Thayla
My knees hit the ground as my power snaps back inside of me, and a gasping breath shudders in my chest.
I allow my arms to fall limply at my sides as I tilt my head toward the ceiling.
The marbled ceiling.
What little air I had left in my lungs rushes out of me as my gaze roams over the black-and-white marble and the streaks of baby blue that scatter throughout it. Lights glisten around the grand temple, making the shards of gold flakes on the floor glitter like stars.
The obsidian statue standing proudly in the middle of the area is etched to perfection. It captures every one of Derivius’s features.
Including two bright, baby blue eyes.
“This is what his temple is supposed to look like. This is right.”
Air whooshes through the space as V flies over to me and waddles into my lap.
“My Chaos and Creation did this,” I whisper as the two powers still vibrate lightly beneath my skin.
“I…That day in the Lost Sea, Doren said the responsibility of the Binding was mine because the guys were at risk of falling to the dark side without me. He never took me without them into account, though. Maybe he wasn’t warned. ”
I continue to glance around the temple. I’m honestly in awe despite feeling raw and hollow inside.
“Without them.” I shake my head. “That’s a dark possibility, V. One I refuse to let become a reality. I don’t want to become someone I don’t recognize or fall apart or be destructive. I don’t want to become the Beginning Gods or anything like them.”
“You just proved you’re capable of not allowing that to happen, Thayla. Instead of destruction, you wielded your power in a way that righted a wrong done to him.”
My attention slides over to Derivius’s still sleeping form. He’s none the wiser about what I’ve done. The multiple broken bottles that surrounded him are nowhere to be found.
The anger I felt so strongly just moments ago is nowhere to be found either.
Deep sadness replaces it.
“Is he as bad as the others? Am I blinded by our relationship?”
“No. Much like…”
I swallow hard. “Riven.”
“Yes. Much like Riven, Derivius is severely misunderstood. He has and probably always will be the easiest to blame because of his power. He has a good heart and soul. Plus, very redeeming qualities.”
Redeeming.
Redemption walks a different path.
I close my eyes as Willow’s words echo around my mind.
“Which of the others are worthy of redemption? Truly?”
“That will depend entirely on the path they choose to take in the end.”
In the end.
I nod as I think about that. Where does it end?
“Obliteration and Seduction are going to see this through their way until the end. They both are too consumed with power now to change.”
“I’m afraid that is the truth.”
The clearing of my throat shatters the silence around the temple and I push myself up, dusting my knees off before wiping my nose.
“Then we figure out a way for the Valorian Veil to function without them. Until then, though, I need to get my men back and set them free. Starshoot Derivius to our couch, please. I’d hate for his drunk ass to fall out of that chair and crack his head open on the new floor I made him.”
“You have a plan?”
“Yeah. I do.”
Well…I’m going to have one.
“Call for me if you need me.”
The bright flash of white light blazes through the temple as he starshoots himself and Derivius to the house. My whisper of ‘I will’ echoes through the air as I step forward until I’m standing under the beam of moonlight.
My body is still trembling and my soul’s thrashing from side to side with absolutely nowhere to go.
As the adrenaline fades and the silent loneliness creeps in, my chest pulls tight with all thoughts of them that run through my mind.
It’s impossible to shake them enough from my system to even breathe properly.
“I can’t do this,” I mutter to myself as I place my hands on my hips. “How the hell do I get them out of my head for five seconds?”
No answer is whispered to me. I didn’t expect it to, but…I also didn’t expect my spine to start tingling. My power of Boundaries crawls through my body until it’s wrapped around my heart. A shuddering breath escapes me.
“No. I definitely can’t do that.”
I shake my head as if my power will speak back to me. In a way, it does. It tightens its hold around my heart.
Give me a moment to think, will you?
Think…
It doesn’t actually take me much thought. Maybe what truly comes over me is an excuse. An easy out to escape the overwhelming emotions that I can’t process or control.
It isn’t an escape if you don’t plan on keeping it up forever.
Just long enough to save the people you love most in this realm.
Then…it can go back to normal.
Plus, it’s obvious your power of Boundaries is trying to protect you.
At least this time it’s giving you a heads-up.
Right…
With a long, deep exhale, I allow my power to do what it’s pushing for.
The panic, worry, love don’t vanish. It…what had been sharp and clawing moments ago, dulls.
My emotions become something trapped behind glass. I can still feel them—sort of—and I still know they’re there. They no longer tear through me, though.
My breath hitches as the shift continues. It’s not a snap or a severing, but a dampening. Like someone had taken a torch lamp I depend on and turned it down to its weakest flicker. I still feel for them, but it’s…faint, quiet. It’s simple when it should be consuming.
This is almost worse.
Feeling too much or too little. Both options right now hurt.
Unlike when I unknowingly put up a barrier between my emotions and Mellcom, this time, my soul flips its shit. It doesn’t like this wall whatsoever. It doesn’t care a thing that I included Derivius in the separation as well.
My mind, on the other hand, appreciates the reprieve.
You can work with this discomfort.
So now that you can breathe, really think this through.
Minutes pass as I sit in complete stillness and silence. Without them taking up so much space in my heart and mind, it clicks quicker than I expected.
My eyes fly open as I call my power forward and starshoot the Angle Aura Amethysts that Amick set around my bedroom to me. I did take Willow’s instructions about them to heart and have been carrying a piece around with me in my pocket, but I’m pretty sure I need more than a single stone right now.
Five little clusters appear in my palms and my head tilts back as I gaze at the stars.
Just be honest.
“Messenger…I know every time I talk to you, I have quite the attitude. I’m here to tell you, well, that isn’t going to change. I’m angry. Rightfully so, if you ask me. But I will try to tell you the truth without calling you an asshole.”
I chuckle at myself as my thumb runs across the sharp-pointed sphere of one of the stones.
“I’m never going to put the Valories first. I want to be grateful.
I am to an extent. Without them, there’d be no realm, no breath in my lungs, no sky full of clouds or stars, but that gratefulness curdles the more the truth comes out.
The way they’re going about things isn’t out of love or true desire for the realm to be right.
“They can’t deny that. Especially now that I know they themselves are losing power because the Beginning Gods aren’t praying to them.
They’ve been stripped of power just like the rest of us.
I’m sure they’re still powerful beyond my understanding, but they’ve obviously been affected enough it drove them to start making decisions to change things. ”
I squeeze my eyes shut as my fingers curl around the Amethyst.
“How can I put them first and love them more than my men and my friends, who are more like family? Love doesn’t rip parents away from their child because they decided to throw a Binding into a sea in order to protect her.
Love doesn’t silence, withhold, or decide that suffering is an acceptable cost so long as the end result aligns with some distant, perfect vision.
“The Valories didn’t just let it happen.
They ensured it. It isn’t just me who’s had to face things like this.
It seems everyone they use has to suffer in some form or fashion.
I have a feeling they believe what they’re doing is right.
They made seven Beginning Gods, one each, in their likeness.
Pair that with V’s statement and it makes the most sense. But it isn’t right.
“Go back to the beginning of this shitshow. Why weren’t the Beginning Gods allowed to love one another?
Why was that even a rule? I can understand the not-making-babies part.
They can grow up to be intimidatingly powerful people, but still, falling in love was wrong?
Are the Valories incapable of the emotion?
Do they not understand it and that’s why they forbid it? ”
My head tilts to the side as I contemplate that.
My thoughts focus on Lambrit, then Amick.
The two smartest beings I’ve ever met in my life.
It took them time to actually understand what love is.
They had always shown it in their own way, but even then, they didn’t know exactly what it was until it was pointed out to them.
“Maybe that is it. Maybe they don’t know.”
I shake myself out and clear my throat, then focus back on the stars.
“Anyways, that’s what I’m feeling and what I wanted to let you know.
Although they should already freaking know it, you can let the Valories know we’re going to right the wrongs.
But we’re doing it our way. First step is I’ve got to get my men back.
I have a plan, well, I’m forming a plan, so if you’d, you know, like to give me a little sign I’m heading in the right direction, that’d be great. ”
I rock back and forth on my heels, tumbling the Angel Aura Amethyst in my palms as I wait. For a sign, a message, the wind to fucking blow, I don’t know. Something.
After a long stretch of nothing, I blow out my breath.
“Figured as—”
My gasp rips from my chest as the sight of the temple morphs into flashes of images.
The Athenaeum.
The barrier to the Abandon.
The Lost Sea.
The Meadows.
Hellveilious.