Thayla #3
“Depending on the words said, possibly. What more than likely will set him off is everyone trying to fix him or really, his grief for him. He just wants to be angry right now, and he wants others to be angry with him.”
“What makes you assume that?”
I purse my lips at her and scoff before taking a sip of coffee.
Assume…she’s so silly.
“There’s no assuming. If there’s one thing I know, it’s living in constant anger.
I used to fucking hate it when people would look at me with such pity in their eyes anytime my parents were brought up, followed by Meridamus, or when they saw a black eye or new bruise.
I didn’t want sad smiles. I wanted them to treat me like an adult not an orphan or get mad on my behalf because I was getting the shit beat out of me. ”
My eyes grow distant, thinking about how Mrs. Armend and some of the other ladies would take their morning walks. They’d stroll right past me as I stomped home from the training arenas and give me those smiles.
Ugh. It still makes me grind my teeth.
I blink and jerk myself out of my head.
“That’s what Sevryn’s looking for. Someone to stand with him and meet his anger. That doesn’t mean feed into, but yeah, when he goes on a tangent about wanting his father dead, say, ‘Fuck yeah, he deserves to die.’”
I do a double take at their silence, then sneer at both of them.
“Those fucking looks right there. You’re both looking at me like you want to hug me.”
“Do you need a hug?” Rose asks, and I roll my eyes.
“No, thank you. I’m fine.”
“Are you sure? You’ve—”
I press my finger to Yemi’s lips. “I don’t think so. You aren’t changing the subject. We all know I got a parchment full of shit going on and you both know it all. I want to know what’s going on in your lives. How’s life with four boyfriends?”
She playfully swats me away and huffs as she glares at Rose’s giggling.
“I don’t have four boyfriends officially, thank you.” She pauses, smirking at our begging gazes. “I have two officially, working on the third, and the fourth…his intentions are clear, but that’ll take some time.”
Rose and I squeal, and Yemi doesn’t find amusement in that whatsoever. I clear my voice and calm myself down.
I’m so thrilled it isn’t just me dealing with all these men.
“Sevryn and Doren are obviously the official ones. Iric, I’d assume is the third, and Nero fourth?” I ask.
“Yep.”
“You’ve got so much to fill us in on. Don’t hold back, just let us hear it. We’re all ears,” I say.
Rose and I lean closer to her, I swear feening for her to spit it out. She scowls at us playfully but gets comfortable right alongside us.
“Well, as we’re all painfully aware, your Valtrue member drugged us, dragging up some of our truths.”
I force my chuckle into a cough. “Yep. I do. Still sorry about that, by the way.”
She looks as unconvinced as I sound.
“Yeah, yeah. Anyway, that conversation really did do wonders for Sevryn and Doren. Sevryn quit with his bitching and possessiveness, and sort of…welcomed Doren in if that’s what I wanted.
At first, I did but didn’t. Like I told you, to me, it felt like he was trying to be too perfect when he first arrived.
“I still can tell that he hasn’t been completely open about things, but I’m not pressuring him into telling me everything that happened to him prior to faking his death. I just needed to make sure first this whole loving, happy-for-everyone persona was real.”
“And?” I ask.
“It’s real. He really is that way. Whatever he learned and went through prior to faking his death has made him find joy in the smallest of things. He says if he doesn’t, then his mind goes to a really depressing place. Iric’s been working with him on it, and it’s really helped, I believe.
“He isn’t as over the top as he was, but that giddiness and wanting to be friendly to everyone is who he is. I honestly adore it. I need it. If he were just as serious as the others, I’d probably be miserable. He keeps, well, tries to keep everyone level.”
I smile softly and don’t interrupt as her eyes grow all tender. I’m very happy to hear that he’s treating her so good, and that whole getting on his knee thing in front of Hellveilious was real.
Honestly, I didn’t doubt that, but you never know with people.
“I just feel so bad sometimes because the others can be fucking mean for no reason. Not necessarily mean to him, but when he’s trying to find the bright spot in something, they can be assholes rather than do the same.”
“Even Iric? It surprises me a man so in tune with emotions would act like that.” She purses her lips at me, although Rose nods in agreement. “I’m not saying it like that as a dig, I swear. It’s true, though. He’s in tune with his and everyone else’s emotions.”
She huffs. “He’s actually not great at expressing his emotions all the time. He says because of his power, he doesn’t have the ability to tune his feelings down. If he shares, it’s going to be raw, possibly harsh, so he picks and chooses when to share.”
“He isn’t mean to you, though, is he?” Rose asks.
“No, Iric’s never been mean, per se. I’ve learned that if he doesn’t agree or his feelings about something may be too strong, he goes quiet and doesn’t communicate.
On top of his own emotions being hard to handle, he’s afraid that if he pushes back, his powers will react and pull where the others’ emotions are coming from forward.
His refusal to use his power on people without their permission is honestly what I find most attractive about him.
“Although I will admit I hate to see him struggle. Especially right now. Sevryn, understandably, has everyone on their toes at the house. Honestly, that’s why I brought this up in the first place.
I’m struggling to figure out how to handle each of them.
What works for one doesn’t work for the others. Confusing-ass men.”
A deep breath falls from her chest, but it rolls into a laugh right along with our small ones.
“It’s difficult dealing with four men and their emotions. First, you’ve got to remember, their emotions aren’t your responsibility. It’s natural to want to be there for someone you care about, but it’s also okay to back off and let them figure it out on their own.
“Second, of course one size doesn’t fit all, so to speak.
I had to learn my guys’ personalities and how they communicate best first, then I learned how to react to each of them.
Like, Creed needs to be pushed and challenged.
Riven needs to relate before he’ll vent.
Kyzen needs open and honest communication.
Amick wants things straight to the point. ”
“Yeah, with Lambrit, I sort of have to overexplain the whole situation that led to my emotions. But I never have to tell him something more than once. He’s literally never made the same mistake twice with anything that bothered me.”
My bright smile has Rose blushing behind her mug.
I love them together.
“Huh. I can really see that working, actually. I have them pretty much figured out. My biggest obstacle is going to be stopping them from stopping me. Like I said, when I wanted to pop off to Sevryn, Iric stepped in and I let him. I have to nip that in the bud.”
I laugh at the serious concentration that crosses her features.
“So, since you have them figured out, what’s the deal with Nero, really? I haven’t decided if I like him or not.”
“Thayla,” Rose whisper-yells, and I shrug.
“What? I haven’t. He really set himself up for failure with me when he thought he was going to take her away and hide her in Valveilious.”
Yeah, that reminder has her staring at Yemi for an answer as well.
“Ugh, don’t get me started. He’s…I don’t even know.”
“Is he an a-hole?” Rose asks.
Yemi and I stare at her for a moment, then burst out laughing. She waves us off as she takes our mugs and marches to the kitchen to fix everyone more coffee.
“No, honestly, he isn’t. Not to me anyway. Shockingly, he’s actually pretty sweet and funny. Especially when we have small moments to ourselves like when the others are in their rooms. He’s struggling with this dynamic and what his parents are going to say.”
“Wait, he hasn’t told them yet?” Rose asks as she sits back down. “We haven’t talked about them much, but I remember at dinner he made it seem like he tells them everything.”
“Usually, yes, he would. But he hasn’t told them about our Valtrue.”
“Why?” I ask, then my eyes narrow. “Does he act like he’s ashamed?”
“No, it’s nothing like that. He acts scared almost. I don’t think it really even has to do with us. I think he’s scared that when he tells them I’m an Attendant, they’re going to show their true feelings, and that’s going to burst this idea he has of them.
“Granted, he hasn’t admitted that, but Doren told me that Nero’s father holds him to an incredibly high standard.
He was the Lead Mediator in Valveilious for years.
He still gets called in to help during very intense situations.
They’ve always carried themselves as unbiased.
A family that will never choose a side because they’re needed in the middle.
Doren doesn’t believe that’s true, though. ”
“So is that your reservation with him?” I ask carefully, but yeah, nosily.
“Yeah, most definitely. If he can’t be himself and stop worrying so much about what his family thinks, we can’t have a relationship. Not a romantic one anyway.”
“I’ve got to admit, Yemi, I’m really shocked you’re taking this whole dynamic so well. I didn’t really see you on board with having four boyfriends. I mean, you kinda freaked out when you met them.”
“I don’t know how either of you does it.” Rose sighs hard as if the thought alone overwhelms her.
“Well, yeah, that freaked me out, but like I told you, I was fascinated with your situation. I didn’t fully understand it and never would’ve tried to find four random gods to date, but there’s a lot of sense in having a relationship with your Valtrue.