Chapter 27
Persy
“I instated heirs.”
In one simple sentence, Sebastian managed to break my heart.
I froze at the stove, the steam from the pot of water I was boiling doing nothing to help the threat of tears building in my eyes. It had been a short two weeks since Sebastian had told me that he was going to throw a party for his honoring day. A party that was tonight.
And he decided that now was a perfect time to tell me that he’d ticked off the very last requirement of his time here—other than drawing his family out.
I breathed in, blinking rapidly to clear any haziness in my eyes, and turned to him. “That’s great to hear.”
Fuck, even those words sounded thin and fragile. I was never a good liar.
Sebastian looked at me, his eyes narrowing, like he could just tell that I hadn’t told the truth. Damn him. “That’s all you have to say? You don’t want to double check?”
I trusted him. More than I cared to admit. “I’ll have Anders check.” As the Roman god of childbirth, Anders would be able to tell if Sebastian’s line was protected.
Sebastian nodded. “Tonight, then. Most of the gods will be there.”
“I’d expect them to,” I said. “Party of the year and all.”
Sebastian rounded the corner, coming so close to me, he forced me to look directly at him. “See, you say that, and yet you’ve never been in attendance.”
“How do you know that?” He was always the center of attention wherever he went, let alone a party in his honor.
I didn’t realize I’d dropped eye contact until his finger hooked under my chin, lightly pushing my face up. I swallowed thickly, the touch burning into every inch of my body. “I’d know.”
I felt like he’d just stabbed me in the chest. He couldn’t say things like that, not when he was leaving. As calmly as I could, I said, “I’m going to get ready.”
I’d stepped out a few days ago to go shopping with Rose, feeling a horrible sense of pressure to find a new dress, one that drove Sebastian as crazy as he made me. Even if that was undeserved.
Sebastian let me step away from him, though I felt his eyes like a hot brand while I turned to find a tea cup. Before I could, his form eclipsed the sun streaming in the windows, leaning close as he reached over my shoulder and grabbed a mug for me and quickly made my tea.
I could barely mutter a thank you, I fled the kitchen so fast. By the time I made it into my bathroom, I was all but heaving. Something felt much scarier now, like I was aware of every second that slipped through my fingers and pushed us closer and closer to the end of this.
I was in a daze the entire time I was getting ready, so much so I wished I’d asked Daphne to come help me get ready. When we were younger, she was the one who’d taught me how to do makeup. I could have used her right now.
Despite my nerves, I was happy with the way I looked. I’d done simple makeup, curling my hair into soft waves.
And the dress…it looked like liquid gold. It was strapless, dipping down quite low on my back, and pooling to the floor in a wash of gold fabric. I hadn’t realized until too late that it might have been a little on the nose, but I had been drawn to it.
By the time I was at my dresser, putting on a bracelet as a finishing touch, I was feeling marginally more settled.
“Ready?”
My back seized on instinct. I turned over my shoulder, finding Sebastian leaning against my door frame. I nodded quickly, unsure why my throat felt so tight. This was a good thing.
I should have been proud. Earlier than I expected, I’d be able to tell my brother that Sebastian’s line was safe, that we didn’t have to risk a world without art and music and light.
That was everything I should have wanted. I should be proud of myself. Instead, I was wondering whether or not it was acceptable to beg my brother not to kill him. It didn’t matter that he’d assured me multiple times he had no intention of doing so and actually wanted Sebastian to come back.
He was vulnerable now, and I didn’t like it.
I turned on shaky legs, looking down to adjust a few of my bracelets.
“You look beautiful, love.”
My head snapped up, meeting Sebastian’s observant gaze. The humor I was so used to seeing, the one that reminded me to keep distance between us, was no where to be found.
He looked as serious as the dead.
Nerves clawed up my throat. “I thought beautiful was too simple of a compliment?” I said, in an attempt to regain some control.
There wasn’t a lick of humor on Sebastian’s face. “They’re my rules. I can adjust them.”
My heart started to kick off a little faster, breaths pulling in shakier and shakier. This was going to be a rough night, I could already tell. I just needed to remind myself of our normal dynamic. Light teasing and easy smiles.
I could tell him how nice he looked. He looked perfect, actually.
It was rather annoying. I was trying really hard to set some internal boundaries and try not to take any of his actions personally. I didn’t know what he was like when he with other people. Maybe those easy compliments were how he was with everyone.
And I wasn’t supposed to want to be different than the rest.
This was just all so, so wrong.
“You look beautiful, as well,” I tried, but the words came out far too serious.
Sebastian’s face fell even further, his nostrils flaring slightly. He took a step into my room, towards me, then straightened. He ran a hand down the lapel of his suit, which had no business looking as good on him as it did.
Actually, it had every business looking like a piece of art on the god of it.
I forced a smile, walking past him in a wider arc to avoid the scent of his cologne. Sebastian turned and followed me, my back heating from his proximity.
“I told Anders to meet us in the Apollo Gallery,” I said, needing to focus on the to-do list. Sebastian—or Jason Dionysus, really—had decided that the Olympian Museum was as good as a location as any for the party. I wasn’t one to complain, especially since I hadn’t really been able to stop thinking about Sunlight Incarnate since I’d first seen it. “Then, the rest of the night you are free to be Apollo.”
I winced, realizing how snappy that sounded.
Before I could turn and change the subject, distracting from it, Sebastian was standing at my back. My stomach dipped and swooped, all my focus shooting into the nerves on my back to feel him more intensely.
He leaned in close, speaking directly in my ear. “Alright. After you, love.” I wished my hair wasn’t tucked behind it. It would have been easier if I had my hair to muffle the sound of his voice, making the lightning in my blood strike ground with such force, it made me sway back on my heels.
I gathered a portal, which took a second longer to manifest when my focus was this distracted. If Sebastian noticed, he didn’t comment on it. He just placed a hand at the base of my spine to steady me as I walked through.
He also did not need to know that I actually needed to be steadied this time, or that his hand might have made it worse.
When we stepped through into the gallery, filled with art Sebastian had painted himself, a sharp slice of pain cut through my chest.
He was everywhere. He was standing behind me. He was in the paintings on the walls. He was in every inch of this room, and it was pressing down on me like the weight of the entire world.
I looked up at him, even though I knew that would do me no good. He was already looking down at me, looking at me like he was trying to catalog every one of my features to memory.
Even though that look was just a product of his power, my traitorous heart wanted to view it as more. To steal that look and make sure he never gave it to anyone else.
A low sound fell from his lips, and my eyes slipped down his nose to stare at his mouth. Another sound, much louder and more threatening, followed and I felt the heat of his hand hover over my hip.
I leaned into the touch, even though I knew better. I was getting closer and closer to convincing myself that it would be okay if we crossed the line into something physical.
I couldn’t think of much else these days besides wondering what his hands would feel like on me, what it would feel like if he used his—
“Your thoughts are written all over your face, love,” Sebastian all but growled, his words so rough they were almost chastising. “I’m starting to lose my—”
“Can we get this over quick? I have a date waiting on me.”
We sprang apart like two thieves caught standing in the middle of a vault. Luckily, Anders was looking down at his watch as he stepped out of the portal, blissfully unaware of what had almost happened between us.
When I looked back at Sebastian, his confident stance was back. He looked entirely unaffected, meanwhile my heart felt like it was going to beat right out of my chest. My entire body was pulsing, heat and desire pumping through my blood.
“Thank you, Anders,” I said, hoping my voice didn’t sound as strained to him as it did to my own ears.
Anders smiled, coming over to give me a quick kiss on the cheek.
“You’re the one who said you had somewhere to be. Stop lingering,” Sebastian snapped, arms crossed and staring Anders down like he was his next kill on a hunt.
Anders raised his eyebrows, still hovering close to me. “I’ll help you after I greet Persy. Given she’s the one who put in all the work fixing you.”
He didn’t need to be fixed. I clenched my jaw to keep the words inside. Sebastian had grown, repented, but he was the same man who’d bought me flowers and cooked me dinner from the moment we started living together.
“As much as I would normally love to sit here for hours talking about all her positive traits, I’d like this particular moment,” Sebastian said, his eyes focused on the sliver of space between Anders and I, “to be over as quickly as possible.”
Anders scoffed, shooting me a questioning look. I was aware that Sebastian had grown a little protective, but that didn’t change the fact that I was a temporary figure in his life.
“If you would, Anders,” I said, nodding at Sebastian. It felt necessary to add a quiet, “Please.”
I needed this to be over as soon as possible. Seeing Sebastian framed by his own work was too much. It was like every painting was meant to frame him, his form fitting perfectly into every landscape, chaotic scene, or portrait.
Thank goodness we’d landed on the other side of the wall from Sunlight Incarnate. I’d oscillated between growing furious at the thought of the woman in that painting and irrationally convincing myself that Sebastian had painted me.
As Anders reached for his hand, I turned, pretending to admire the paintings and sculptures. I could feel the hot pressure of someone’s eyes on my back, but refused to turn around.
If either of them saw the tears building in my eyes, I would have to explain myself.
So I stood there, staring at a painting that did nothing but remind me of the man who painted it, and listened as Anders sealed my fate.
There was a light whoosh through the room, a calm wind as Anders called on his power and confirmed whether or not Sebastian had reinstated heirs.
I held my breath the entire time, unsure which result was more damning.
“He’s right,” Anders said firmly. “Three heirs.”
Oh. Okay. So it was done.
I was pretty sure I felt my heart crack. Putting on a smile, I turned around, focusing on Anders. “Thank you so much. Adrian will be happy to hear it.”
Anders nodded slowly, needing to respect Adrian’s authority for a moment. But it was clear that he was evaluating my reaction. Catching on to the strain in my voice.
I smiled through it, setting it in place so that he knew it wasn’t the time to press.
With another nod and quick kiss on the cheek, Anders left in search of his date for the evening. I had half the mind to beg him to stay.
To give me just a small break from Sebastian.
My feet must have been moving towards the nearest exit on their own regard, because Sebastian’s voice called after me. “Now hold on, love. Don’t go running off.”
His voice sounded normal, mostly that low but casual tone I’d grown so used to. But there was an undercurrent of something darker that made me stop dead in my tracks.
I didn’t turn, having to choose between the lesser of two evils and let Sebastian crowd my space from behind. I wasn’t sure I could keep my thoughts off my face, though I was hardly any good at it to begin with.
Maybe I would have to flee, especially if any ounce of what I felt for him appeared on my face.
Sebastian stepped closer, an inch closer than normal, his heat enveloping me. I caught a shiver at the very last moment, my shoulders still pinching together.
“I’m not,” I said, breathing in. “You’re the guest of honor. And you’re already late.”
This time, I wouldn’t stop if he told me to. I started walking briskly towards the door, trying not to focus too hard on the sound of Sebastian’s footsteps as he followed me.
The second we left the gallery, we could hear the voices from the party. But as we approached, they started to get louder and louder until I felt every one of their voices like lances to the skin.
I was feeling too much to be around this many people. This was good. Sebastian probably didn’t want me following him around while he reconnected with old friends and patrons.
Guards snapped to attention as we walked through the back hallway, scrambling to open the doors to let us inside.
The second we stepped through the massive wood doors, coming under a dome thousands of years old that was so well-designed and so well-adorned it looked no more than a few days since its reveal, the party came to a screeching halt.
Every eye in the room swung towards us and my body immediately felt hot with the pressure of their attention.
It was Adrian’s voice, cutting through the silence from the other end of the room, that came next. “Lord Apollo, everyone.”
While every gaze in the room swung to Sebastian, I took the opportunity to inch to the side and down the curved staircase.
“Happy to be here. Though I would be happier with a glass of champagne in my hand,” Sebastian said, commanding the entire room with a smile and a few words. While everyone laughed in response, I made it down the stairwell, fully intending on finding the nearest corner to collect myself in.
Sebastian’s hand wrapped around my upper arm a second later. “I recall you promising to keep me company. You wouldn’t be reneging on a promise, would you?”
I breathed in, my throat tight. I’d made that promise over a week ago, in between Sebastian cooking and me reading. Things were different now. “I’m simply letting you do what you want. We’ll go home together … We will leave together—at the same time. Go. Be Apollo.”
Sebastian pulled lightly on my arm, making me face him. His eyes were serious as he said, “Don’t have much interest in that.”
“Yes you do.” It had taken him all of three seconds to slip back into his role as a beloved god. Though I knew he didn’t care for the same level of fame he’d had before, this was the one day a year where he deserved the spotlight. “I can practically see you buzzing with excitement. Go.” I knew that wasn’t true, but I needed space.
Sebastian’s eyes narrowed. I’d never been able to hide from him. “You are wildly misjudging me this evening.”
I held his eyes, unable to do anything but look at him with drawn brows.
“Fine.” Sebastian said, his eyes bouncing over my face and exposed chest. “For now.”
I watched as he walked away, walking into the crowd. A line was already forming near him, people about ready to fall over themselves to get even a minute of his attention.
I stood back and watched as people fell in love with Apollo all over again, feeling nothing but understanding in my chest.
?
“Dance with me.”
I looked up to find Sebastian staring down at me with an expression I couldn’t recognize, hand outstretched. It had been over an hour since I’d last spoken to him. I’d found my brother and Reyna, accepting a glass of champagne as I told my brother about Sebastian’s heirs.
I’d spoken with Daphne and Rose, both of whom asked me two different times if I was okay. I appreciated how well they knew me, but I couldn’t tell them without my throat closing up, let alone having them know why I wasn’t okay in the first place.
I’d found a seat with Corinna Aphrodite, who had expressed an almost uncanny interest in me, and finished our conversation when Sebastian approached.
I shook my head softly. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
He didn’t need to know that it was mainly a bad idea because I was sure it would make me fall a little in love with him. He could assume it was because of how it would look.
“I don’t give a shit how it looks,” he said, placing a hand on the back of my chair and leaning down so that our faces were only a handful of inches apart. Now this was certainly going to draw attention.
I sighed, knowing how Sebastian worked. “And I’m assuming you’re going to make an even bigger deal about this if I don’t accept?”
Sebastian smiled, and this close, it was as blinding as staring directly into the sun. “Right as always, love.” He brought his hand in between us, and a shock ran up my back. I would just have to brace myself.
“Alright,” I said softly, placing my hand in his. We didn’t touch often. For good reason, I was reminded, when a lash of heat whipped through me when his hand curled over mine.
My heart felt likely to beat out of my chest, and we hadn’t even started dancing yet.
Sebastian helped me to stand. He didn’t let go of my hand as he twisted and started pulling me after him as he wove through people trying to get his attention and made his way to the center of the dancing couples with me in tow.
I looked down and saw the chain of my necklace peeking out of his suit. He still wore it wrapped around his wrist. After all this time.
Before I had a chance to prepare, he spun around and yanked me towards him, forcing our bodies flush together. One hand settled low on my back while the other—the one that had been holding my hand—curled into his chest.
I guessed it was natural for me to slide my hand up to rest on his shoulder. It was what the other couples were doing. Some of them were pressed much closer than we were.
“You’ve been avoiding me,” Sebastian said low, speaking right next to my ear.
Now I was grateful that we were dancing. I could conveniently keep my gaze over his shoulder while I answered him. “I told you. I was letting you be Apollo.”
Sebastian hummed and the sound rumbled against my own chest, launching my heart into my throat. For just these few minutes, I could pretend that we were two people who could be dancing together, pressed close like lovers.
I relaxed into him, closing my eyes for a moment as I felt his heart beat on my upper chest.
The music was slow and rich, a low piano complemented by long notes from violins and other strings. It was easy to dance to, needing only to sway to the rhythmic beat.
For these moments, I could pretend like I could have something more than this with Sebastian.
Neither of us were making any move to speak. It could have been hesitation or silent appreciation, but part of me wanted to know what Sebastian was thinking. Well, a very large part.
But while he was holding me to him, letting me hold him just as much, I had to be okay with the silence.
I was so wrapped up in him it took until the next song started, another song fit for dancing I realized with a sigh of relief, for my vision to clear enough to take in our surroundings.
The muscles in my back tensed, pulled tight from the weight of everyone’s attention. Sure, most of the room was wrapped up in their own conversations.
But there were clusters, individuals scattered across the room, who were staring at us. At first I wanted to assume they were staring in interest, trying to figure out what was going on between us.
Nothing, I felt the need to clarify.
It wasn’t until a moment after, another pass over the eyes pinned on us, that I realized that they weren’t staring in interest.
They were trying to figure out when it was acceptable to cut in.
Once the realization settled in, it was impossible to miss it.
The unsure glances, trying to catch on to any sign that we were about to separate. Whispering with friends to get affirmation. Most of it didn’t even seem to be from romantic interest.
Sebastian was simply the most interesting, most alluring person in the room. And I was getting in the way of people having a moment of his time.
“Sebastian,” I said slowly, pulling back to try to meet his eyes. I didn’t need to try at all, because he was already looking at me. “I think we should stop.”
You’d think I asked him if he was willing to light a priceless piece of art on fire, he looked so offended. “And why would we do that?”
If I answered him honestly, he’d just try to convince me that he’d rather spend time with me. He was kind enough to care if I felt cast aside in favor of the people lining up to steal a moment of his time.
So I’d just do it for him.
“I’m tired.” The second I said it, I realized how true that was. I was exhausted trying to act like I hadn’t developed feelings for him. “I think it’s time I go home.”
Sebastian opened his mouth, but I kept speaking. “You stay. Enjoy tonight.”
His eyes moved over my face, taking in every little expression. Every little place where my muscles were tight or my eyes were glassy. After a moment, he slowly released me.
Stepping away from him felt as taxing as running for four hours straight.
“If you leave, I leave,” he said, using a tone that left no room for disagreement. “I’ll only accept you resting on a couch for the rest of the night.”
“I don’t need to be with you all the time,” I argued, though the words held little fire. “In a few weeks, the six months is over. You’ll go back to this.”
Whatever Sebastian was thinking, he kept it inside. “Stop acting like you don’t know that this was never what I cared about. What is going on?” The way he asked that sounded almost … hopeful.
I was too tired, and this was too public, so I simply sighed. “I’ll stay.” I would be making sure I didn’t have to watch him dance with anyone else, but I’d stay if he asked me to.
Sebastian smiled, though it didn’t reach his eyes. He nodded towards one of the sprawling tables on the other side of the room. “Go sit. I’ll be over with a drink.”
I nodded, forcing a smile to myself, though I knew it would be several minutes before he made it over, considering the line forming for people to speak with him. Sebastian squeezed my hand as I stepped away, making me realize that he was still holding it.
Lightning shot from my arm into his hand, my power flaring out of control, but right as Sebastian looked down, eyes blown wide, someone said, “Lord Apollo, a moment?”