been searching for my entire life without knowing it.
Finally, Bridger took the last box from his sister, Aunt Kik, and handed it to Jules.
She lifted the lid off a box one last time and pulled out the final pillow. But this one was different. Instead of the usual green pillow, it was white, but with the same words embroidered across it. “In this house, we bleed,” but it had a blank space where the word “green” should be.
“And for Jules,” Bridger said, his voice thick with emotion now, “who's about to go out into the world and decide for herself what she believes in, what she fights for, what matters to her, this blank space is yours to fill in however you choose.”
Jules was full-on crying now, holding out the pillow with trembling hands. “Dad,” she whispered.
“Your mother would be so proud of the woman you're becoming,” Bridger said, pulling his daughter into a hug. “All of you. She'd be so proud of who you've become and the people you've chosen to share your lives with.”
The mention of chosen people made my chest tighten with emotion. This family had welcomed me in and made me part of their traditions, had included me in their chaos and their love without asking for anything in return.
“I love you all,” Bridger said, and somehow his words seemed to include everyone at the table, even the honorary members like me.
As people started gathering their things, Liam appeared at our table with George right behind him.
“Before you two head off to California,” Liam said, “we've got some friends out there we want you to meet.”
“Sean and Ren,” George added. “They're good people. Been together a few years, know the LA scene inside and out.”
“We may have already told them to keep an eye out for a couple of honorary nephews who might need some guidance navigating the queer community out there,” Liam said with a grin.
“That's really thoughtful,” Artie said. “It'll be nice to have some connections.”
“They'll make sure you actually get out and meet people instead of turning into hermits,” George said, giving me a pointed look.
People started gathering their things quietly, but Gryff didn't move for a long time. His knees bounced and squeezed the edges of his pillow, rubbing his thumbs over the soft green fibers at the corners.
When almost everyone was gone, he blurted out. “Can I talk to you for a minute?”
“Sure.” I couldn't ever remember seeing him like this before.
Was he about to back out of moving to LA? I think I might have after all of that. To feel that rooted, that much like this was home, that unconditional love was a compelling reason to stay put.
I wouldn't blame him one bit.
“Let's go outside.” He nodded toward a small patio area beside the building, strung with lights and furnished with a couple of tables and chairs. It was quiet there, away from the noise of the family saying their goodbyes.
“That was beautiful,” I said, settling into one of the chairs. “The pillow ceremony. Your dad is amazing.”
“Yeah,” Gryff agreed, but he seemed distracted, looking anywhere but at me. “Artie, I need to ask you something.”
“Okay,” I said carefully. This wasn’t my sunshiny best friend asking. The nervousness in his voice was making my chest clench.
“I've been thinking about LA,” he started, then stopped and ran his hands through his hair. “Actually, I've been kind of freaking out about LA.”
“Freaking out how?” I wanted to be careful. Not seem too biased about what he wanted to say. I wasn't the one he'd give that all up for.
“I've never lived alone,” he said in a rush.
“I know that sounds ridiculous for a twenty-two-year-old man, but I've literally never been in a house by myself.
There's always been family around, always been noise and chaos and people.
And Chris bought me this amazing house, and it's perfect, but it's also huge and empty and I'm terrified I'm going to hate it.”
He took a deep breath like he'd been holding his breath and not holding this admission in.
Okay. Wow. At least he wasn't telling me he wasn't going to move at all. He was just anxious about it. That was fair.
I studied his face, seeing real fear there. Gryff was sunshine personified most of the time, but underneath all that confidence was a vulnerability he rarely let anyone see.
“I'm sure it won't be that bad,” I said gently. “You'll be busy with training and team stuff. And Flynn will be right across the street.”
“I know, I know.” He nodded at first, but it somehow turned into him shaking his head. “And I'm not asking you to solve my problems or anything. It's just... would you move in with me? Be my roommate?”
The question hit me like a tackle, not because it was unexpected but because of how much I immediately wanted to say yes. And that wanting had my heart working overtime.
“Gryff—“
“I know it's a lot to ask,” he blurted out. “And I know you're planning to get your own place with some of the other rugby girls and figure things out on your own. But I just thought, hoped... maybe we could figure it out together?”
I knew better than to rely on anyone else for stability or security. I'd gotten good at being self-sufficient because depending on other people led to disappointment when I inevitably left or someone you relied on decided they didn't need you anymore.
We'd moved around so much before my parents divorced and that meant I was real used to relying on me, myself, and I when it came time to start over. No one else helped me figure out my place in new schools, on new teams, or who were going to be friends and who weren’t.
Except Gryff had done pretty much every single one of those things that first day at Thornminster High six years ago.
Living with Gryff would mean depending on him, trusting that he wouldn't change his mind or decide he needed space or find someone more interesting to share his life with. It would mean putting down roots in a way I'd never had the opportunity to or even allowed myself to do.
He pulled at every single individual whisker in his beard while he waited for my answer, and my heart shifted in my chest with a simple flippy-flop.
This was Gryff.
My Gryff.
My best friend in the whole world.
The person who understood when we crushed on the same guy or girl in class. The person who listened to me complain about my parents' complicated relationship without trying to fix it. The person who'd staged an intervention with baby goats when I'd been stress-spiraling about finals.
“Artie?” he said quietly.
I'd been silent for too long. “I've never had someone to move somewhere new with before besides my mom.”
His eyes flickered, hope raising his eyebrows. “So...?”
“So yes.” Yeah. That was the right decision. I knew that the second the words fell out of my mouth. “Yes, I will be your roommate. In the fancy-pants house your brother just freaking gave you for graduation.”
That decision was a hell of a lot easier than thinking about playing for Scotland.
The smile that spread across his face was blinding. “Hells to the yeah. Really?”
“I'm warning you now, I'm going to want to adopt every stray animal we encounter, and I have strong opinions about couch cushions.”
“Done,” he said immediately. “We'll rescue all the animals, and you can have as many fluffy, furry, adorkably cute pillows on the couch as you can possibly order.”
“I'm making you watch rugby on that enormous TV I saw in the picture of the living room.”
“Of course.”
“And sometimes I get weird about having to do everything myself, even when I don't have to.”
“Artie,” he said gently, “You're not talking me out of this by telling me how weird you are. I already know. I want you there because you'll make it feel like home. Even when you try to sneak home a baby goat. It wouldn't be you if you didn't.”
He did already know me well enough to predict my future questionable decisions. He was the only one who did.
“Okay,” I said, and felt everything settle in my chest that had been restless for as long as I could remember. “Let's do this.”
We sat there for a moment, grinning at each other like we'd just solved some major life puzzle. Which, I supposed, maybe we had.
“Thank you,” he said quietly. “For saying yes.”
“Thank you for asking,” I replied. “For wanting me there.”
I felt lighter than I had in months.
“There they are,” Jules called out when she spotted us. She, Bridger, Flynn, and Tempest were the last ones left. “We were about to send a rescue mission.”
“Just getting some air,” Gryff said easily, but I caught Flynn looking between us with a speculative expression.
“Everything okay?” Flynn asked.
“Everything's good,” Gryff replied, and the contentment in his voice made me smile.
We gathered our things and prepared to leave Cool Beans, and I took one last look around the space where I'd witnessed something more beautiful than I'd ever known family could be like.
They'd given me a glimpse of what it meant to belong somewhere, to be chosen and valued and included without having to earn it.
And now I was choosing to build something with Gryff, choosing to trust that some people did stick around, that some relationships were worth the risk of putting down roots.
Somewhere that, just maybe, I could grow too.
I wonder if that big back yard had room for two… or three… or twenty-three baby goats.