Thayla #2
“It’s too dangerous for her here!” His shout stuns me back a step, and he grips his roots before letting his hands fall to his hips.
“Our parents were just murdered, and we were just betrayed by someone who knows everything about us. She was kidnapped and held hostage with a sword to her throat. She’s an ungodly child, living among gods. She isn’t safe with us right now.”
“I can protect her!”
“No, you can’t, Thay,” he says and I gasp.
His shoulders sag. “You could and would if you have time to prepare, but that’s never a guarantee.
What happens to her if we’re at your house and we suddenly find ourselves surrounded by Dark Gods and Oblirians?
Or you have to drop everything because they’re attacking at the barrier? ”
“V, or me, or any one of us starshoot her out. It takes a millisecond of thought.”
“And what about the day-to-day? She’s going to roam the rows of books at the Athenaeum with Rose and me all day, or sit in Ellian’s office?
Or is she going to go to the Court every other day with you?
We have to think about more than just her safety.
Her structure, stability, her childhood.
She needs friends. She needs more than what we can provide her. ”
Everything within me vibrates. Everything hurts.
I can’t…I can’t do this.
Numbness pours through my body as my heart splinters open.
“Well. It sounds like you have it figured out already. She’s your sister, so if that’s—”
“Don’t. Don’t you dare do that to me, Thayla Godrun.
” His eyes shatter and my bottom lip trembles uncontrollably.
“Don’t shut me out to protect your heart.
My heart is breaking too, but I can’t think about myself right now.
I have to think about her, and you are the closest being to family we have left.
You are our big sister, and I need you right now. I need your guidance and blessing.”
I battle the need to sink to the ground and crumble beneath the weight of disappointment that slams into me. Not because of him or this decision.
In myself.
She isn’t safe with us. She isn’t safe anywhere near me.
I know it in my heart and soul.
I hate that.
The tears immediately fall down my cheeks, and I hold my hand over my mouth to silence the sob that wants to escape.
Lambrit tugs me to him, wrapping me in the realm’s tightest hug as I lose myself.
“You—we—aren’t abandoning her. We aren’t doing to her what your parents did to you. We are still going to be here for her every step in this journey.”
I nod against his chest, although it feels like a betrayal.
It feels like I’m doing to her exactly what they did to me.
We sit here silently for a long moment as I collect myself and wipe the snot and tears from my face. I allow everything he said to run through my mind, and I try to push the emotion away. The more logical sense it makes, the more my arguments seem selfish.
They are. They’re my own selfish desires.
After I release a long, ragged breath, I peer up at him.
“You want to ask Annalise and Ellian to keep her.”
He nods.
“I do.”
“Well,” I sniffle and take a step back. “That would be the only circumstance I’d agree to. There she’ll have her own room, affection, other children, adventures, fun, the most delicious food—”
My breath rushes out of me, and I fight back another sob.
“There she’ll have a chance at a normal…as normal as it can be now, childhood. Plus, we can see her every day.”
His shoulders sag in relief, and despite the absolute havoc pounding away in my heart, I know this is the best thing for her.
“You head back home and have a conversation with Annalise. I’m going to take a sec, then go to the healing villas. I’ll be at your house when I’m done.”
The tender, grateful smile he gives me is so heartfelt, it hurts.
“Thank you, Thay.”
I bite my bottom lip and nod. “Of course.”
He backpedals a few steps, then disappears through a starshoot. I inhale and exhale, over and over.
My feet stumble back a few steps before my knees give out on me and I sink to the ground. Heaving.
“Gods.”
I breathe.
My eyes clench shut tight as I dig my fingers into the grass, rocking back and forth on all fours.
A comforting hoot pulls a harsh sigh out of me.
“I know how hard this was, Thayla, but I’m so proud of you. You both made the right decision.”
“If it was right, why does it feel so wrong?”
“Wrong and painful are not the same thing. Sometimes, the best decisions we make are the ones that hurt us the most.”
I let his words sear into my bones as my rocking slows to a stop. My head bows toward the grass, and my lungs fill with the scent as I take countless deep breaths.
“Would you like me to tell the boys where you’re headed?”
“No,” I say. “I’d rather them not have to face something like this.”
“Okay, my Vedae. I will be here with you every step of the way.”
I exhale once more as I sit back on my heels and nod. His power wraps around the two of us, and before I know it—before I’m ready—we’re standing directly in the departed section of the healing villas.
My feet refuse to move as my gaze traces over Mr. and Mrs. Armend lying there on the stone slabs.
It’s such a confusing, heartbreaking experience mourning people whom you know didn’t really care for you. I care so fiercely about their children, though. I always have. My love for the two of them has always been stronger than their parents’ dislike for me.
It’s strong enough, I never felt like I needed their approval.
“Go on,” V says quietly. “I want to teach you something.”
A shaky breath spills through my lips, and I take a wobbly step forward. V soars from my shoulder over to one of the empty tables, and I tilt my head to the side as light appears around his claws.
By the time I reach him, he has multiple little trinkets laid out.
“What’s this?” I ask.
“This chain and broken pendant are an old necklace Mr. Armend gifted Mrs. Armend. It’s been tucked away in her jewelry box for many years.
This well-used pen was Mr. Armend’s favorite.
He used it daily. And this piece of ceramic came from the house the two of them lived in when they lived in Darlander before they had Lambrit.
Mrs. Armend brought it with her and placed it in her garden. ”
My wide eyes bounce from the items to V multiple times.
“How do you…did you take all of this earlier when you all were there?”
“I did. And how I know this is because when a soul is getting ready to pass on, there is a split second in time where your life, in fact, does flash before your eyes. That old saying has a lot of truth to it. For a brief moment, when Creed guided Mrs. Armend’s soul to Mr. Armend’s, they had that moment together.
It’s like the soul’s way of thanking the body it’s leaving behind for everything they did together. I watched that moment.”
“I—” I shake my head, astonished. “I didn’t realize you could do that.”
“Well, truth be told, I typically only see the life lived of beings I have a Calling with. Nonetheless, I was blessed with the opportunity to watch theirs and what these simple items meant to them. You now are going to shape them into something special for Lambrit and Laney, then place some of their parents’ ashes within the creations. ”
Understanding dawns on me and punctures my lungs. My hands hover over the trinkets, analyzing everything about them.
“You want me to use my Creation and Obliteration together.”
“Yes.”
I nod as my mind starts racing over things to create.
“Okay.”
As gently as I can, I twist the delicate chain between my thumb and fingers. The piece remaining of the pendant resembles a petal of a flower, but I’m not entirely sure.
These items are perfect already.
Laney loves all things shiny and pretty.
Lambrit appreciates a good pen.
They just need…some love added to them.
I lay the chain and pendant piece in the center of my hand, and suck in a deep breath as I call my Creation forward. A faint glow appears in my palm, and I curl my fingers closed.
My eyes drift shut and a memory I didn’t expect to surface roars forward. It was a long, agonizing day, and like too many nights to recount, I found myself lying in the grass outside, staring at the stars.
Lambrit and Laney snuck up on me, and he gave me an apologetic smile. He said she saw me outside her bedroom window and wanted to come lie with me. I chuckled and patted the grass beside me.
She asked me how the stars were made.
The answer in my mind was fuck if I know.
The answer I gave her was the Valories wanted us to have light to make it through the darkness in case we needed it.
She said she wanted to shine bright like a star.
I told her she was the brightest star in my life.
A watery laugh escapes me as I push my power into the items in my hand. The quiet hum vibrates through my fingers for a few moments.
Once it stops, I uncurl them and smile down at the sparkling gold necklace. The pendant is shaped into a four-point star, and the center is a perfectly round, small globe.
For now, the tiny little glass piece is open.
I lay it down gently, then pick up the pen next.
It’s a standard writing tool. Nothing fancy or decorative.
The God of Scripture’s beautiful, feathered pen comes to mind first, but Lambrit wouldn’t care a thing about something so extravagant.
It needs to be simple but highly functional.
The pen warms beneath my fingers, softening and reshaping at my will. The dull, fragile casing deepens into a smooth, sturdier finish. Something that feels meant to be held and used. I reinforce the core where the ink goes next, strengthening it so it will never crack, never fail him mid-thought.
Beneath my thumb, I imagine an engraving of an open book. He’ll like the way that feels when he’s deep in thought and needs to touch the texture of something.
Behind that engraving, I carefully carve out a hollow. A space that’ll keep them safe and allow them to be with him while he loses himself to his work.