Amick
In a few hours, all the research, the planning, the secrets, the hopes, dreams, everything I worked for to give my brothers and myself a slice of freedom will have been for nothing.
This was the main reason I kept it to myself for as long as I did.
I knew dangling it in front of them would give them a sense of hope we haven’t felt since we pressed our backs against the building beside Seductions twenty years ago.
Just like then, it’s being ripped right from underneath us.
I failed them. I failed Thayla.
I failed…myself.
My eyes drift shut as I sift through any shred of information in my mind that may give me an idea to get us out of here.
It’s not like I haven’t spent the last forty-four hours doing the same thing, but I refuse to just give up.
There’s absolutely nothing helpful in that ghastly room Calista made for me.
That last-minute thought of a creation proves without a shadow of a doubt, the Goddess of Creation has never and will never care to truly know her children.
Even though there are rows of books, only one single shelf has actual text. The rest are completely blank. Decorations to fill the space.
I thought when I slid the first tome out of its spot, my mind was playing tricks on me. I flipped through the pages, only to be met with no words or ink.
After the fourth book, it became clear she couldn’t, or at least didn’t care to, create the stories inside. The single shelf that did hold information was text I was reading by the age of four.
That didn’t shock me.
That was around the time she was actually in our lives.
“Amick.”
I blink my eyes open and cast them to Kyzen briefly.
“Yeah?”
“You okay?”
“Fine.”
“Of course he’s fine. He’s been standing in his little corner for two days, emotionless.”
I don’t feed into Riven.
He’s gone through every emotion imaginable. Now he’s circled back around to anger.
“Don’t start your shit again,” Creed grunts.
“I’m not starting anything. It’s the truth. He’s sat right there, in that spot, not doing a damn thing.”
“What would you have me do, Riven?” I ask.
“Uh, I don’t know.” He shrugs, shifting his pace from in front of the couch to in front of me. “Maybe figure out a way to get us out of the shit you got us into.”
“I didn’t get us into anything.”
“Yes, the fuck you did, and I’m tired of everyone acting like you didn’t.
You stabbed Harriseen. You had to face a trial in front of the Beginning Gods.
You announced we were getting out of the agreement using the Law of Double Dick Whatever.
You agreed to us coming to the Goddess of Crazy’s house. All that was you.”
“We all agreed to come here,” Kyzen says.
“Oh, blah, blah. That wasn’t even a damn choice. It was a consequence of everything he had done prior. If we never had to stand before them, you three’s mother never would’ve made us come here.”
He’s right.
I hate that he’s right.
My one impulsive decision landed us where we all are now.
“Enough, Riven. It doesn’t matter how—”
“He’s right, Kyzen. It’s my fault.”
Riven’s footsteps fall still.
Then a bark of laughter belts out of him.
“This is glorious. That’s twice in like the span of a couple of weeks he’s admitted I’m right. The realm must really be coming to an end.”
“I’ve never had an issue actually admitting when you’re right, Riven. The occasions are just far and few between.”
His smirk melts away to an unflattering sneer. In a few short strides, he stands before me.
“You can’t help yourself, can you?” he asks.
“Can’t help myself what?”
“Make everyone around you feel beneath you.”
My eyebrows scrunch together as I stare at him.
“I’ve never made you feel beneath me.”
“You have, every fucking day of our lives!” He throws his hands in the air before taking another step closer. “Don’t touch that. Don’t say that. That’s not how it works, Riven. You’re missing the point. Let me handle it.”
His voice twists into a cruel mocking tone, and heat blooms under my skin. He sees it. He smirks.
“You don’t even hear yourself. It’s always correction after correction, dismissal after dismissal, like the rest of us are wrong by default. You say this shit like we don’t try or put effort into any damn thing. Like we’re just…too slow to keep up with you.”
He releases a hollow laugh as he tilts his head to the side and stares at me.
“Is that why you’re so obsessed with your little torch lamps? They do exactly as they’re supposed to do every fucking time you flick it on.”
“Riv—”
My fist cracks across his cheek before Kyzen can finish the bark of his name.
With a deranged laugh, his body collides with mine and my back slams into the wall.
The impact rattles my teeth.
I barely get a breath before he’s on me again, driving his fist into my ribs hard enough to force the air out of my lungs. I shove back, catching his shoulder and twisting, slamming him sideways into the wall.
Something cracks under our force. The floor, the wall, I don’t know, but it gives just enough to throw him off balance.
He swings again and I don’t duck out of the way.
His knuckles snap my head to the side, and the salty tang of blood erupts across my tongue.
My fingers tangle into his shirt and I yank him forward, driving my knee into his gut, then I follow him to the floor.
Creed’s and Kyzen’s bellows are muffled from the laughter that continues to spill from Riven’s bloody mouth. Every hit of his that lands against my ribs cracks something inside of me.
Not bone.
The hands that grip us get slung off as we roll across the floor, bashing into furniture and anything else in our way.
“Every night,” I shout as I drive my fist into his face. “Every night I clutched that torch lamp to my chest as I walked across that dark room.”
The air is thrust from my lungs as he strikes me in my stomach. I don’t let it stop me. My elbow connects with someone’s nose behind me before I bring it down again.
“He taunted me and taunted me!”
He grabs me by the collar of my shirt, jerks me down, and I hit the ground hard. My shoulder takes the brunt of it, and pain flares, hot and immediate, when he slams his forehead into my face.
That doesn’t stop me.
We don’t stop.
His legs straddle mine and his fist comes down. I catch it, barely. Our arms shake with the strain.
My shout morphs into a grunt as I raise my hips, hook a leg around his and flip us again. His back hits the ground and his breath rushes out of him.
A hand grabs at my shoulder and whoever tries to pull us apart receives a sharp shove. It sends them stumbling away, and fabric tears somewhere around us.
“I waited in the dark every night with my torch lamp. Waiting for it to be you.”
I draw my arm back, readying to bring my fist down again.
“Enough!”
The sound of metal sliding against metal has the room falling into an eerie stillness. Riven’s and my attention slowly pivots to the side.
“The next one of you to throw a punch loses their fucking hand.”
Kyzen’s eyes have completely voided of life. I slowly lower my fist and crawl off Riven, giving him my hand to pull him up.
Creed steps in front of the two of us with his palms facing out.
“Hey, everything’s okay. They’re fine now. They just needed to get it out.”
“Get it out? Get it out?”
A haunting laugh tears from Kyzen’s throat and the sword he has pointed at us trembles from his shaking.
“And when do I get to get it out, huh? When do I get to unload all the secrets you’ve all dumped on me to hold?”
Riven and I cautiously take a side each of Creed’s. None of us move further than that. We know better.
One wrong step and he’s going to swing those blades.
“Kyzen. What is that on your chest?” Riven asks low.
“Oh, this?” He pierces the sword against his heart until a stream of blood flows down his chest. “My mark. The little piece Obsidian left me to remind me of who I am.”
My eyes trace the sunsetter with the sword going through it.
It ticks.
The Killer of Time.
“That isn’t who you are,” I say.
“Really, Amick? Then who the fuck am I?” He chuckles, shaking his head. “’Cause I don’t know. I live my life for the three of you. Always have.”
He swings his sword until it’s pointing at Riven. Creed and I flinch but resist our urge to stand in front of him.
“You tease and taunt and push him in order to get a rise out of him. Get attention from him. Our whole lives, it’s driven you nuts that he’s the hardest on you.
He was doing it to protect you. Always. Those years following your Chaos coming out and Sabelline taking you to Seductions, it left Creed exposed.
I knew then you were doing something to keep his power from spiraling.
I didn’t know what for sure until Obsidian. ”
A ripple flinches across his chest as if just the thought of his mark disturbs him.
“Every time something went wrong, our father would try and blame you. Even if you weren’t there. Amick would speak out—call him out—and he’d lock him away. In a dark room. With nothing but a torch lamp.”
My eyes shift to the other side of the room as if I may see one sitting on a shelf that isn’t even there. I force my gaze back to Kyzen.
Unfortunately, I find him staring at me. Not Riven.
“It wasn’t just your only company you could talk to. It was your comfort. Protection. You could flick it on or off.”
His attention moves back to Riven.
“Every time Creed lost control while you were gone, our father would drag the bodies to Amick’s door and throw them inside. Then stand there and laugh, telling him it was you.”
My throat tightens.
“And you,” Kyzen says, swinging the sword to me. “I kept that secret for you. Even after years of being in the Godsdawn, I told you to tell him the truth, so he’d stop teasing you. You wouldn’t. You refused.”
I swore I wouldn’t tell Riven why I was so obsessed with the torch lamps because I didn’t want him to know what I was doing all those years.
He shifts his focus and weapon back to Riven, who I can feel staring at the side of my face.